10 Items or Less Page #4

Piece of cake.

Okay? Come on.

Okay.

Okay. Here we go.

Okay.

Ready?

Yeah.

All right.

Uh, good afternoon, Miss, um...

Morales.

Miss Morales.

Yeah.

Well, it's very nice to meet you.

Thank you.

It's a beautiful blouse.

Now it says here that you come

to us from Archie's Ranch Market.

That's that fine establishment

over in Carson.

Is that correct?

Yes.

Where you apparently ran

the 10-items-or-less checkout counter

while everybody else did sh*t.

No need for modesty here.

That's right. Yeah.

That's good.

Well... tell me about yourself,

Miss Morales.

Okay, uh...

I'm, um-- I'm originally from Spain.

You don't say.

I've worked in the grocery service...

industry for six years.

Mm-hmm.

And, um...

Oh, I can't. I can't.

What?

I can't do this.

No, no, no!

No, this is stupid.

This is--

No, no, no.

This is good.

That was good.

Oh, come on.

We were-- we were in it.

This is what it's all about.

This is the fun sh*t.

Come on. Come on.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Tell me about yourself,

Ms. Morales.

Family?

Mm, not exactly.

Married?

I have a husband, but--

He's a real prick.

Extra-extra large.

What about children?

Any kids?

No. No.

Planning on having any?

Down the line, maybe?

I don't know if, uh, I'm--

Okay, that's gonna be possible.

Do you know,

or you don't know?

Don't know.

Don't know for sure.

No, n-no--

But I haven't--

Because you haven't been

knocked up by an extra-large prick.

Is that his fault or yours?

I-I don't know.

He's so busy banging door

number two, how could you know?

Yeah, but they got--

Sh-She got--

So fast.

And that means you can't.

No. No, I don't--

Have you had

yourself checked out?

No, no, but I'm going to--

Then how do you know?

It's--

What has this got

to do with construction?

Ah! That's good.

That's very good.

They-They really gonna ask

about this in the interview?

Mm, probably not.

What the--

Why are you doing this?

Curious.

Why are you so curious about me?

Wh-What do you care?

Because I see you.

You're me.

Well, not as-as handsome, but--

I mean, look at yourself.

You're 25 years old, right?

And you feel as old

as I did on my last birthday.

A busted marriage,

a shitty job,

convinced already that you're barren.

You lookin' back

from the warning track

thinkin' you've already

given away the good sh*t.

And try as you may,

you cannot convince yourself

that there's anything

left out there for you,

so why keep playing?

I know.

I know.

I sit here in this car,

with somebody I hardly know,

in a section of town I haven't

a f***in' clue where I am.

Don't know my phone number,

don't know what day it is.

I don't think I even have

a real friend I could call.

And I realize that I could just...

disappear.

Just... disappear.

I don't have any friends.

I know you don't.

I never had them.

Never, at no time.

And I know everybody.

I could be your friend.

No, you couldn't.

Nah.

No, you'd just want

to have sex with me.

Maybe you could.

Do you play tennis?

You'd come over, hang out

at the house, meet the kids--

We could meet for

breakfast once a week.

You know we will never

see each other again.

Bullshit! Of course we will.

Don't say that. Don't--

Let's not say what is not true.

Not-- Not here.

You know, maybe we should

just get you home.

Forget this whole stupid--

No, no. No.

Uh-uh-uh.

That's not you talking.

That's your blood sugar.

When did you eat last?

I don't-- What?

What do you eat in a day?

I--

You do your protein in the morning?

See? That's it.

Everybody forgets that.

Everybody.

You know who told me that?

The Dalai Lama.

Protein fanatic.

Why do you think

he's smiling all the time?

Big pork chop under those robes.

You can't expect yourself

to deliver on an empty tank.

Right? You can't focus.

You like lentils?

Okay. Okay. Where can we score

some lentils around here?

Okay. Plan B.

Girl needs some protein.

Girl needs iron.

Hi. I was wondering

if you couldn't put together

a little veggie something for us--

I don't know, a little tomato,

a little cheese?

You know, something simple?

Sorry.

You know what I like

to do sometimes?

Mm-mm.

When I'm feeling stale, you know?

And I need to come

back to work fresh?

British. I do everything

with a British accent.

It's quite pleasant, really.

Clears the linguistic palate.

Breaks the monotony,

the needless anxiety.

Do try it.

Mm-hmm?

Yes, go on.

Pleasant. Quite pleasant.

I say. Spot on, old girl.

Spot on.

You act all the time,

don't you?

I suppose when one's a performer,

one does like doing

the acting thing, yes.

You love it.

With every ounce

of my magnificent body.

Then, why don't you work?

Why-Why don't you commit?

Well, that's--

That's the query, isn't it?

The Holy Grail.

I suppose it has to do with agents,

lawyers, gardeners--

overhead.

Protecting one's quotes.

Dodging the creative bullet.

Judging, weighing, hiding.

Teasing.

Seducing.

Being seduced.

Too soon you realize you've been

sitting quite sportily

on the sidelines for years.

Right, then.

Ten things you hate in your life,

things you loathe.

I believe I've named mine.

Oh.

Quickly now. Don't think.

Oh. Oh.

Okay. Um, my feet.

Mm-hmm.

My marriage.

Mm-hmm.

My clothes.

Slow people.

Asking directions.

Paper and plastic.

Lies.

Money. No. Needing money.

Needing.

Okay.

Ten items or less.

Ten things you fancy

most in your life.

Oh.

Ten things you would keep,

if you could only keep 10.

Okay, okay. Um.

My car.

And it's a wonderful car.

Thank you.

My nephew.

My toaster.

The tree behind my house.

Wind.

Music.

Any music.

My hair, when it's raining.

Mm.

That's only seven.

Yeah?

Your turn.

Ten item or less.

Keepers.

Mm-hmm.

My wife.

My kids.

Their friends.

Coffee at 5:
30 in the morning.

A really good bowel movement.

No extra takes.

Uh, all 88 ivories.

Sex.

The written word.

Breathable cotton.

And... strong endings.

That was 11.

I know.

But the sign says 10.

I know.

Oh. You know, you are

just like everyone else.

You just have to push it.

Didn't you? Oh, sh*t.

Don't laugh!

I'm sorry.

Eat your protein.

Yeah.

Come on. Remember.

Dalai Lama.

Yeah.

So you repeat after me, okay?

Mm-hmm.

My turn, yeah?

Okay, your turn.

Listen. Um.

So what did I say?

What did I say?

Oh, it's a long story.

Okay.

It's a-- Okay.

Yeah?

Al pasar la barca means,

I'll pasar the boat.

The boat.

The boat cross in front of you.

Oh, okay.

At the passing of the boat.

Uh-huh.

The man in the boat say,

the beautiful girl.

"All beautiful girl

come be with me without money."

Okay, beautiful girls don't pay

to get on the boat.

Yeah, but the beautiful girls say,

"I'm not a beautiful girl.

"I don't want to be

a beautiful girl.

I want to pay."

Okay.

That is the story.

Okay. All the beautiful girls

can come on the boat for free,

but the girl says, "I don't

want to be a beautiful girl."

Yeah.

I'm gonna pay.

I'm gonna pay.

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