10 Rules for Sleeping Around Page #6

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What's your problem?

If it wasn't for you and your moronic open relationship..

I wouldn't come down here

and safe your sorry ass..

And stumble upon that slut and those condoms.

Which force me to have an affair.

With a gay man.

So now, i'm the one who's being blamed for having an affair

when it's really Ben who's been cheating.

So Ben breaks up with me,

and said it's my fault.

But it's all your fault.

It is not my fault your boyfriend is banging some Rio bimbo.

Get out of my house,

i never want to see you again.

Where are you going? I need you.

-I'm out of here, i'm leaving.

Please, you have to tell Ben that nothing happened.

Please.

Are you crazy? I quit.

Expect my bill in the mail.

Fine, Quit but please talk to Ben and

tell him nothing happened, please.

Where the hell is my car? Gaby, damn it!

My life is falling apart, and all anyone care about is this stupid girl.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

Pardon me.

I hope i'm not interupting anything.

You're..

Emma Cooney.

Oh my God, i'm sorry.

It's such a pleasure to meet you.

Ben will be so pleased that you're here.

-There he is.

Ben!

Emma!

Hi!

Ben?

Come in, come in..

Welcome.

So glad you can come,

isn't this nice?

I assume that you've already met my lovely wife..

Right here.

-Your wife?

No..

But you two..

Don't be silly, he's teasing..

No, i'm Cameron..

I'm Vince's wife.

You're Vince?

You look nothing like how i'd imagine you

from your e-mails.

But who looks like their e-mails?

True..

-Nobody.

Nobody.

I hate to be a bother,

i just thought i'd..

Take Ben up on his..

Kind offer of a pre-gala libation.

You like mojitos?

-I don't know.

Let's discover now, please..

I don't want to be Vince.

Tough, you owe Ben this much.

I don't owe him anything.

You know what? I owe you a ball straight,

so if you ever want to collect.

You got 15 seconds.

You probably heard a tons of crazy stories today..

But i'm gonna go a little different direction,

a little honesty.

I'm not on the guestlist.

I don't even like parties,

i don't want to be here..

I just need to talk to Emma Cooney.

You know Emma Cooney?

Yeah.

Ben Roberts.

Ben Roberts?

I know Ben Roberts.

-What?

You're not him, you're just a sneaky snake trying to get into this party.

I'm not a sneaky snake.

-Yes you are.

But guess what,

i got something for you.

Fellas.

Get him!

I love froggy the detective,

it was so..

Moving.

So, is your wife here Ben?

I'd love to meet her,

Wife? No we're not married.

They're not even engaged.

Kate's upstairs.

Look, there's Kate right now.

You are here.

Kate, meet Emma Cooney, the author.

Nice to meet you, Kate.

Lovely home you have here.

Thank you.

I thought it felt a bit gouched..

Austintatious, new Vouge rich..

No, i think it'll be lovely when it's finished.

Do you think so?

I don't know.

Katy.

Vince.

Drink up, Kate.

You've got to be kidding me.

So, Emma..

Ben?

Ben..

Look who it is. It's..

Owen.

Yes, Owen.

Our interior designer.

He prefers lifestyler.

Whatever.

-It doesn't matter.

Owen Manners?

What are you doing here?

Aren't you the wonderkid who's in charge of tonight's ball?

Not for long.

What the hell is going on?

What are you guys doing?

Who the f***..

Oh my God.. No way.

Excuse us..

Owen insists we go to the party.

-That's awesome.

Kate, what is she doing here?

Pay attention, Owen is Vince..

Vince is you, I'm Cameron,

Cameron is me, go with it.

What? Why?

Because it's the only truth that'll make it work.

Wait.

If Owen is Vince,

and Vince is me..

Does that mean that i'm..

Yup.

Do you want this Magical princess book or not?

Go.

Oh my God.

Oh my God Emma Cooney,

i'm such a big fan of yours.

I's so nice to meet you.

Give me your hands.

I'm Owen.

I'm so sorry, it went down the wrong..

Hole.

Let me get that for you.

Wait.

There you go.

You look beautiful.

Really big fans.

We're huge fans.

-Right. Kate?

Yes! Big fans!

I'll get it.

It's probably for me.

Hello?

Who?

Hugh? What?

How would i know if Hugh is banging cougars or not?

It doesn't make any sense.

Wrong number.

Perhaps i should be going.

Absolutely not, you can't go.

You should be sitting, you should be sitting down.

I think i will join you, i'm just gonna go upstairs and freshen up.

Please sit.

Come on.

Come on.

-No?

Chips?

So Emma, how's your new E-book?

Any popups in it?

Idiot.

-I'm so sorry.

So sorry. Ben, you publish electronic books, not porn.

And we got spam blockers for the pop-ups.

The children will be safe.

Hey, where are you going?

To make up for lost times.

Hey, why did you come down here

and spy on me anyway?

You know the rules.

Maybe i cam down here to have a little fun myself.

Did you ever think about that?

That's what the phonecall was?

And the naked kid in the bedroom?

I'm gonna make sharkbait

out of your jailbait.

Owen was telling the truth.

You came down here to rob the cradle, Mrs Robinson?

Cammie, come on.

-Go away!

You have a dog?

Neighbor's.

I'm sorry.

Stop.

F***ing dog.

Shut up!

I have a labradoodle.

I named him Snoodle.

Sshh.. Quiet.

Motherfu...

Christ's sake!

-Beg your pardon?

Neighbor's dog's name.

is Christsake..

Very religious.

All we hear all day long is

Here, Christsake.

Good, Christsake.

Come here, Christsake!

Nice name, Christsake.

God..

No no..

No, stop.

Whoa!

-Oh my god, christsake!

Where?

I just love my wife, Cameron.

That's lovely.

No!

No means no!

No!

Darling, little tiny darling.

Can we talk outside for a second?

If you insist.

I love you.

She's a pistol.

She's a pistol.

Yup, that's..

She doesn't like children.

I do.

Just because you've been servicing the queen,

doesn't mean you have to advertise it.

I'm not having an affair with Owen.

God, even your lies have lies.

Our lies are honest.

-So why are you pretending to be me?

there was this prick security guard..

I didn't want Cooney to think i.. We..

We were stalking.

I was winging it.

What an idiot.

Look who's preaching from the pulpit,

little miss shopping code of conduct.

There's a code, what code?

Shut up, Mr threeway!

No, have you no shame!

For christsake.

He's not in here, dear.

Stop it.

After tonight we can all just flip each other off..

And go our merryways.

But sitting out there is the only way to save your..

Hanging by a thread business,

so i suggest..

We all just suck it up..

Put on your best phony faces..

And lay the bullshit on that.

Fine.

Emma, what's the book about?

I'll get it.

I get it.

Hey.

-It's the cutie..

What are you doing here?

-I just love your dog.

What is his name?

Christsake!

Sorry, i was just asking.

Why don't you guys at the party?

It's already started.

Come on.

Yeah, you're missing a lot of good stuff.

Just head back.

Yeah, good idea.

-I forgot my weed.

Did she just say weed?

No..

We.. like the video game thing.

They love games.

Ladies, can you come back later?

Cause they need the party and whatever you do..

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