4th Man Out Page #7

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Seriously?

Remember, don't make

eye contact with anyone.

Never leave each other's sight.

No matter what.

Wait for us.

Can we get four buds?

Uh, actually, can you make

those vodka sodas?

We're in a gay bar.

Vodka sodas it is.

There's actually

some girls here.

We didn't come

all the way downtown

for you to be looking at girls.

Yeah, man. You better

get at least eight dudes'

phone numbers tonight,

and they better

be f***ing adorable.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

First time

in a... okay. Nice.

Act like you've

been there before, boys.

Uh, should we dance?

Um, no. I'm good.

Aw man, how are you going

to meet anybody

with your back

up against the bar?

Let's go.

I'll hold down. Make

sure no one roofies us.

So much for sticking together.

Come on, baby.

Bring your "a" game.

It's weird.

- Like?

- Relax.

Feel the groove, man.

There we go.

Yeah? Okay.

- You look hot.

- All right, thanks.

You look really, really good.

- Shake your dick, let's go.

- All right.

Show him how it's done, man.

Show him how it's done.

Whoa.

There you go.

Shot, please.

Wait for me, guys.

- Adam?

- Hi, what are you doing here?

- Hi.

- Are you-wait one second.

Um, Chris.

- Hey.

- What are you doing here?

I'm here with my brother

and his boyfriend.

And they' re really hitting

it off with your friend.

They sure are.

Look, the voicemail

that I left you...

- What?

- The voicemail I left the other night.

I'm sorry, I don't know what...

It's fine.

Don't worry about it.

Let's just dance.

Okay.

So that's the last time

I order a hotdog in a gay bar.

So how was your guys'

fist time in a gay bar?

I was just dancing.

That is all.

Honestly, I thought

it'd be a lot gayer.

I'm kinda disappointed.

It was good.

It was really good.

It was good.

So how'd you two meet?

Actually we worked at the

same office for years.

I was already out to everyone

there, Steve wasn't.

So things developed

rather slowly.

Eight months of asking

to borrow his hole-puncher,

I thought he'd get the hint.

So there's just one thing

that I still can't wrap

my head around...

How dues a gay man let his

sister walk out in public

with a Fanny pack on?

What?

- A lot of testosterone.

- Nice.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Tracy.

I can do better, trust me.

Wait, what did you call me?

- Tracy.

- Who's Tracy?

Hmm?

Who isn't Tracy?

Okay, I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

Trainy, Tracy, Trainy.

Just doesn't...

It's so funny.

Trainy? You think that

my name is Trainy?

He's kidding.

He does... he does that.

Like calls

people "Trainy."

- Hey Trainy.

- He called me train for five years.

He called me Trainy

tranny when I came out.

- He's a train guy.

- Yeah.

Wait, so what is my name?

Could we have the check?

I love this part.

Yeah, me too.

That guy's as ugly as you.

Hey, shut up.

Tricia.

Maybe it's tricia.

Maybe.

Should I text her that?

No, it's like 4am.

Uh, yeah.

You're right.

Only bad things can happen.

You get any dudes'

numbers tonight?

- No.

- What?

I was too busy dancing

with you guys.

Oh my god.

We were totally

cockblocking you.

Yeah, it's okay.

I had a really fun time.

Yeah, me too.

Me too.

The f***, man?

I thought you were...

Oh man, I'm sorry.

- I should go.

- No man, don't go.

I'm sorry, I was...

I'm drunk.

I thought... you don't...

Uh, Chris?

What's happening?

Just give me a minute.

What's wrong with it?

Nothing's wrong with it.

Just stop talking,

- you're making it worse.

- I'm sorry.

I've just never been

with a man who...

A man who what?

I'm a little drunk.

Just...

Ahem...

Maybe if we put it

in your mouth...

No, it's not

your f***ing birthday.

Just suck on it.

- Why don't you have Adam suck it?

Jesus.

F*** you.

Wha...

I was just joking.

- Why are you so mad?

- I'm not mad.

Wait. He didn't,

did he?

No, he didn't.

Did Adam suck your cock?

No he didn't f***ing

suck my dick.

Jesus Christ.

- And you liked it, didn't you?

No, just stop talking about it.

How 'bout that?

Fine.

You have one new voice message.

First voice message.

Hey Chris, it's me.

I can't believe that happened.

I'm so f***ing sorry,

I'm an idiot.

I'm... I was drunk.

And I just...

I don't know what I thought

but can you just

call me back, please?

Message deleted.

Hey man, where the f*** are you?

We're playing

flag football at four.

Uh, yeah, I don't know, man.

Is Chris gonna be there?

What? What's going

on with you two?

He asked me the same thing?

Well, what'd you say?

I said, "yeah. Our undefeated

season is on the line."

Yeah. Yeah,

I'll totally...

Yeah, man.

Okay. See you then.

You made a career

of composure

she needs you to steer,

she's hungover

he needs you to hear

listen closer

it's time

to come down

mm

and all the things

you've accomplished

they cover the length

of your office

where I am the wall,

worn out worthless

I lean on the ground

Victor

you are not

who you said you were

you said you were

when we met

mm

winner

you are losing

your loved ones

oh, your loved ones

chip by chip,

bet by bet

- I'm really glad you called.

- Yeah.

What are you doing

for the fourth of July?

'Cause you should come over.

My wife makes the most

amazing potato salad.

And I could totally sneak

some down to you

after the fireworks.

Oh... I don't know. I think

I'm gonna go to a party.

Okay, really? 'Cause you

don't sound so sure.

Yeah, it's just...

I usually go with Chris,

my ex-fiance.

But I don't know.

I don't think he wants me there.

Okay.

What, does he own you?

- He owns you?

- No.

Who cares what he thinks.

I do.

So you've still got it real bad

for this guy, don't you?

He must really know

how to get you off good.

No, man. Why? No. Not

everything's about sex.

Okay, then what's it about?

I miss him.

Does he know how you feel?

'Cause you gotta communicate.

Communication is the key to

any healthy relationship

oh really?

And how would you know?

How would I know? I've been

happily married for 17 years.

That's how I'd know.

What do you say

we go in the bathroom

and suck each other off?

It smells really good in here.

What did you guys

have for dinner?

Is that what you came over

at 10:
00 at night

to talk about?

I'm really sorry

if you're ashamed of me.

Is that what you think?

We're ashamed of you?

I'm not ashamed of you.

I'm pissed off.

You kept a whole part

of your life from us.

How long have you known?

I don't know, like...

- Like ten years.

- Ten years?

Oh my god.

I should've known.

A mother should

know these things.

I didn't even know.

I just...

I just knew

that I felt different.

And I didn't know

why b*obs were so cool.

You still could've told me.

I wanted to, but I just...

You always mentioned

girlfriends.

I thought you were shy.

I am.

I'm gay.

And I'm shy.

Well, I don't care.

I don't care

if you're the gayest,

shyest kid in all of America.

You're my son.

And I love you.

I love you too.

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