100 Bloody Acres Page #5

and have a pull instead.

Both of you, f***ing die!

You son of a b*tch.

No Linds!

Linds!

For God's sake, shut up!

Nancy is here.

There he is, Maigret.

Don't worry, we'll be quick.

Lindsay, you still there?

Linds!

Ow, ow, stop it!

Just.. mate, mate, your hand.

Here, use me hanky.

Now, hold that tight.

Keep the pressure on it.

Alright, okay, thanks.

I'm gonna get us

out of here, alright?

Just relax.

Lindsay!

- So, how many times?

- What?

You and Wes, how

many times, have you f***?

For God's sake, let it go.

Somewhere between five and ten?

James, what difference does it make?

Makes a head of difference!

There's a sliding scale

of infidelity here.

And there's an inverse

scale of forgiveableness.

So if I said it was only once,

that would make you feel better?

Probably.

It was only once, okay?

You are lying.

F***ing hell, it happened!

What else do you need to know?

I need dates, numbers.

I need to know if

you were sober or drunk.

Who made the first move.

Where it happened.

What you were wearing.

Fingerings, handjobs, blowj*bs.

I need to know the full

magnitude of your betrayal!

If I'm gonna... you

know, move forward.

Oh! Linds, you gave me a start.

G'day, Nance.

How are you, love?

Oh... pretty, pretty flat out.

- Lot on your plate?

- Yeah, yeah bits and pieces.

You really should wear

an apron when you're working

with all that yucky stuff.

Next time I come, I'll

make sure I give you one.

Oh, you don't have to do that.

Oh, don't be silly.

Oh, where's Maigret? Maigret, come.

You wait here.

I'll go fetch him.

I'll let myself in, love.

Uh, yeah.

Oh, no, you don't.

No, you f***ing dog!

Arggh!

Give it to me,

you little f***ing sh*t!

I'll put the kettle on, shall I?

Yeah, yeah.

I'll be, uh...

I'll be down in a tick.

Lindsay!

Linds!

Hey, mate, there

should be a tire iron

- somewhere near you.

- Yeah?

Just over a little further

down to your side there.

I think...

Yeah, I got it.

Good work.

I'm sorry I shot you, man.

Oh, no, she'll be alright, eh?

Yeah?

I have got a, uh,

big order to fill, Nance.

- So I shouldn't...

- I won't keep you.

I just popped in to pick up

a couple of those lovely pumpkins.

Not the prize winners of course.

Just a couple from the smaller crop.

The girls and I are

setting up a bake stand

for the Salvo Six.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Whatever you need.

Reggie is doing his deliveries?

Reg?

Gee, uh, Reg, um...

Reg is gonna be

gone a while, I reckon.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

Uh, cousin Ruth up in Queensland.

- Bloody cancer.

- Oh, Linds!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, well.

Reg has gone up

there to sort it all out.

Could be gone a while.

Driving up, I see?

No, no, no, he's flying.

Funny, I thought I saw him

about an hour and a half ago

driving down Old Cobb Road.

Uh, on his way to the crown.

- In the truck?

- Yup, I'll pick it up tomorrow.

Well, how will you get the P76 back?

I'll get Burkey!

Or someone to

take me down there.

I could always take you, love.

It's all good, Nancy.

It's all good.

So they can stitch 'em back on, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bob Clay up on Jacaranda Crest

he chopped his hand off,

digging fence posts

about ten years ago.

Brave little bugger

walked about 20 clicks

before anyone found him.

But you know what?

They located his hand,

they put it in a Esky,

choppered him off to the city.

And before you know it,

he was as good as new.

Yeah?

Yeah, I won't lie to you.

The hand didn't take too well

and he had to give the farming away.

But it turned out to be a bit

of a blessing in disguise.

He got into sign painting

during his rehab,

and now he has got his own business.

Does all the local shops.

Even did our truck.

So, there is hope, eh?

Yeah.

Yeah, we got to find my hand, man.

Right, I promise ya, as

soon as we get out of here,

We'll grab the others,

we'll find your hand,

and we'll get you

straight to hospital.

Right?

You think I'll get

to go in the chopper?

I reckon that will happen for sure.

Cool.

You alright, Linds?

You look absolutely buggered,

pardon my French.

No, no, no, I'm alright.

Your cysts giving you gyp again?

No, no, I have just

been real busy, Nance.

Morgan's Organic

will get your garden

growing great

Jesus, I wish they'd stop

playing this f***ing ad!

Lindsay, Darl, the ad's terrific.

Very funny.

Sorry, Nance.

It's been one of those days.

Of course it has.

Now, you just relax.

Oh, you're so tense.

Did you ever see that

nice fella from Guildford

I was telling you about?

You know, about the anger thingy?

No.

No, I didn't.

So, I don't think the shrink's gonna

do me much good now, Nance.

No.

I know what you need.

A nice hot cuppa.

Oh, that's probably, uh, Charlie Wick.

- I promised I'd...

- Now, stay right where you are,

Lindsay Morgan.

Let the machine get it.

No, Maigret.

You can go outside now.

I mean, was he any good?

Yeah, I guess he is no slouch, right?

I mean, shaves his

balls and everything.

I mean, only the

professionals shave their balls.

What kind of operation

you idiots are running.

Jesus, Soph.

...it's about the goddamn money...

Oh, God, I can see it.

this time I'm calling a f***ing Yates

I almost wanted to come over

and pick up these bags meself.

F***!

Hey, Maigret.

Come on, man.

Mate, what are you doing?

My hand, where is it, man?

Let's get the others first, eh?

What did you do with it?

Well, I don't know, but we

got to move, come on!

Well?

Talk to me!

All right, James.

- You want details.

- Yes.

Come on!

- Reg.

- Great.

Move it, mate.

We gonna find it, yes?

Jesus, Wesley, your hand.

F***ing dog.

Hey guys.

What's happening?

Oh, nothing much.

He's about to learn the

full extent of my cuckoldry.

Soph, you were about to share.

Thanks, Reg.

Hey, you're hurt.

- Wes!

- Oh, no, it's nothing.

Maybe you could shed some

light on the situation.

I wish I could talk in color.

Hey, them hock grab is a bit tricky.

You may want to...

Jeeze, you're a natural.

Excuse me, mate, can we get

back to the issue at hand, please?

Hey, Jimbo!

I'm going to f***ing kill you!

Hey!

Get off him!

Alright, just settle.

Fellows, settle!

Settling now.

F***ing settle!

Can't you see?

Right now it's not

about what we did do

or didn't do.

But we do do.

Because sometimes

what you have to do is...

Gee, I don't know

why I keep saying "do".

But, well, what I mean is...

you can't undo what you've done,

but you can do...

Aww! Ahh!

Look I'm not real good

at these big speeches,

but you know what I mean, right?

Hey, yeah, let's gather around

and listen to the psycho!

- Reg ain't a psycho!

- Alright?

Hey, we got to get your mate into ten

or he's gonna end up with

a Bob Clay special.

- Are you alright to drive?

- Yeah.

But what you gonna do?

I'm going to march right in there

and get them keys off Linds.

And if he don't want

to give 'em to me,

I'm just gonna bloody make him.

Hey, what about my hand, man?

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