13 Going on 30 Page #4

-Yeah, I have BattIeship.

I'II show you my destroyer.

-I caII the red board.

-WeII, I caII the bIue board.

What?

Okay. I know. I forgot.

I owe you one raunchy striptease.

Oh, God.

Oh, gross.

Who's got the moves

on the ice and off the ice, ice, baby?

Wait! Wait! Wait! I don't wanna see

that thing again. Put it away.

Put it away!

God.

We can pIay MonopoIy!

We can pIay Parcheesi!

He didn't have BattIeship.

He didn't have any games.

Boys are so stupid.

Becky, it's even worse than you think.

How come the ones

that you Iike never Iike you?

WeII, you have to fight for what

you want. RuIe number one:

Love is a battIefieId.

That's deep. ReaIIy deep.

-Good Iuck with fractions.

-Have fun at work.

To the office, Tom.

''Fifty-seven ways to have an orgasm.''

''Fifty-seven ways to have an orgasm.''

-I didn't know there were 57.

-''Touch-her-there underwear.''

No.

''He Ioves you, but....''

-''He Ioves your butt.''

-Yes.

-''He Iies, he cheats...

-So typicaI.

...what are you doing wrong?''

There's no easy way of saying this,

so I'm just gonna come out with it.

The circs are in.

Our numbers are dismaI.

We're beIow 600,000 totaI circuIation.

Sparkle is cIosing in on a miIIion.

I've come off the phone with corporate

and they have dropped the R word.

Redesign?

Redesign Poise?

Wait. Sparkle copies everything

we come up with...

...and we have to redesign?

That's buIIshit.

WeII, either we redesign and bring up

our numbers or they puII the pIug.

Richard, redesign is a death sentence.

No, it's not. It's a chance

to have some fun.

Let Sparkle have aII our

secondhand, staIe, grody ideas.

We'II open up the F.O.B.,

overhauI the B.O.B.

It's time for us to prove

we have some poise Ieft.

WeII, I shaII be Ieaving it

to my dynamic duo...

...to come up with something

utterIy fabuIous.

We have two weeks,

four hours and 30 minutes.

-I have your urgent messages.

-Let's hear them.

WeII, okay.

EmiIy Pratt caIIed

and wanted me to teII you:

''I can't beIieve you scooped my story

on Vivienne Tam, you backbiting b*tch.

That was a new IeveI

of sIeaze, even for you.

I hope you die in one

of her casuaI pantsuits.''

Oh, my God, that was so mean.

Miss Lewis caIIed. She said,

''I hope you choke on your own biIe...

...you pretentious, conniving snake.''

-Maybe I shouId read them myseIf.

-Good.

Oh, great.

-Miss Rink's Iine.

-Put that little b*tch on the phone now.

PIease don't take that tone.

I'm just her assistant.

Tell her to call Todd.

''Sweet bottom, you seem uptight.

Let me come over and give you my....''

-Yes.

-AIex is on Iine one, Miss Rink.

Oh, gag me. Can you

please tell him I'm busy?

Okay, but he wants to know

what time wouId be good for dinner.

How about in 1 0 ziIIion years?

Ask him how that works.

-Okay, I'll ask.

-Okay.

-Yeah?

-I'm sorry to bother you again.

-Pete Hansen is here to see you.

-Who?

Tracy from the

art department's husband.

Oh, okay. Sure.

I was just dropping off Tracy's Iunch,

thought I'd say heIIo.

You brought Tracy her Iunch?

That's so sw--

What are you doing?

What's wrong, pooky?

''Pooky''?

Pukey. You're married,

and to a girI I work with.

WeII, that didn't stop us from rattIing

some desk drawers Ioose Iast week.

So come on.

Lie down and take a memo.

Listen, hire the best photographer,

and I don't want Jenna to find out.

-No. Roger that.

-Okay?

God, what is up with her IateIy,

anyway? I mean, she seems so Iost.

I have no idea. I'm getting

so sick of having her around...

...with this crazy new act

she has going on.

You know how she stoIe

CharIotte's idea and then fired her?

I say we go ahead

with our own presentation...

...and Iet her faII on her ass.

Oh, God, yeah.

Okay, you're not Cajun.

-Wanna go for a waIk?

-Sure.

I stiII can't beIieve

you're getting married.

In two weeks.

Is she your souI mate, Wendy?

My souI mate? I don't know if I beIieve

in those. I think that's kind of naive.

But you get goose bumps

when you're around her...

...and butterfIies?

No, I haven't gotten crazy Iike that

about a girI since high schooI.

Matty.

What--? What happened to us?

I mean, how come

we never stayed friends?

I don't know. I forget.

No, what happened?

I don't know. I can pretty much

peg it to your 1 3th birthday party...

...when you were pIaying that game.

Spin the Rapist?

Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Everybody ditched.

And that is the Iast thing I remember.

We don't have to get into this.

It's a Iong time ago.

-It reaIIy doesn't matter anymore.

-It matters to me.

Just teII me.

You came out of the cIoset...

...and I started to sing

my birthday song to you.

And then you picked up

and threw at me...

...with impressive force, I might add...

...the dream house that I spent

three weeks buiIding for you.

And then you just stopped

being my friend...

...and you never spoke to me

again after that, ever.

I'm so sorry.

Forget it, Jenna. It was a Iong

time ago. It doesn't matter.

Matt, stop being so nice to me.

I don't deserve it.

Do you know what

kind of person I am now?

Do you know who I am right now? I....

I don't have any reaI friends. I....

I did something bad

with a married guy.

I don't taIk to my mom and dad.

I'm not a nice person.

And the thing is...

...I'm not 1 3 anymore.

Jenna.

Behind you.

Oh, it's good to be home.

-Daddy.

-Jenna?

What in the worId?

-Sweetheart.

-I missed you guys so much.

Are you aII right?

Mom.

Do you ever wish you couId go back...

...Iike to another time?

I wouIdn't mind giving back

some of these wrinkIes.

Okay.

If you were given one do-over,

anything in your Iife, what wouId it be?

Nothing.

-ReaIIy?

-ReaIIy.

But did you ever make

a big mistake?

Or a huge one that couId

change your Iife? What about that?

WeII, Jenna, I know

I made a Iot of mistakes...

...but I don't regret

making any of them.

How come?

Because if I hadn't have

made them...

...I wouIdn't have Iearned

how to make things right.

I'm sorry I missed Iast Christmas.

Carrie, I'm heading out, okay?

I'm so exhausted.

-Jenna's working Iate.

-She has been.

-Hey.

-Hey.

I was gonna stop by your office.

I tried to caII you a bunch of times.

-I didn't get any messages.

-I was in a hurry.

But I did try to reach you.

I actuaIIy wanted to taIk to you

about this whoIe redesign thing.

I hope you don't mind, but I've been

working on something on my own.

It's reaIIy Iast-minute.

-I hope you don't mind.

-No, of course not...

...because I'm doing the same thing.

-Hey, Jenna.

-Hey.

Someone's got

a big photo shoot going on.

-Yeah.

-What's happening?

-Did you bring them?

-Oh, yeah, I got a few.

-What are you doing?

-I'm hiring you.

ActuaIIy, Poise

is hiring you for the week.

Here.

This is the first haIf.

The rest when we finish.

I couId reaIIy use this, but you

don't need to do me any favors.

I'm asking you to do me a favor.

I Iove your work.

I hope you'II do this with me.

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