A Date for Mad Mary Page #2

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- Yeah.

- Are you Jess?

Yeah.

I'm Charlene Duffy's maid of honour.

I'm here to pay a deposit

for the weddin' video.

Uh, any chance

you can come back in an hour?

No.

Hey. Um... Uh, come in.

I actually thought this job was cancelled

when I never heard from her.

Here, em.

Where am I, again?

Bewley Mews

Uh, what's the... What's the date again?

28th of March.

Oh, sh*t.

- What?

- I actually can't do it. I have a gig that night.

What?

I have a gig with my band.

Well, can you not cancel that?

No.

Why not?

Because I don't want to.

It's fine. I have a number

here I can give you.

No, she wanted you.

I'm sure Charlene will get over it.

No, she really won't.

What do you want me to do?

Fine.

I will cancel my gig for you.

Thanks.

Bridezilla, huh?

Mind your own business.

What's, eh...

What's her name, again?

Jess.

OK, you owe me.

Oh, thank you.

- Seriously, thank you.

- You're welcome.

Eh, Jess, I'm gonna head on.

Do you want my digits?

- Uh...

- He forgot your name a minute ago.

No, I didn't.

Yeah, you did.

You just asked me what her name was.

Uh, it's fine.

- I didn't want his number anyway.

- Bye.

Well played.

I have me moments.

- The deposit.

- Oh, thank you.

So I guess I'll see you on the 28th, then.

Yeah.

- You're a good egg.

- You, too.

Door opening.

"You're a good egg"?

F***in' a**hole.

Door closing.

Order for McArdle.

Um, just a minute.

Thanks.

There's Mary.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Hey, Mary.

- Hi.

Do you wanna join us?

It's Leona's birthday.

- No.

- All right

Happy birthday.

So I just came to say that I met a fella.

So I might need that plus one after all.

Oh!

What do you mean "Oh"?

I'm not a f***in' leper, Charlene.

I know. Stop cursin' at me.

Sorry.

So, who is he?

- You don't know him.

- Yeah, well, what's his name?

John.

"John" what?

Carter.

From Mars?

What?

The film.

So, can he come or not?

Yeah. Course.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

See you's.

- See you, Mary.

- See you, Mary.

John Carter? Seriously?

She's fine.

Hey, it's me.

- Hiya.

- So, listen.

I was thinking it could be good for us

to meet John Carter before the weddin'.

Who?

Your boyfriend.

Oh, yeah.

So why don't the two of you's come over

for a beer or somethin' on Saturday?

You can see the new house as well.

- He's workin'.

- Oh?

What's he do?

Works in a bar.

Where?

- McPhails?

- Mary, the barmen in there are really hot.

Which one is he?

The tall one with short hair.

The one with all the tatts?

No. No tatts.

Look, you probably don't know him.

He keeps to himself.

Anyway, he's workin' Saturday.

Sh*t.

I could still come over.

Ah no. You're all right.

Come here, em...

He's not weird or anything, is he?

- What?

- You know what I mean.

No, he's not weird.

Cool.

It'd be good to meet him anyway.

Maybe next week?

Yeah. I'll say it to him.

Thanks, babes.

The things you need to know

about Charlene.

What kind of man you want?

One that's free to go to a weddin'

on the 28th of March.

- That's it?

- Yeah.

But what kind of men do you like?

I mean, Polish, Irish, what?

- Any.

- Look, in the agency

we have older men for older women, yeah?

But I'll find you a nice boy, OK? Stand up.

Photo.

Now, ready? Smile.

Mmm? A bit more.

A bit more.

Ta-da!

I'm giving you

the famous J-Lo glow.

It's excitin', isn't it?

No.

Any advice?

You're askin' her for advice?

Yes, Mam. She's asking me for advice.

I'm a woman. I've been taken out by men.

A f***in' sniper wouldn't take you out.

I don't remember

gettin' any pearls of wisdom off you.

You're done.

- How do I look?

- Like a whore.

I believe you're lookin' to find someone

to go to a wedding?

Me and Char have known

our fair share of hard times.

When Char's gran died, I was there for her.

When stuff was goin' on for me,

she was always there for me, too.

As they say, Hard times will always reveal

true friendship.

And ours is very true.

Ours is the most true.

Ours is...

Hi, this is Charlene.

Leave a message.

Hey, it's me.

So I was readin' this really interesting

thing in the paper earlier.

It said that the best night ever

to go out with Mary is a Tuesday night?

So...

Call me back.

So, do you do

anything like that yourself?

- What?

- Like sport or drama?

No.

Any interests at all?

No.

This is the first one of these where

I've actually had a good feelin'.

You just seem to be really sound

and funny.

And you're proper hot.

The fact that you need someone

to bring to your friend's weddin'

and I need someone

to bring to my brother's weddin'...

...it could be perfect.

Oh, f*** me.

You're my boyfriend, your name is John.

I've got this.

Hello!

Hi, what are you doin' here?

Oh, I was passing on me way from work.

And who do we have here?

Charlene, this is John Carter,

the chap I was tellin' you about.

John, this is Charlene.

I believe I'm comin' to your weddin'.

Wow. He's cute.

Thanks.

Well, it was good to see ya, Char.

He's f***in' gorgeous, Mary.

Yep.

Can I ask you somethin'?

This is gonna seem really weird

cos I just met you but...

would you like to be a groomsman?

It's just Declan, me fella, he doesn't

really have any good-lookin' friends,

and it'd be deadly to have at least one

good-lookin' chap in the photographs.

Er... Sure.

You did well, hun.

I sure did.

By the way, the hen's is on Friday.

The theme is Mamma Mia!

What's that mean?

Ya come dressed as a

character from the film.

What, like Meryl Streep?

No. Leona got Meryl Streep.

We put all the names in a hat

And you got Stellan Skarsgrd.

OK? See ya Friday.

Looks like you're coming to a weddin'.

Bring it on, chicken.

You're gonna have to dial down the camp.

Er, I'm not camp.

Eh, yeah, ya are.

What?

I'm sorry. I'll... I'll go to

your brother's weddin'.

Aw, f*** off!

The things you need

to know about Charlene.

Me and her share the

best memories together.

Like the weekends.

When the two of us would go clubbin'.

This is when we'd really

get to let our hair down.

Nights that felt like they

went on forever and ever.

Like me and her were the only

two people left in the world.

- Hey.

- I might head on.

OK, then.

Oh, you text me John Carter's

number in the morning?

- Who?

- Your boyfriend.

Oh.

- What?

- Nothin'. I was just...

...thinkin' of breakin' up with him.

Jesus, Mary, do you not recognise

a good thing when it lands in your lap?

Ya don't even know him.

He could be a f***in' dick.

Yeah, well, he's not.

Oh, would you check your email cos

I sent ya your speech.

I thought I was supposed to write it.

Well, I did it for ya.

Right?

Nice outfit.

- Weddin' video.

- Wedding video.

How's it goin'?

Good. So what are you up to?

Nothin'.

Are you here with mates?

Yeah.

Sorry, I just have to...

Hello?

F*** off.

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