44 Inch Chest Page #3

- Stop it, Colin.

- Oh, that's right.

Stick up for the c*nt,

'cause you're on his side,

side of the "guy. "

Well, let me tell you

something, Liz,

and mark my f***ing words,

I will tear the flesh

off his face with my teeth

and stick it

in your f***ing handbag.

- Right, that's it.

I'm going.

We'll talk later.

- Where d'you think

you're going?

You ain't going nowhere.

You think you can say that to me

and just go?

Leave me with that?

Stick a bomb in my brain

and just go?

Well, you can't.

Tell me his f***ing name.

I caught her

right on the f***ing chin.

Her head...

bounced off the door frame.

She fell, looking at me.

- Good boy.

- Good bou.

Not good boy.

Not good boy.

I hit her so hard.

I heard her teeth rattle

in her f***ing head.

She was laying there.

She wouldn't look at me.

"Tell me.

Tell me," I said.

"Tell me his f***ing name. "

But she wouldn't look at me.

- Well, she wouldn't,

would she?

She couldn't, could she?

- Too ashamed.

- I grabbed her by the throat,

punched her.

"Tell me. "

Punched her.

"Tell me his f***ing name. "

She said it.

She told me.

- Just like that?

- Brazen

f***ing audacity.

- Cheeky c*nt.

- Taking the piss, mate.

- Just like that,

right in the heart.

- Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi.

- Straight in the heart.

- You hearing this?

What you've done?

What you're responsible for?

You proud of yourself?

Was it worth it?

All this pain?

- F***ed his wife.

F***ed his f***ing wife.

You f***ing wife-f***er, you.

You f***ed his f***ing wife,

you wife-f***ing c*nt.

Another man's wife.

You stupid?

Are you f***ing thick,

you c*nt?

F*** another man's wife?

You don't do that.

You do that,

it ends in this.

This.

This is where it ends.

You listening?

Are you hearing me?

Shitter.

Little shitter.

- You should have got

your own f***ing wife to f***.

- You're in deep sh*t, mate.

You're in

the worst possible place

a man can find himself.

When d'you wanna do this,

Colin, eh?

Come on.

When we doing it?

Come on.

It's time, innit?

Get it f***ing done.

What d'you reckon, eh?

Come on.

My blood's f***ing up.

What we saying?

Yes? No?

What?

Col?

It's up to you, mate.

You're the one in the c*nt hat.

- It's about time, Colin.

- Get the f***er out here.

- Well?

- I got to find her.

- Well, don't look at me.

- What age is Liz, Arch?

- She's 42.

- Ah, 44.

- F***ing hell,

she looks good for 44.

- How would you know?

- Peanut, would you like me

to spank uour bonu arse?

- Gorgeous woman.

Glamorous.

Vivacious.

Sparkling.

- You're not wrong.

- Beautiful face.

- Oh, lovely.

- It's a shame.

- That it is.

- She could be anywhere!

- Nah, that was Tommy Yardley,

stouter of the two.

He couldn't drive.

- Never stopped him, though,

did it?

- Beard?

- Yeah, that's him.

- Poof?

- No.

Who are you thinking of?

- He's thinking of Faraday.

He's been dead years.

- Faradau.

He was all right.

He was a gentle giant.

- He was only 5'4".

- I f***ed him back in the '80s.

I'm telling uou,

he was a gentle giant.

- Did ua?

I didn't know that.

- Well, you do now.

- He was a very shy man.

I liked him.

- No, it's not that c*nt

I'm thinking of.

It was that other c*nt,

the c*nt with the ears,

pen and inked

something terrible.

- That's Dougie Clark,

the human stink bomb.

- I got a bone to pick

with that c*nt.

- You can't get close enough,

though, can uou?

- No, not without a gas mask.

- Ain't he heard of a bath, eh?

An invention called a bath?

Can you imagine

under his foreskin?

- Oh, f***ing hell, please.

Gonna make me sick.

- You wouldn't go there for

your summer holidays, would you?

Imagine that.

F*** me.

- Just a time when we

It ain't as if we didn't f***.

We did.

Only just last week,

last Thursday.

I mean, she wanted to.

She instigated it.

She came.

Aye, she did.

In fact, I didn't,

but it don't matter.

That's not what it's about.

It's about being close,

about warmth,

about being

a normal married couple.

I mean, why would she do that?

Why flush it all down

the f***ing toilet?

Why?

What a waste of time, energy,

everything.

What's it mean?

I mean, surely marriage

is something.

I mean, what's it all about?

I mean,

what's the f***ing point?

good times and bad,

down the f***ing plug hole,

up the f***ing Suwannee, eh?

I mean, what are they gonna say?

What am I gonna tell 'em?

I mean, what does one

tell the children?

F***ing hell.

Mu poor babies,

your mother's a whore.

I can't bear it.

I can't breathe.

I'm serious.

- Colin, stop it.

- I can't.

Can't breathe.

- No, you're just panicking.

- Help me.

- Calm down, mate,

just calm down.

You'll be all right.

- Someone!

- Just breathe.

- Is he all right?

- This is shameful.

Get a grip, you c*nt!

- Mercy.

- Colin!

- Colin.

Look at me.

- That's it.

That's it.

- Yeah, talk him down, Meredith.

- You're all right, mate.

You're all right.

That's it.

Easy does it.

F***ing hell.

- Listen to me.

You're all right, all right?

You're all right, right?

Listen to me.

You're a good man.

Got that?

Never forget that.

Cling to that.

You listening to me?

You've done nothing wrong.

You've been wronged.

You're in the right.

Remember that, right?

Right,

now, there's characters

like that handsome,

young macho boy.

- Easy. Easy.

Characters like that

will come along to test you,

to make you doubt yourself,

to hate yourself,

to turn your life upside down,

but it's times like this,

you find out who you are.

You listening to me?

You getting this?

- Yeah.

- Listen to me.

You don't disgust me.

You're not pathetic.

You're not weak.

You're normal.

You're human,

and humans hurt.

Right?

- That's right.

- Have you had this, Meredith?

- Me?

No, but I'm quite lucky.

I'm not

I'm different to you.

I don't share your emotions.

I don't love like you do.

Maybe I should be a family man,

but I'm not.

With me, sex is sex,

no more, no less,

cold, hard, dark, and sweaty,

sudden, excessive.

When I shoot my wad,

I leave the room.

Put mu coat on,

and I leave the room.

No thank-yous.

No "I really enjoyed that. "

I leave the room,

and I don't go back.

But I can afford to do that.

I've got that luxuru

'cause I'm charismatic.

People are drawn to me.

Now, maybe I'm cowardly,

but I choose to live my life

without entanglements,

without turmoil.

With me, it's the five Fs:

find 'em, follow 'em,

finger 'em, f*** 'em,

forget 'em.

But uou possess

different qualities, Colin.

That's what makes you you.

You're more

sharing "stroke" caring.

Your capacity to love

leaves you vulnerable,

but you should be proud of that.

It means you care.

You should be proud.

- Proud?

- Proud, that's what

you should be, proud.

- Why?

- 'Cause that's what

uou should be.

- Proud, you f***ing pilchard,

proud.

Have a bit of pride.

- What would you do?

- About what?

- Well, everything,

mu situation.

- Well, I'd prioritize.

I mean, if it was me,

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