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- Pete!

- That's a really nice rack.

[CRICKETS]

Hey!

Somebody's been in here.

That door was open when we left.

Don't you bullshit me, Pete.

[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]

DANIEL:
Okay. This can't be good.

We should go back outside.

LORRAINE:

No, this is great. Keep rolling.

[DOOR CREAKING]

At least my timer still works.

Your timer's not there.

LORRAINE:
Oh.

SHERYL:

Something's fishy here.

Like with the house.

I don't trust her.

Pete, you need to tell

us what she's up to.

Me? How would I know?

Look, even if it is her, she's

never gone this far before.

Don't make me do it.

What, are you guys like five?

[SQUEAK AND DOOR SLAM]

Actor guy?

LORRAINE:

Who's in there?

Keep rolling. We're going in.

I'm not going in there.

Don't you pull the

diva card with me, young lady.

When I found you, you were Drunk

Sorority Chick Number 3 on an

episode of "Scream Queens."

For the record,

I was Drunk Girl Number 2.

Whatever.

You were on "Scream Queens"?

Get in there now.

[HOWLING AND CRICKE SOUNDS INTENSIFY]

SOFT SPOOKY AMBIENCE

SHERYL:

Hello? Jimmy?

Was that you we heard?

If this was a horror film,

a cat would jump out right now.

Pretty sure the cat's

jumping days are over.

That's a good point,

Pete. Poor little Mittens.

Jimmy, if that was you,

can you do that again?

[BUZZING SOUND]

DANIEL:

70 degrees even.

Uh, uh. [sigh]

[ATMOSPHERIC SOUNDS BUILD]

[DOOR CREAKING]

GOOFY INSPECTOR MUSIC

DANIEL:

Still 70 degrees.

[CAR HORN HONKING]

[BUZZING]

LORRAINE:

Son of a b*tch.

[MACHINE BEEPS,

CAR HONKING]

DANIEL:

It just went up a degree.

[HONKING CONTINUES]

LORRAINE:
What the f***... [gasps].

Holy f***ing sh*t - Are you -

[muffled screams]

[CAR HONKING CONTINUES]

[LIGHT SWTICH SOUND EFFECT]

DANIEL:
Pete, you got

anymore batteries.

SHERYL:
Yeah. He's got

a lot of batteries.

PETER:

Um, yeah. They're Cs.

DANIEL:
Oh.

SHERYL:
Oh, God.

What do-these take Ds?

I prefer Double Ds.

I can't believe I'm in

the middle of this.

I can't believe I'm in

the middle of this either.

I want to go home.

PETER:
It's gonna be okay, buddy.

It's gonna be okay.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]

See?

Anything?

[MACHINE STARTS BEEPING]

Instant temperature drop.

Back in business.

[RELIEVED SIGH]

Uh, actually...

Oh. I think we just

debunked our cold spots.

[MACHINE BEEPING]

Where's Lorraine.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

Looks like there's our answer.

Debunked our light problem.

It's our producer, Lorraine.

That's two for two.

Come on out, Lorraine.

I don't think this is Lorraine.

My inner voice is telling

me this is definitely her.

You know what we should do?

Call Judge Judy right now.

No. We should scare her.

I don't think that's

possible. One time

I saw her get

bit by a rattlesnake.

She sucked out the poison,

killed the snake, and then made

me a belt. She's like

Chuck Norris, just way sexier.

Okay. Well, look. If she wants

to mess around with dead cats

and all this sick sh*t, I say

we give it right back to her.

Like the Ten

Commandments. When people do

stuff to you, you gotta

do stuff back to people.

Exactly. If she wants to

keep scaring us, guess what?

Two people

can play at that game.

DANIEL:
Maybe we should

hide or something.

PETER:
I'm not hiding.

I'm a grownup.

SHERYL:
She's hiding and she's

got a three-bedroom house in the

valley.

PETER:
Had a house.

What?

She had a House. She sold

it to pay for this show.

