200 Cigarettes Page #5

I'm trying to get a beer.

Val, Val, it's those guys!

It's them.

They're coming over here!

Oh, God, those are them?

Come on!

Oh, sh*t! Move it. Excuse me.

We're sorry.

Hurry up!

Over there.

There's the door. Come on!

Jesus, Stephie!

Hey. Aah!

[Crash]

Come on! Come on!

Aah!

Aah!

Oh! Aah!

We're f***ed.

Oh, my God.

Oh, hey, how you doing?

Wow, it's kind of, uh,

hot in there, huh?

We thought we'd come out here

and get some air and just, um,

and, uh, take this opportunity

to introduce ourselves.

My name's Tom. This is Dave.

And, uh... hey, man,

he has no manners.

Show the ladies what

we've got for them, bro.

Mmm.

Beverages. Beer.

[Sizzling]

Ha ha.

Jack, you're doing it again.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's just, uh,

you know, what can I say?

This is... This is

turning out to be

a pretty unusual evening.

Unusual?

How?

Well, unusual, um,

in no, uh,

particular way. Look...

Um, Cindy, I hate

to press a point here,

but I keep thinking

about what you said earlier

about last night being

your first time and everything.

What about it?

I wonder, you know, why me?

You know, what... what

was it about me

in particular, OK?

Being specific,

that made you decide to,

you know.

Oh, yeah, OK, yeah, right.

It's, um...

Why did I choose you?

Mmm...

Drawing a blank.

That's... That's OK, drawing a...

You know that they say,

uh, blanks are, um...

Look, uh, as an actor,

Cindy, I find myself

very intrigued

by people's motivations.

Mm-hmm.

Look, you're...

you're a very attractive girl.

You must have had

lots of opportunities.

Especially as pretty as you are,

I'm surprised it hasn't

happened by accident,

so a guy has to wonder...

what makes him so great?

Well, one thing I remember

about last night was...

Yes.

That you were

probably the most...

The most what?

Oh, God.

You OK?

Here, drink some water.

- Oh, God.

- Drink!

- Drink it!

- [Glass Dings]

- Ow!

- Here, no.

Uh, that'll make it worse.

Have some wine.

Is it better?

You probably ate

one of those chilies.

No, it was so big.

Try to keep it in your mouth.

It was so big.

I thought it was okra.

Okra's brown.

What, are you OK?

Mmm!

I'll be... fine.

Eww!

I'll be OK.

Oh!

It's all right.

It's all right.

It's all right.

This happens every day.

I'm sorry.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh.

I'll be right back.

That is fine! No problem.

It happens here every night.

The most what?

No, I'm not going to shut up.

I have a right to know.

I have a right to know

why you won't f*** me, Kevin.

Lucy, do you want to f***?

Because if you really,

really want to f***,

we'll f***, OK?

You don't think I'm serious.

How long have we known each other?

In the... ln the 5 years

we've known each other,

have you once even ever

considered having sex with me?

Apart from tonight.

You don't think

I'm attracted to you.

I don't think you're attracted

to half the men you sleep with.

You think I'm a slut!

What? No.

Yeah, you think I'm a big slut.

I don't think you're a slut.

A... A stanky, little ho maybe,

but never a slut.

The truth is you're afraid.

What? I'm afraid.

I'm, yeah, OK, you...

I feel so naked right now.

I'm totally afraid.

It is so obvious.

And so ridiculous.

Prove it.

I don't have to prove anything.

I dare you.

Kevin, I dare you to f*** me.

What? So what, now?

You want to go

to some smelly bathroom

and, uh, have loveless

New Year's sex

in the stench of air freshener?

Unless you're chicken.

So we got to go back to the club

to deliver this package

to my friend Tony.

Is that cool?

Yeah, it's cool.

So, uh, what's

in this package anyway?

It's, uh...

Well, it's, uh,

you know, it's uh,

it's like I said,

it's for my friend Tony.

Oh, yeah? It's for Tony?

All right.

Well, I'm leaving.

Where you going?

I'm going to the train station

to get out of here before

these jerks get us killed.

You wanted to hang out

with the bands, right?

These guys are musicians.

They're roadies, Val.

There's a little difference.

I didn't want to have

to tell you this

'cause I know

you're gonna spaz out,

but the last train for Ronkonkoma

left an hour ago.

Are you telling me we're

stranded here for the night?

We gotta book. You coming?

Yeah, we're coming.

[Whispers]

Heroin.

Oh, Stephie, you know?

Caitlyn, I'm warning you,

keep your slutty hands

off my bartender.

He's not your bartender.

He's our bartender.

Caitlyn, your skirt's been

over your head for hours.

Jesus, like it's my fault

I'm irresistible to men.

Look, he wants me.

Not you, me.

You think so?

Yeah, I do think so.

Hey, guys.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Listen, I think it's still

a bit early for this party.

What do you say we

go get some cocktails?

Eric:
For some reason,

every single woman

I go out with

ends up breaking up with me.

I mean, why is that, Monica?

I don't know.

Lots of reasons probably.

Yeah, right.

Yeah,

it's always lots of reasons.

I've never got a straight answer

out of one of you.

Like you...

What was your reason?

Oh, really, Eric, who remembers?

You don't remember?

It was only 6 months ago.

Well, 6 months is a long time.

No, 6 months is nothing!

Jesus, Eric, relax.

OK, fine. You don't remember

the lame excuse

you gave me 6 months ago

for breaking up with me.

I'll tell you.

You like me as a friend,

but not as a boyfriend,

even though

you found me attractive.

That's not lame.

It makes no sense whatsoever.

I think it makes sense.

See? That's what

I'm talking about.

That's what I have

to deal with.

These insane leaps of reasoning.

And they sound logical at first,

until later.

Until you go home, sit down,

and think about them.

And then it's like...

what?

Really, Eric, you just

got to calm down.

Look, all I'm asking for

is the truth.

If you want to break up

with me, fine.

Just tell me the reason why.

Is that too much to ask?

I'm stupid.

What are you doing?

I'm going home.

But you just got here.

Eric, please, please,

don't do this. Don't go.

OK, fine, I won't go home.

Tell me the truth

and I'll stay.

What?

Tell me the real reason

you broke up with me

and I'll stay.

OK, OK, OK, OK,

I'll do it. Oh, God!

I can't speak for Bridget

or any of the others...

Fine.

But for me, just for me.

The truth is

I broke up with you

because you were the worst lover

I ever had in my life.

What?

I'm serious.

Even counting high school,

it was... it was bad.

Ow! [Grunting]

What are you doing?

The dress.

What's wrong with it?

The zipper's stuck.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

[Zipper Unzips]

Damn, baby.

? Do that to me one more time?

? Once is never enough?

- ? With a man like you?

- Ow!

I'm all right. You OK?

I'm fine.

? Do that to me one more time?

[Zipper Unzips]

? Oh?

? Kiss me?

? Like you just did?

We're just having fun.

[Door Opens]

? Oh, baby?

- [Door Closes]

- [Footsteps]

Someone's coming.

? Do that to me once again?

Ellie:
Kevin?

Hello, Kevin.

I recognize your shoes.

I bought them for you, remember?

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