A Boyfriend for My Wife Page #6

lt'll be good for you.

Otherwise they'll starttalking.

-What can they say?

-That you're a sourpuss or a misery.

Things like that, so l think...

You'll do well at the radio.

Who knows where it could lead.

-Hey, love, stop it!

-Uh?

-l've got my hair up!

-Fine, fine, keep cool.

l've left you a sort of

''coq a la vin'' on the stove.

-''Coq au vin'' it's called.

-Well, ''au vin'' then.

-Well... that's all. See you.

-Hang on!

What?

You look really good in that dress.

-Really? Thanks.

-Yes.

The advance on my first pay cheque.

-OK, see you. Bye.

-Bye.

l hate this de auteur culture.

So what's de auteur culture

for Tana Ferro?

Everything. Cinema, clothes,

shoes... food, even wine nowadays.

What's wrong with you in Palermo...

with your ''cruttons'' and ''tagglitelli''?

And they've turned

a beautifulold quarter...

into a globalised dump.

The otherday l went to eat in one of

those places with friends,

and we were met with a menu with

wonderful things, like...

macerated carpaccio,

semolina with black sauce...

and ginger, etc.

Where does Cuervo get the money to

take her to places like that?

-Keep quiet.

-Well, where...

And then the "auteur" himself

appears and says:

l macerated the carpaccio, then l

''drizzled'' on the black sauce,

and added grated ginger and nuts.

but l'm not telling you...

''l got up,

but l'm not telling you...

''l got up,

Could you bring me...

Could you bring me...

a fresh market garden salad,

with freshly laid free-range eggs,

and a tomato,

either a beef tomato or a plum tomato

but never a cherry?

-What happened?

-l had to go somewhere else,

where l ordered a mixed salad,

just lettuce, tomato and onion,

and a breaded beef cutlet, which is

basically a schnitzel, and l loved it.

l was happy.

-Have a good day?

-Yes.

Yeah, it was good.

-What did you do?

-Nothing... l went for a walk...

and thought about

the programme for tomorrow.

-Alone?

-Yes, alone.

Hey, come here,

l want to tell you something.

-Are you hungry?

-A little, you?

Me too, but l couldn't cook.

Shall we order?

-Pizza?

-OK.

-Or something else.

-No, pizza.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Tana.

-Can l have a kiss?

Give me a kiss.

Tana...

Hang on a minute.

lt's my cellphone.

-No, it's mine.

-No, it isn't. lt's mine.

Yours doesn't sound like that,

it's my new one.

Where did you get it?

-They gave it me at the radio.

-When?

Just a minute and l'll tell you.

At the radio.

-Everything OK?

-Yes.

-What's wrong?

-Nothing,

but l have

to leave in a while.

-Hang on.

-But... What?

-Tana, what are you hiding from me?

-Nothing.

-Do you want to tell me something?

-No, why?

-What are you laughing at?

-Atwhat you're asking me.

-What do you want to know?

-Do you want to tell me something?

No, nothing.

-Really?

-You make me laugh, that's all.

l'll be right back.

l'm on my way.

Over here!

Here's the list of things

about my wife.

-l'll go and get it.

-No... don't bother.

-l'll go and get it

-Don't worry.

There's no need.

l wanted to say...

l'm working on her very slowly...

l reckon... start thinking of

yourself as single again.

Thatwas quick, we'd said another week.

She's... Tana's a fine lass,

l don't want to push her, but...

Yes, start making plans.

ln a couple of days we'll be done.

-Why? Has something happened?

-Tenso...

No, sure, l...

No, as it's you...

You're beginning to realise...

what sort of girl she is, l suppose.

A great kid... but difficult...

with a special sort of energy...

l contacted you because l couldn't...

l couldn't, not because...

what do you think?

l don't understand.

lt would help if at breakfast...

You made her a shake of...

make a note as this is essential...

pomegranate juice, paysion fruit and

coconut milk. First thing.

-Passion fruit.

-Paysion fruit.

-No, passion fruit. No 'y'.

-Really? Oh.

No 'y'? OK, No 'y'.

A glass first thing.

What's this for?

Afruit, passion fruit.

Where can l get it?

Afruit, passion fruit.

Where can l get it?

-l don't know, get back...

-You know.

Don't say l don't know.

-Where can l get passion fruit?

-What are you doing?

-You are not answering!

-l don't knowwhere.

-Where can l get passion fruit?

-What fruit?

-Passion fruit.

-ln Chinatown, go on, go on...

-ls it open?

-Yes, go on. Goal!

-Concentrate, are you mad?

-Why do you say that?

-How come you're not shadowing.

-You let it in, l saw you.

Excuse me, you've gone soft

in the bloody head.

Don't talkto me like that.

-Like what?

-l've never been rude to you.

-l've never called you a fat slob.

-Sensitive, aren't we, love?

Yeah, get lost.

-Morning.

-Hello.

-Hey, will you make me one?

-lt's for you.

Sorry ifl pretend l haven't lostyou

lt hurts to accept thatyou're gone

l can't getyou out ofmy mind.

One dayyou'll know

you're in myheart

Life makes no sense

and l can die ifyou're not here.

l need you so much

lt hurts me to breathe

Orperhaps in mydreams

l loveyou more and more

lt's raining stars

ln ourroom

They fill with tears...

myheart

lt's raining stars

around me

andpeople ask

What's become ofyou...

what's become ofyou...

l'd like to carryyou with me

and when the time comes

Get to the bottom ofyourfeelings

To see ifyou feel the same way.

No, no. Stop, no.

Blanca, l'm both very sociable

and very friendly.

l like birthdays, parties,

being with friends.

She's the complete opposite.

She doesn't like birthdays or parties.

She doesn't like being with people,

so it's very hard on me, Blanca.

On top of that, Blanca,

l've got a wife who...

-Hold it a sec, hold it...

-No, let me get this out.

-l've got it here.

-Can you stop saying...?

Blanca this, Blanca that.

Blanca's not your aunt.

What are you, Blanca?

A psychologist?

-Psychiatrist.

-Psychiatrist. Even more so.

So what should l say?

You say ''Blanca'' just once...

And we all knowthat this person here

is ''Blanca''.

OK, agreed.

Blanca, whatever you say.

-Do you knowwhat Kepelsky said?

-What did Kepelsky say?

That he's going to pay Tana's salary.

He's got a few new sponsors so he

should be paying her.

Would you believe it?

There are times... hang on...

That really gets me,

we'd made a deal...

For the better? What are deals for?

To comply with.

For the better? What are deals for?

To comply with.

A girl comes along...

lt wasn't easy to get

that cash together. Coming!

Run, run!

Who hit me? Was it a goal?

-Are you alright?

-No, l'm not.

-Are you?

-Yes.

-Things OK?

-Let's carry on.

Come on, come on.

Tana!

Tana, are you in?

Are you mad? Doyou know

how much we have in the bank?

-Yes, l know, l don't care.

-Yes, ofcourse.

You can'tpayoffan overdraft with a

cheque on the same account.

We have financialproblems,

what's so funny?

lt's not that. We're young.

l don't want to worryabout that.

Willyou carry on working with

yourdad although you hate it?

You don'towe anything.

What's the problem?

-We owe the bank money.

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