2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams Page #6

Synopsis: When this year's round of unsuspecting Northerners fail to show up for their annual Guts N' Glory Jamboree, the residents of Pleasant Valley take their cannibalistic carnival on the road and head to Iowa where they encounter spoiled heiresses Rome & Tina Sheraton and the cast and crew of their "Road Rascals" reality show. Performing "The Bloodiest Show on Earth", our Southern Maniacs prove more than ratings killers.
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director(s): Tim Sullivan
Production: First Look Studios
 
IMDB:
3.2
R
Year:
2010
84 min
326 Views


Okey-dokey,

now. One.

Oh, no, you

girls despise me.

Why can't you see me

like I see you?

Three

Oops.

Agh!

Ah I

Oh my God!

You stupid little fake tittied,

no talented, trust fund sluts!

Just f*** off!

But you stepped on Biscuit!

Can I make

myself any clearer?

Just go!

Just wait 'till the network

hears about this

Yeah, we would never

f*** you anyway.

Yeah!

Ugh!

Yoo-hoo.

Uh, uh, uh.

What the f***?

Looking for

the Underground Railroad?

Hey, Granny.

Do you think the Mayor would mind if

we kept that beaner boy to ourselves?

I don't know, sweetie. I'd rather

kill him than f*** him any day.

Sh, sh, sh.

Do you

hear something?

No.

# Rock a-bye baby,

On the tree top #

# When the wind blows #

# The cradle will rock #

# When the bough breaks

The cradle will fall #

# And down will come baby #

# Cradle and all I #

I always knew

those little c*nts

would be the end of me.

Biscuit's really

dead meat, huh?

Yes, sweetie.

She really is.

We're dead meat,

too, aren't we?

No, Romy, we're gonna be okay. Trust me.

That's what you said the time

we got crabs tag teaming K-Jay.

Whoopsle-dalsy I

Oh.

I thought the Mayor

said killing Mexicans

didn't count

towards the total.

No, they don't deary.

They ain't North, they

ain't South, they just ain't.

But there's nothing wrong

with a little sport killing.

So long as it puts

food on the table.

It must've

been a squirrel.

Come on along, now.

Peekaboo.

Ah!

Can't you Northern folks

do nothing right?

Tonight at dinner,

yet again,

caught Granny picking

a little too tenderly

on a dark part

of her brisket.

Got anything

to say about that, boy?

Ugh!

I ain't

nobody's boy.

Not even yours.

Maybe so, Crow.

Would it be too hard just

to, uh, stick to your chores?

Ah!

I do stick

to my chores,

as much as I find

them distasteful,

And which one of you are too

tired from ploughing the fields,

or splitting

the wood,

you can't

deny that.

Tell me, Is there one amongst ya',

one, amongst ya'

willing to hit it when

there's blood on the conch?

Well, I know

how to plow.

and I know

how to split,

but you sure have some

very satisfied b*tches

in your Pleasant Valley,

thank you very much.

Man's got a point.

Shoot, Daddy, I think I

made the rope too long.

You stupid ass

white mother f***ers

you just wait until Al Sharpton

gets a wind of this sh*t.

I'll own everything

in this albino circus.

including that fake ass, dumb

ass, stuffed mother f***ing sheep?

Yeah? When

pigs fly.

And the fat

lady sings.

And there's a black

man in the White House.

Where the f*** have you

mother f***ers been at?

Down South!

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Fools them every time!

Yee-haw!

Relax.

Everything's gonna

be just fine.

There's nobody here

but us ladles.

Please help me.

Please, help me. Please.

You gotta

help me, please.

Folks like my kin,

they can't fathom

the modern woman.

They wanna keep us

all caged up.

Cage our bodies,

our passions-

That's right, momma!

Oh, no, no.

I hear there's

a cherry in the center.

Ah!

Ugh!

H m. Cider red, always

makes my pink wet.

Oh, my God, Tina.

We're back

to where we started.

Please, just

go away!

Ah!

Spread the red.

I'm cold.

Get the bus, Let's take it outta here.

You try to start it,

I'll stand guard.

Okay.

Jesuz!

It's "Jesus", b*tch.

Agh!

Why Isn't It working?

Shut up, babe. Got some sh*t under here.

Try the key!

Like this?

Anything?

Nope. Nada.

I am I doing

this right?

Can't you hot

wire this thing?

Yo, b*tch, I went to

film school, not prison.

Uh-oh.

Oh, sh*t.

Do you think

they're mad at us?

We offered

the entertainment,

sport, a chance to redeem

some sense of honor,

for the atrocities

committed by their ancestors.

And they play along

by running away.

Oh, you wanna play?

F***, I'll play!

Gentleman to gentleman?

Yeah, If that's

what you call yourself.

Bring it on!

Charge!

Go on, Tinal Go

Make It start I

Go

I can't

Tina, come on

Come on

Oh, start

Come on!

Do your best

Colonel Cracker.

Yeah.

Come on.

Oh, my God!

Get off me!

Just wait

F***

Hurry

I was gonna let you go, seeing your

kind don't count towards the total.

Brown or white,

you're a yank to me.

Ugh

Ah!

Go!

Go engine, go

Go, start

Agh!

Brown or white beats

your one-eyed freak show.

Ah

Oh, now we're playing.

Ah!

Yankee scum! Ah!

Go, Tina, go!

Go

Walt, Romy, It's

Jesus, he'll save us

Can you fix it?

Go ahead,

try It now.

Come on, come on I Start I

Start I Why won't you start?

It's turning

Come on, Jesus.

Get on the bus

Go Go

Puta, what the f***

are you welting for?

Hey, Two-Eyes.

Suck my Dixie.

Agh!

Whoo-whee!

shall rest 'til

all obey.

Don't turn it off,

you stupid b*tch!

But it just

killed Jesus!

Let's finish this.

Oh! Ah!

F***

Keys. Please.

F*** you.

Turn It on

Come here.

Go!

Ah!

I'm going!

Tina, go!

Rome, I'm going!

I'm going!

Ugh!

Get us outta here!

Just go.

It's over, Romy.

It's over.

I can't believe I've ever decided

to make this crap show with you!

You're so f***ing

annoying! You're so wrong!

F*** you, b*tch!

You know what? I killed

your f***ing beloved Biscuit!

Really? Well, I'm the one

who snorted your 8-ball.

F***ing b*tch

C*nt!

Damn Yankees.

Now what,

Bucky?

H m. Ah!

Rufus, is this

contraption working?

It's 12-4, Daddy.

Howdy, folks!

George W. Buckman here,

inviting you to come to the

Pleasant Valley Traveling Jamboree!

We got it all folks,

we got singin',

we got dancing',

we got games,

Uh, I'm not too

sure about this.

But most of all we got some

real nice mouthwatering Barbecue.

Does that mean we have to go

through this sh*t again next year?

[Buckman] Don't forget

to bring the kids,

especially the chubby ones,

portly always gets In for free.

Just look for the detour

sign off the main road.

We'll be welting. So come on down

and get a taste of the old South.

And let the old South

get a taste of you.

Come on, Granny,

keep pushing.

Oh, oh, oh.

Keep pushing.

I am pushing, you morons.

Breathel

I think I see

something coming.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh!

Come on, Granny,

keep pushing.

Ma-ma-ma.

I see it's

here coming.

Ugh.

It's a-

What is it?

A negro?

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes

Chris Kobin

Chris Kobin is a screenwriter and film producer living in Los Angeles, California. more…

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