10 Most Excellent Things: The Producers Page #10

---

...but you couldn't call

any of them "friend."

But come to think of it...

...no one ever, ever really knew me.

Till him

Everyone was always out

To screw me

Till him

Never met a man I ever trusted

Always dealt with shysters

In the past

Now I'm well-adjusted

'Cause I've got a friend at last

Don't help me.

Always playing singles

Never doubles

Till him

Never had a pal

To share my troubles

Till him

He filled up my empty life

- Filled it to the brim

- Filled it to the brim

There could never ever be

Another one

Like him

Gentlemen, it breaks my heart...

...to break up

such a beautiful friendship.

So I won't.

Five years in the state penitentiary

at Sing Sing.

Gotta sing, sing

Gotta sing, sing

Oh, you can lock us up

Und lose the k ey

But hearts in love

Are always free

Come on, boys.

Prisoners of love

Blue skies above

'Cause we're still prisoners of love

Congratulations.

You now own 45 percent...

...of Prisoners of Love. Next!

- How much have you sold so far?

- Six hundred percent.

Is that all? Keep selling.

Keep selling.

All right, break it up! Break it up!

Quiet! Give me that.

How many times do

I have to tell you guys?

No knife fights in rehearsal.

Hi. What are you in for,

lack of rhythm?

Get in line.

Everybody get in line, right away!

All right, you animals,

let's take it all together!

From the top! Hit it, Franz!

Prisoners of love

Blue skies above

- Can't k eep our hearts in jail

- Tempo, fellas! Pick up that tempo!

- Prisoners of love

- That's it.

- Our turtledoves

- Okay, just the murderers!

Hey, you.

The warden wants to get in

on this thing.

Tell the warden he now owns

- Thank you.

- Sing out, criminals.

Let them hear you in solitary.

Take it home, boys.

We open in Leavenworth

on Saturday night!

Hey, Bialystock, Bloom, Liebkind,

good news!

This just came from the governor.

"Gentlemen, you are hereby

granted a full pardon...

...for having, through song and dance,

brought joy and laughter...

...into the hearts of every murderer,

rapist and sex maniac in Sing Sing."

- You're free!

- Free?

Next stop, Prisoners of Love

on Broadway!

- Broadway!

- Adolf, you must tell the other birds.

But hearts in love

Are always free

Gotta sing, sing

Sing, sing

Prisoners of love

Blue skies above

- Can't k eep our hearts in jail

- Can't k eep our hearts in jail

Prisoners of love

- Our turtledoves

- Soon coming 'round with bail

- Tote that bale

- Oh, you can lock us up

And lose the k ey

But hearts in love

Are always free

Prisoners of love

Blue skies above

'Cause we're still prisoners

We're still prisoners

We're still prisoners of love

- Love, love, love

- Love, love, love, love

Love, love, love, love

Love

Leo and Max

Up off our backs

Back on the Great White Way

Leo and Max

Back on our tracks

We're back on top to stay

So when we take your money

Never fear

We'll knock Broadway

Right on its ear

The cast is great

The script is swell

But this we're telling you, sirs

It's just no go

You've got no show

Without the producers

We'll never quit

Hit after hit

The producers

Leo and Max

The overture is over

The curtain starts to rise

You're suddenly in clover

You can't believe your eyes

You're sitting on the aisle

You break into a smile

Why this magic feeling?

And then you realize

That there is

Nothing like a show on Broadway

Nothing like a Broadway show

Hearts will skip a beat on Broadway

If you're feeling blue

I'm telling you

That's the place to go

Movies drag

Their endings sag

TV's just a bore

So hit the street

And move your feet

To the place we all adore

Because there's nothing

Like a show on Broadway

There's nothing

Like a Broadway show

It's often been said

The theatre is dead

The critics repeat it en masse

But the theatre's alive

It's gonna survive

Although it's a pain in the ass

You waited forever

And finally got tick ets

To get to your seat

You gotta cross pick ets

The guy to your right

Is frightfully tight

The guy to your left

Appears to have rick ets

The music's yuck

The lyrics suck

The casting is all wrong

And when you reach the bathroom

The line is five miles long

But still there's nothing

Like a show on Broadway

There's nothing

Like a Broadway show

You swear you'll never go again

It's simply not worthwhile

You make that vow

And then somehow

- You're back there on the aisle

- You're back there on the aisle

That's why there's

Nothing like a show

On Broadway

There's nothing

Like a Broadway show

Till you're in movies

There's nothing

Like a Broadway show

And though it is expensive

At a hundred bucks a throw

There's nothing

Like a Broadway show!

Don't forget to buy Mein Kampf...

...in paperback.

Available near you...

...at Borders books...

...or Barnes & Noble...

...und amazon. Com.

Thanks for coming

To see our show

Sad to tell you

We got to go

Grab your hat

And head for the door

In case you didn't notice

There ain't any more

If you like our show

Tell everyone but

If you think it stinks

Keep your big mouth shut

We're glad you came but

We have to shout

- Ados

- Au rev oir

- Wiedersehen

- Ta-ta-ta

- Goodbye

- Get lost

Get out

It's over.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes