A Bronx Tale Page #5

- Come on. Take it home!

- Look at this one move!

- This horse can't lose!

- You can do it, Kryptonite! Come on!

Look, it's a lock. It's beautiful.

Don't even worry about it. We can't lose.

I'm not even going to look

because I know we can't lose.

- We can't lose.

- Let's go. Come on!

- Look! He's pulling away!

- Come on, Kryptonite!

Come on, Kryptonite!

Look at him!

Forget it. It's over.

It's all over.

- Damn.

- Let's go!

- That's it, Kryptonite!

- Come on, Kryptonite!

Bring me luck!

Come on. Bring me luck!

Come on, Kryptonite!

Hang in there! Come on!

- Oh, sh*t!

- Come on! Let's go!

Get the...

He bet the f***ing horse?

He bet Kryptonite?

Give me the tickets.

But, Sonny, we're winning.

We can't win. The Mush bet Kryptonite.

F***ing jinx!

- We're five lengths in the lead.

- Come on. We've been "mushed. "

Come on. I got to get away

from this f***ing jinx.

Come on. You can still do it!

Come on, Kryptonite.

You can still do it!

- Hang in there!

- Come on. Take it home!

Hang in there!

No! Sh*t!

- F***! This f***ing close!

- I don't believe I lost!

- I don't f***ing believe it!

- Hey, C!

I got a tip in the next race for you.

Go f*** yourself!

You're very emotional.

'White Birch

wins it in an absolute shocker! '

We finally got

our own social club.

We called it Deuces Wild.

Drinks were a buck and the jukebox

and the cigarette machine paid the rent.

All we cared about

was hanging out.

We would cut class

and hang out all day and all night.

Nobody wanted to go home,

because God forbid,

you were the first one to go home

and then found out the next day

that you missed something.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

fellas, whoa!

Look at those broads over there.

They're beautiful!

Look at those broads.

They're beautiful!

Yo, get over here!

Come here!

Put it back in your pants.

- Those f***ing broads are both pigs.

- How the hell do you know?

- F*** you, C.

- How the hell do you know?

They'd fail my test in a second.

- What test are we talking about?

- It has a name or something?

If you wanna know if you can trust a girl

and she is good enough to marry,

she's got to pass the test.

- I call it the Mario test.

- This I got to hear. What's this test?

The test is, you take a girl like that

for a ride in your car, right?

Jump on the highway, you pull up

to one of them big 18-wheelers.

You pull right alongside of it

and get attention of the driver.

Honk your horn. Do what you gotta do.

Make sure he's looking. That's important.

At the same time, put your hand

behind this f***ing broad's head,

and you start pushing her head down

between your legs.

- Get the f*** out of here.

- It's for her own good, believe me.

Now, if this girl

goes down on you,

knowing that that guy in the truck

is watching,

- then she's a pig, and can't be trusted.

- It's not gonna work.

You're a sick maniac.

You need some help.

When they're into it,

they do stuff with their hand,

they throw their hair over their ear.

They did it before.

Believe me,

they're f***ing pros.

That's the second time

those n*ggers passed today.

As long as they don't stop,

who gives a f***?

I give a f***, that's who.

Did they get out to bother you?

No, they didn't bother you.

Today it's one car, next week it's two,

before you know it

it's their neighbourhood

and they're f***ing our broads.

They shouldn't come through here.

Period.

Invite them in.

Make them have a drink.

Baseball-bat their f***ing heads.

Hey, you want a shot?

Take one. Come back!

Louie? Dumps! Get over here!

Where's my money?

I got to do that thing.

I can't...

- Sh*t!

- What's up?

This guy owes me 20 bucks.

It's been two f***ing weeks now.

You can't dodge me forever!

F***ing piece of sh*t.

I gotta talk to my father.

I'll be right back, all right?

- All right, I'll see you.

- Come back.

Come on. Take a ride with me.

I got one trip left.

- Do I have to?

- Yeah, you have to. Come on.

Sit. Sit over here.

Dad, do we have to listen to this music?

It gives me a headache.

You kids today, I gotta tell you,

you don't even know what good music is.

Listen to this. This is good music.

Want to go to the fights

with me tomorrow night?

Calogero?

Hey! You listening to me?

Calogero! Hey!

Dad, why can't you call me C?

Everybody calls me C.

Because that was your grandfather's

name, and that's the name I gave you.

That's why I can't call you C

or whatever you want to call yourself.

Want to go to the fights

tomorrow night?

- Could I let you know tomorrow?

- You wanna go or you don't wanna go?

- All right, all right, I'll go.

- Don't say it like that.

Don't wanna be twisting your arm,

but you know...

She was tall,

she was beautiful,

and she was classy.

But she was black.

And that was a no-no

in my neighbourhood.

- Jackie, what's the first?

- 2:
00, fellas.

- Two. Your friend's number.

- Who?

- Your pal.

- Don't f*** around.

- Johnny Biscord bet 228 again?

- That's it.

- Again?

- Again.

I'll try to have some better music

for you next time.

I'm only kidding.

It's OK, Pop.

See you later.

- Louie!

- My grandmother's sick.

I'll talk to you later.

- I got to go do something.

- Where's my f***ing money?

You're f***ing dead when I catch you,

you piece of sh*t!

C, come here!

- Get over here.

- He's f***ing crazy, this kid.

The kid wants his f***ing money.

What can you do?

- I got to talk to him.

- You gotta stop babying him.

He owes me money.

- Hit him with a f***ing bat.

- Knock him all over the f***ing block.

Is that the advice you give the kid,

you f***ing hoodlums?

Come on. Don't listen

to these hoodlums.

I'm gonna go to Gino's.

I'll be right back.

What's the matter?

This guy Louie Dumps over here,

he owes me 20 dollars.

It's been two weeks now, and every time

he sees me he keeps dodging me.

He's becoming a real pain in the ass.

Should I crack him one, or what?

What's the matter?

What have I been telling you?

Sometimes hurting somebody

ain't the answer.

- First of all, is he a good friend of yours?

- No, I don't even like him.

You don't even like him.

There's your answer right there.

Look at it this way:

It costs you 20 dollars to get rid of him.

He's never bother you again.

He's never gonna ask you for money again.

He's out of your life for 20 dollars.

You got off cheap. Forget him.

- You're always right. You're always right.

- Yeah, I'm always right.

If I was always right, I wouldn't have done

What did you do every day?

There's only three things

you can do in the joint, kid:

Lift weights, play cards

or get into trouble.

- What did you do?

- Me? I read.

What did you read?

- Ever hear of Machiavelli?

- Who?

Machiavelli. He's a famous writer

from 500 years ago.

Availability.

That's what he always said.

- Availability?

- That's right. Listen to me.

You know why I live

in this neighbourhood?

Availability.

I want to stay close

to everything,

because being on the spot,

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