Now she lives above a

methadone clinic a mile from

me in Van Nuys

Oh, she's such a liar.

She's a Class A

sinner, that one.

Oh, she's got a good heart

and she's just, uh...

buries it deep,

really, really deep.

SHERYL:
Mm, you so

have a crush on her.

Oh, no. [laughs]

No, I...

SHERYL:
Whatever. She's just using you.

I think she likes chicks.

No, she doesn't!

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]

DANIEL:
Can we please just

find her and prove that she

is behind all of this? Because

if not, I am going to be

convinced that there

is a ghost under my bed

the rest of my life.

Okay. We'll be those

meddling kids from "Dukes

of Hazzard." You can be Bo, you

can be Luke, and I'll be Daisy.

PETER:
Uh, meddling kids was

"Scooby Doo," and that was Daphne.

DANIEL:
Yeah. I don't want to be

the racist people from that show

that got canceled

for being racist.

They weren't racist.

Says the white guy.

I'm half Portuguese.

Okay. So is she

Daphne or is she Daisy?

I'm so confused.

Can we just find the fuse box?

Yes. Maybe in there.

LORRAINE:
[muffled screams] Hey!

Hey! [screaming]

GOOFY INSPECTOR MUSIC

SHERYL:

I bet it's in the garage.

DANIEL:
More blood.

SHERYL:
Ooh.

[BLOOD DRIP SOUNDS] DANIEL:

That is blood, right, Pete?

PETER:
Oh, yeah.

Oh, Lorraine. I just got

over the last dead animal.

I'm not going in there,

guys. You don't understand.

I have an extreme

phobia of being murdered.

That's not a phobia. Everybody's

afraid of being murdered.

Well, I don't care. I'm

gonna go outside and

wait for Lorraine.

[ROPE TIGHTENING SOUND EFFECT]

EMMETT:
[Sniffing] Mm.

Nice boots.

LORRAINE:
[Muffled] Thank you.

[SPOOKY AMBIENCE ]

[CRICKETS]

SHERYL:
Get the champagne, Pete.

Wait a second.

DANIEL:
What?

Look.

[SPOOKY AMBIENCE INTENSIFIES]

This car is a 2012. You can tell

right by the steering wheel.

She always told

me it was brand new.

Huh. Time to drink.

[CRICKETS]

[MUFFLED SCREAMS]

[CLATTERING TOOLS]

EMMETT:
Sea salt filtered

through holy water, blessed by

a Catholic Bishop.

One spirit-detecting candle made

by a Native American shaman.

I'm sorry, but today

being the very anniversary of

Jimmy's suicide, it's the

only day that I can do this...

[MUFFLED]

Do what?

Gut that son of a b*tch

who murdered my

brother when I was in prison.

[Muffled] I don't

follow you. I really don't ...ah.

Jimmy Timmy Beck. I can

barely say that a**hole's name.

It's easier if

you drop the Timmy.

[ELECTRIC STATIC]

You know I'm here for

you, Jimmy. You see, I was doing

a bid in McDougal for armed

robbery when he snatched my

brother like he did the others.

He brought him here to this very

place and he did things to him.

PETER:
I used to love the bacon

cheeseburgers at Sully's.

They're delicious.

They come with these fries,

baked beans, and coleslaw.

Then they went out of business

so I started going to Twain's.

They had this

amazing French dip.

The portions

were kinda small,

but it was worth

it for the price.

EMMETT:
You know, in this

light you look just like him.

Are you kidding me?

Yeah.

Unh-unh. Unh-unh. Unh-unh.

Ugh.

PETER:
Got used to going there

and then, of course, they went

out of business too. So I

started going to, uh, Du-Par's.

They had a really good,

uh, beet salad that I liked.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

SHERYL:

How sad is that?

She's still at it.

Wait a minute. Look at that.

DANIEL:

Who's that guy?

I don't know.

Maybe that a**hole Bob from

the network she's

always talking about.

He's probably in there

commending her on her

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