50 First Dates Page #5

I'm seeing a new side to you, sir.

I gotta tell you, it's grossing me out.

Let me ask you something.

What's in it for you?

What do you get out of this?

I don't know.

Wouldn't you want to spend

an hour a day with that?

Actually, no. She sings like sh*t.

- What?

- Can I ask you guys something?

What'll happen down the line?

Someday she'll wake up...

...look in the mirror and notice

she aged 10 years overnight.

You know something, Henry?

I worry about that

every damn day of my life.

Pardon me.

Sorry to interrupt, but I noticed we

were both eating alone...

...and I thought I could sit with you,

maybe build a syrup Jacuzzi...

...for your waffle house?

- Oh, that would be nice...

...but I have a boyfriend.

So I'm sorry.

You're making up a boyfriend

to get rid of me?

No, I'm not.

What's his name, then?

Ringo.

Is his last name Starr?

- No. McCartney.

- McCartney, okay.

- Oh, no.

- All right. I'm sorry.

No! This cop is writing me a ticket!

Oh, whoa, whoa.

I wouldn't go out there.

- Wait, wait, wait!

- Go on!

I'm coming.

The tags don't expire

for seven months.

- They expired May of this year.

- No! No, no!

They expire May of next year.

I think there's been

a misunderstanding.

- I don't.

- This is ridiculous.

I'm not paying for this!

It's October!

Excuse me. Can I borrow this?

Look, October!

Lucy, let's go back inside.

What?

What?

Having a bad day, Doug!

Sweetheart...

...these are from the accident.

Oh, no!

I can feel it.

You were in the hospital

for three months, sweetheart.

I have to talk to this doctor.

I need to hear it from him.

You have heard it, sweetie.

Many times.

I have?

I'll take her.

I have to hear for myself too.

Doug, just take this, okay?

I can't...

I can't look at it anymore.

- It's gonna be all right, Luce.

- Don't call me Luce. I barely know you.

Sweetie, you're sort of dating him.

Sorry I'm not better-looking.

What else happened

since last October?

- What about my students?

- Miss Campbell took over your class.

- Did Alicia marry that guy?

- Yeah.

Doug, did you win

the Mr. Hawaii contest?

I didn't know there was gonna be

a urine test.

Wow.

Do we have sex?

No, we don't.

Just so everybody knows that.

We want to.

Just kidding.

So you guys have to just lie

to me every day.

Hey, Lucy.

Good to see you again.

What the hell's her problem?

She doesn't remember

who you are, brah.

Oh, yeah.

I suck at this job.

Lucy, these are your

brain scans here.

I'm afraid they show

no improvement.

The temporal lobe

was severely damaged.

What we believe is scar tissue

here is impairing your ability...

...to convert short-term memory into

long-term memory while you sleep.

The condition's come to be known

as Goldfield Syndrome.

- Who's Goldfield?

- A brilliant Lithuanian psychiatrist.

He himself suffered

temporal-lobe damage.

Took him four years

to publish his findings...

...because he had to keep

starting over from scratch.

Obviously, your sense of humour

is still intact, and that's here.

Magnificent amygdala as well.

- Doctor, I have a question.

- I'd be happy to answer it...

...but as I've told you before, this is a

hygienic facility. Shirts are required.

- Oh, okay.

- Nice move.

Listen, doctor, this...

...friend of mine's been experimenting

a little with steroids.

He's been having a lot

of wet dreams.

Could there be a connection

between them?

Douglas, get off the juice.

As for the nocturnal emissions,

why don't you take a swim...

...buy a shirt with no holes,

find a wahine and take her to dinner.

I'll tell my friend you said so.

In any case, Lucy,

your condition is stable...

...but most likely permanent.

I'm so sorry, dear.

But it could be worse.

Yeah? How?

I think you should meet

Ten Second Tom.

Callahan Institute is the leading

brain-injury clinic in the Pacific Rim.

We are funded out of Sandusky, Ohio

by T.B. Callahan...

...the automotive-components tycoon

and philanthropist.

And now, I would like

to introduce to you...

...our most distinguished

clinical subject...

...Tom.

- Hi. I'm Tom.

- Henry.

- Marlin.

- Doug.

- Lucy.

- Hi.

Cool flip-flops.

Where'd you get them?

You like those? It's interesting.

I was on the North Shore...

Hi, I'm Tom.

- Henry.

- Hi.

- Marlin.

- Tom lost part of his brain...

...in a hunting accident.

His memory lasts 10 seconds.

I was in an accident? That's terrible.

Don't worry.

You'll get over it in seconds.

Get over it? I mean, what happened?

Did I get shot in the brain...?

- Hi, I'm Tom.

- Hi, I'm Lucy.

- Hi.

- Doug.

- Hey.

- Marlin.

Hey, Tom, can I tell you a secret?

Don't you think you're a little old

to still have wet dreams?

- They liked that.

- Hi, I'm Tom.

- Yeah, watch yourself, Tom.

- Easy.

- I'm gonna go to sleep.

- All right. Good night.

Good night, you guys.

I'll see you tomorrow.

- And I guess I'll see you too?

- Oh, yeah.

You had a rough day today.

I'm sorry.

I hope you get some rest tonight.

Okay.

Good night.

So how you getting home?

- You gonna take the Likelike or...

- Hey.

Thank you for being

so nice to me today.

- Sure.

- I don't want you to...

...strike out tomorrow.

So maybe you could talk

to me about...

...lilies.

Lilies?

I'm a sucker for lilies.

Thanks for the tip.

Good night.

Good night.

My, oh, my.

- Lover-boy.

- Yes, sir.

You don't have to rush off.

Stick around.

You've earned yourself

a couple beers.

So what'll you do when

you finish the boat?

Actually, I'm going on a trip soon...

...to study undersea

Pacific walrus behaviours.

Sounds kind of fruity.

- Thank you.

- How long is it gonna take?

About a year.

Guess you won't miss days like this.

Well, maybe days like this

don't have to be so bad.

What are you trying to say?

When you guys tell her...

...she's not just finding out

about the accident.

She's finding out that her life

is basically a set-up.

I think that freaks her out the most.

- You're an expert now?

- No.

I'm saying I wish there was

another way besides:

"Sorry we couldn't trick you today.

Here's pictures of your broken head."

- You want a broken head?

- You'll give him one?

No, Daddy, I thought

you was gonna do it.

Nobody's gotta break my head.

I'm gonna split anyways.

Oh, don't go just because

my son is psychotic.

Good night. Sweet dreams.

Keep them dry there, Doug.

Very funny.

- Excuse me. Lucy Whitmore?

- Yes?

I have a delivery for you.

- A delivery for me?

- Yes.

Oh, they're beautiful.

- Who are they from?

- That I can't tell you.

It's a secret admirer.

He also wants you to have this.

- Who's your friend, Lucy?

- Oh, well, I mean, I don't know.

We just met, but look.

I have a secret admirer.

Oh, really? What's this?

It's a videotape.

A videotape of what?

I have no idea.

But I have to find out.

Happy birthday, Daddy.

- Thank you, sweetie.

- That's right. Happy birthday, sir.

- What are you, 200 today?

- That's cute.

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