A Date with Miss Fortune Page #3

Stay away from Maria.

Can't say I'm familiar with them.

Although I imagine their

logo is just a picture

of you looking angry.

Kind of like that.

You make jokes.

Jokes aren't funny!

Jokes won't make my daughter happy!

With all do respect, sir, I

do make your daughter happy.

I mean, I think I do.

And I know I want to, more than anything.

Have you ever heard the expression,

"laughter is the best medicine"?

Have you heard the Portuguese expression,

"medicine is the best medicine"?

You know who said that?

Maria's ex fianc.

He's a doctor!

Uhh, my uncle says, you're a lucky man.

Thank you, Uncle Joao.

Two.

You did that on purpose,

didn't you you little devil?

I gotta go.

Goodnight everyone, thank you.

Bye!

Love you!

Love you too.

They hate me.

They don't hate you.

They just need to get to know you.

Well I'm not sure how

crazy I am about them.

They're judgmental, intimidating.

Your father threatened me, and your sister!

Mmm, I have never seen

dexterity in toes like that!

Ever!

Your grandmother caught me on the lips.

It was like kissing a catfish!!!

And the Ricky Martin painting?!

The what?

In your dads little man cave?

Oh, no, that's not Ricky Martin,

that's Cristiano Ronaldo,

a famous Portuguese soccer player.

Listen Jack, I know they can be a handful.

But I'm just really glad you tried.

It meant a lot to me.

Wow.

I've never seen you get

worked up like this.

What happened to cool cat nip Jack?

He just got a taste of his future in-laws.

What?

I was planning on doing this differently.

Maria, you've made me

realize all the things

I never knew I wanted.

And now that I know, there's

only one thing left to do.

Will you marry...

Oh yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

We just have to see Seora Maria first.

Your therapist?

I believe in therapy.

I think people can learn a lot

about themselves, you know.

I guess, it's just not for me.

You know travelling is my therapy.

I learned a lot about myself

while backpacking through Europe.

But it was my time in India

was the most profound.

I remember riding an elephant

to see the Taj Mahal at sunset.

It was the most incredible thing.

Emperor Shah Jahan built it in

memory of his deceased wife.

They say it's the world's most magnificent

monument dedicated to love and devotion.

What does it look like?

Oh, words can't even describe it.

It's just, so incredible.

Mmm, I am so jealous.

Here you are, this world traveller

and I've hardly been anywhere.

I figure we've only got this one world,

we should try and experience it.

Oh, you're alive!

I am.

Thank God.

See I assumed you were

dead because why else

when we have a network pitch

coming up would you go AWOL

and stop answering your email

and your phone and your text.

Uhh.

Um, holy sh*t!

Looks like Martha Stewart vomited in here.

What's going on?

I uhh, I got a roommate.

You're living with someone?

Yeah, my fianc.

Get the f...

Are you serious?

Yeah.

You're serious!?

Oh my god no, no, no.

This is the worst thing that

could happen to a writing team!

Wilson, come on,

Oh and you already got that

stupid look on your face.

No wonder your ideas lick!

You've got love brain!!

Hey, I don't have love brain

and my ideas don't lick!

What about my script "Special Agent Ed"?

That's about a retarded FBI agent!

Oh my god.

I do have love brain.

Ditch this chick.

Cause we've got three

network pitches coming up,

and we have Jack!

That's funny, I should write that down.

I promise I won't let my relationship

affect our work anymore.

I need this more than you do man.

Mhmm, that's debatable.

But Wilson, you have to meet Maria.

Maria?

Her names Maria, she's ethnic?!

Great!

That's like love brain on crack!!

Don't worry Senora Maria is

very nice, you'll love her.

I'm not worried.

Good.

Ah, Nelia, how are you?

I thought you died.

Evil eye thing, I got one of

these guys again, evil eye.

Oh, Nelia, this is Jack, my fianc.

Jack this is my favorite cousin, Nelia.

He so cute.

Oh my god.

What does Seora Maria think?

That's why we're here.

First time?

Yeah.

Good to see you!

Call me!

I know, I know!

Bye!

Bye.

This is your therapist's office?

Shhhhh!

You've got Tobe kidding me.

Stop it.

What?

This is not the man for you.

You must leave immediately.

What is it, what did she say?

So, how are the Patriots

lookin' on Sunday, huh?

Three turnovers. Pats lose by six.

Why don't you just tell me

what crystal ball lady said?

It's obviously upsetting you.

It's nothing.

Are those the same underwear

you had on last night?

No.

Ugh.

Two days in a row.

That's disgusting.

I showered before bed last night.

Why should I change them

after only sleeping in them?

Because that's the rule.

Everyone knows everyday

starts off with a fresh pair of underwear.

Well, there's 24-hours Ina

day, so technically...

I'm still good.

I better not catch you

trying to squeeze another day out of those.

Yes, mom.

Look, you're letting

whatever that voodoo lady

said get to you, and

that's completely nuts.

Seora Maria has a gift.

Yeah, and it's called hustling!

Wait.

Aren't you going to fold my underwear?!

Hm?

You're stacking, see how I fold yours.

That's how you do it!

Do you really expect me to fold this?

Yes!

It's like trying to do origami.

Now please tell me that this

has something to do with

voodoo lady, because this is

the most intense conversation

about underwear, anyone has ever had!

She said we have to hold

off on getting married.

It's not a big deal.

It just means she has to

read you or us again.

This is about yourfamily, isn't it?

It has nothing to do with Seora Maria.

She's just a excuse.

No, Jack.

Maria, I promise I will change

your father's mind about me...

Because he's your family.

But there is no way in hell I'm

going to see the fortune teller.

Now if you believe in her,

that's fine, that's your thing.

But I will never be told

by some "magic lady"

who I can and can't marry.

And neither should you.

Look Maria, I love you.

That's all you need to know.

I love you too, Jack.

Our first fight.

You know what this can mean?

What?

Our first make-up sex.

Ohh.

God I love firsts.

Not on the underwear!!!

Good morning, baby.

Time to tell my parents the good news.

Have you seen any of my hair ties around?

I love this game.

I found one in my cereal the other day.

Come on we have to go.

Ready?

Bring it on.

No pausing.

Go!

Favorite musician?

-Black-eyed peas.-Katy Perry.

Favorite movie?

-Star Wars.-The Notebook.

Favorite food?

-French fries.-Chinese.

Uhh, favorite position?

-Quarterback.-On top.

Wow!

You were right.

This is definitely the best

way to get to know someone.

No, no.

I thought you meant...

I said position.

And look where you went.

You set me up!

You totally set me up!!

It was your game.

Wait a minute, why am I embarrassed?

You just admitted to liking Katy Perry.

What's wrong with Katy Perry?

Nothing, if you're a tween.

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