40 the Hard Way Page #3

You can stay at my house with me.

- At your house?

- Do you like the beach?

What we talked about, the jizzball thing?

Yeah. Look, um...

- Would you sign this? To Norma?

- Not a problem. Absolutely.

(both) Norma.

Norma.

Bang, bang...

...Nick Lang.

Thank you. Thank you.

- If there's anything we can do...

- You're doing it.

Thanks. OK.

Thanks, John.

"Bang, bang"?

Get my wife on the phone, would you?

Lieutenant, I was thinking.

I don't really need the gun.

It's probably better

to wait a couple of days...

...until I get this cop thing down pat.

- What have you got?

Coroner's report on that guy

the Party Crasher took out.

Of course, I'm off the case.

Safety bullets, hollow points.

That figures.

Custom-made. Look at this thing!

Looks like that Darth Vader thing

we took off the Dead Romeos.

Yeah. Are they buying from

the same guy the Party Crasher is?

- Check this.

- Might have to ask the Dead Romeos.

- Not me, of course. I'm off the case.

- Sorry to hear it.

I'll be introducing my new partner, Ray

Casanov, to the pleasures of a frog dog.

Frog dog, Ray! Mmm, tasty!

- Frog dog?

- Ribbet!

(Moss) Look at this. I'm moving

to Florida, I swear to God.

Get outta the way!

I guess cops can drive

as fast as they want, huh?

Look, Moss, let's get

on the same page here, OK?

I'm sensing that you're not

completely happy with this situation.

That's fine, OK? Cos I'm here

for one reason only.

You are the best. You're a heavyweight.

You're a Yoda among cops.

You know Yoda?

Little guy, big ears, real smart.

So it doesn't matter what you think of me,

cos I have respect for you.

And that is where I'm coming from.

Look, dickwad, I don't give

a rat's ass where you're coming from.

- I just care about where you're going.

- Good, we're talking.

Where do I drop you off?

Where are you staying?

- Give me a name.

- I'm staying with you.

Maybe when my a**hole

learns to chew gum.

- I thought this was arranged.

- Nobody arranged jackshit with me.

You know, a lot of people would be

excited to have Nick Lang in their home.

I'll drop you off at their place.

- Listen.

- No!

You listen, you egomaniacal cockroach!

I got yanked off a case so

you could be a cop groupie...

...and now you wanna live in my house?

I got a job to do. I don't have time for

anybody in my house, this car, my life...

...who isn't a) a cop

or b) the Party Crasher. Got it?

So that's what this is about.

You're still after this guy.

Give me the name of a hotel or I bounce

your ass out at the next light.

I dunno. Do you think

that's a good idea?

I don't think Captain Brix

is gonna like it.

I mean, us being separated,

you being back on the case.

Although I'm not

gonna mention anything...

...because if you can't trust

your partner, who can you trust?

(dogs barking)

(people arguing)

- What is that?

- It's a rubber gun. I got it from props.

It'll help me get into character

until I get a gun.

Great. Dickless Tracy.

(arguing continues)

Hey, stay here.

Hey, how come I can't come with you?

Stay.

I sit and roll over, too.

Oh, man.

Oh, this is beautiful.

This is amazing.

Swish.

OK... and tilt.

And...

Huh!

I may have to kill you later.

(coughs)

Hey.

And I looked out, and he was

wearing a Mr T starter kit.

You hear this crazy ho?

Yo, kill that dumb slut!

Police!

Get over there. Don't f***in' move!

Let's reacquaint ourselves.

I'm Lieutenant John Moss.

For those of you with short attention

spans, you are the Dead Romeos.

Not us, Lieutenant.

We a reading group.

(laughter)

- Shut up!

- Damn, man.

Reading group, huh? These don't

look like the classics to me.

Those are just shower gifts, homeboy.

I ain't your homeboy, OK?

You wanna graduate

from high school, get decent jobs.

Try white-collar crime,

that's where the real money is.

OK, pop quiz.

There is a shooter out there.

He's using hollow-point safety slugs

in a retooled. 475...

...beefed-up gun barrel, laser sight.

Kinda like the gun I took off

one of you shits at the B&K Liquors.

- It wasn't us, man.

- Shh.

Yo, yo. I think the dude

thinks he's Babe Ruth.

This is a custom-made gun. It takes

a specialist to make such a gun.

- I need a name.

- We don't know nothin'.

- Get outta the damn way!

- I'm sorry, man.

I couldn't hear that name with the TV.

Joe Gunn is back in "Smoking Gunn II".

Nick Lang is once again Joe Gunn

who hates bad guys, loves bad girls.

- Hey, Nick Lang. He's bad. Real bad!

- Nick Lang is a f*ggot.

Yeah, I'm very into

environmental causes.

I think a lot of people don't know this.

All of my movies...

...are shot on biodegradable film stock.

Hey, Ange. It's me, Nickie. Ange,

you're never gonna believe where I am.

(# rap on truck radio)

No, not the Russian Tea Room.

Do me a favour, don't even guess.

I'm in a ghetto.

No, no, it's not a tour.

Ange, I'm with Moss.

I'm already in the middle of a murder

investigation. Can you believe that?

I'm gonna get this part. I'm soaking

this up. You gotta see this place.

It's, like, the grit, the dirt, the crime,

the human drama - it's all around you.

You can feel it in the air.

Hey! Hey! I need that phone!

I'm calling a cop. You know

there's a cop right inside there.

Come on.

Sh*t.

Just hang it up, OK? It's on my bill.

Just... sh*t!

Name, name. Come on, name.

- Witherspoon.

- Are you crazy?

(shouts of protest)

Shut up! Shut up!

- Excuse me, I couldn't hear you. Who?

- I said the dude's name is Witherspoon.

- Where?

- He moves around. Works out of a van.

- He sells guns, whatever kind you want.

- (Lang) Moss!

John, I've been looking

all over for you.

They stole my cellular phone

and I think it mighta been a gang.

- Hi, guys. Sorry to interrupt.

- I told you to wait in the car.

- That kid looks just like Nick Lang.

- Only shorter, right?

- No, whiter.

- (laughter)

Look, John, I'm sorry. It's just

that they're real pissed off and...

- I said wait in the car.

- Oh, great.

(gunshots)

Get down!

Get off my foot!

- I don't see no blood.

- Ah, chill, man.

Oh, sh*t!

(Lang) I got to find my...

I think I lost a contact out there.

You told them I was in there? You led

'em to a rival gang, and to me?

- I was trying to help.

- Don't help me. I had to call this in.

10-4.

Over a dozen cops are coming

and I gotta explain...

...what you were doing

in a gang war, jackoff!

Was that great?

I knew they were a gang.

They had that kind of gang look.

I got a knack for this.

You think you got a knack?

What was the licence plate of the car?

That was, uh... a New York plate.

They're blue, right?

You notice something a little

different about our car?

- They stole my bags!

- You shoulda locked 'em in the trunk.

You know, all my clothes were

in those bags. All my stuff!

At least they didn't steal your rubber gun.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Look at this. Look at this.

This could be a clue.

I think they're in this bar.

- So?

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