A Day at the Races Page #3

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Come on. Come on.

You look like a sport. Come on, boss.

Don't be a crunger for one buck.

Thank you.

- What's this?

- That's the horse.

How'd he get in here?

Get your ice cream.

Tootsie-fruitsie ice cream.

"Z-V-B-X-R-P-L."

I had that same horse

when I had my eyes examined.

Hey, ice cream.

What about this optical illusion

you slipped me? I don't understand it.

That's not the real name of the horse.

That's the name in code.

Look in your codebook.

- What do you mean, "code"?

- Look in the codebook.

- That will tell you what horse you got.

- I haven't got any codebook.

- You don't got one?

- You know where I can get one?

Well, just by accident, I think

I've got one right here. Here you are.

- How much is it?

- That's free.

- Oh, thanks.

- Just a $ 1 printing charge.

Well, give me one without printing.

I'm sick of printing.

Come on. You want to win?

- Yeah, sure. Of course I want to win.

- Well, then you've got to have this.

But I don't want the savings

of a lifetime...

...wiped out in the twinkling

of an eye.

- Here.

- Thank you very much.

Ice cream...

"Z-V-B-X-R-P-L, page 34."

Hey, ice cream, I can't make head

or tail out of this.

That's all right. Look in the master

codebook. That will tell you where to look.

Master code? I haven't got

any master codebook.

- You don't got a master codebook?

- Do you know where I can get one?

Well, just by accident, I think

I've got one right here. There you are.

A lot of quick accidents around here

for a quiet neighborhood.

- Is there a printing charge on this?

- No.

Oh, thanks.

Just a $2 delivery charge.

Delivery charge?

I'm standing right next to you.

Well, for such a short distance,

I make it $ 1.

Couldn't I move over here

and make it 50 cents?

Yes, but I'd move over here

and make it $ 1 just the same.

Say, maybe I'd better

open a charge account, eh?

You got some references?

The only one I know

around here is you.

That's no good.

You'll have to pay cash.

A little while ago, I could have put $2

on Sun-Up and avoided all this.

Yeah, throw your money away.

Thank you very much.

- I'm all set, huh?

- Yes, sir.

Get your tootsie-fruitsie ice cream.

- Master code, master code, plain code.

- Get your ice cream...

...tootsie-fruitsie.

Get your tootsie-fruitsie...

"Z-V-B-X-R-P-L. The letter Z stands for J

unless the horse is a filly. "

- Get your tootsie-fruitsie...

- Hey, tootsie-fruitsie.

- Is the horse a filly?

- Don't know. Look in your breeder's guide.

Get your ice cream...

What do you mean?

I haven't got any breeder's guide.

You haven't got a breeder's guide?

Not so loud. I don't want it to get around

that I haven't got a breeder's guide.

Even my best friends don't know

I haven't got a breeder's guide.

Well, boss, I feel pretty sorry for you,

walking around without a breeder's guide.

Why, you're just throwing

your money away...

...buying those other books

without a breeder's guide.

Where can I get one?

As though I didn't know.

One is no good.

You got to have the whole set.

Get your tootsie-fruitsie...

You know, all I wanted was a horse,

not a public library.

- What do you mean? How much is a set?

- One dollar.

- One dollar?

- Yeah. Four for $5.

Give me the four of them.

There's no use throwing away money.

All right, here you are.

This is all I'm buying too.

I didn't want so many...

- I thought you could do this quickly.

- There you are.

Six dollars on Sun-Up.

- Get your tootsie-fruitsie ice cream.

- Breeder's guide.

Get your ice cream.

- "Z-V-B-X-R-P-L is Burns. "

- Yeah, that's right.

- Burns?

- Yeah.

Some days it gives you the name

of the jockey instead of the horse.

You find out who jockey Burns is riding,

and that's the horse you bet on. It's easy.

Get your ice cream, tootsie-fruitsie.

I'm getting the idea of it.

I didn't get it for a long time.

It's pretty tricky when you don't

know it, isn't it?

It's not that book.

- It's not that book.

- It's not that book?

Oh, I see.

No. It's not that book.

Not that book.

- Nope. Nope. It's not that book.

- It's not?

No, you haven't got that book.

You've got it, huh?

I'll get it in a minute, though, won't I?

Get your tootsie-fruitsie.

I'm getting a fine tootsie-fruitsying

right here.

Get your ice cream.

- How much is it?

- One dollar.

- And it's the last book I'm buying.

- Sure, you don't need no more. Here.

Now, here's a...

Here's a $ 10 bill.

- Shoot the change, will you?

- I got no change.

I'll have to give you nine more books.

You don't mind.

- You take nine more books.

- Nine more?

- You don't handle any bookcases, do you?

- Well, you come tomorrow again.

- I didn't know that you needed...

- You're gonna win today.

I thought you just walk up

and bet on a horse.

- Open!

- Am I shedding books down there?

Close! Close! That's it.

It's a good thing I brought

my legs with me, eh?

- Now, what horse have I got?

- It's right here.

- I just heard the fella blowing his horn.

- Here it is.

Jockey Burns, 152.

That's Rosie.

- Rosie, yeah?

- Look! Oh, boy! Look, 40-to-1!

- 40-to-1, huh?

- Oh, what a horse!

Am I gonna give that bookie a whipping!

I was going to bet on Sun-Up at 10-to-1.

- Look, it's 40-to-1.

- I'll show them a thing or two.

Hey, there, big boy.

Two dollars on Rosie, eh?

Sorry, that race is over.

- I say the race is over.

- Over? Who won?

- Sun-Up.

- Sun-Up! That's my horse! Sun-Up.

Sun-Up. Hurry up. Sun-Up.

Goodbye, boss. Goodbye. Sun-Up.

Ten, 20, 30... Sun-Up! Forty, 50...

Get your tootsie-fruitsie. Nice ice cream.

Nice tootsie-fruitsie ice cream.

- Oh, Miss Standish?

- Yes?

- These calls came while you were out.

- Oh, thank you.

Hello.

- Mr. Stewart?

- I'm still out.

I'm sorry. Miss Standish is still out.

Yes, Mr. Whitmore.

What about that call

to the Florida medical board?

What? Well, keep on trying.

Call me the moment you get it.

You can't even get any action

out of your telephone operator.

Don't worry. I'll get the dope

on that Florida quack.

Now, listen, I want to turn this place into

a gambling casino before the season ends.

With my racetrack, my nightclub

and this...

...I'll have every sucker in America here,

but every day counts.

- I'll let you know when I get the call.

- I'll be waiting.

Doctor, may I have one

of your photographs?

Why, I haven't one.

I could let you have my footprints,

but they're upstairs in my socks.

I want to announce your association

with the sanitarium.

We'll send your picture

to all the papers.

- Florida papers?

- Yes. It'd be wonderful publicity.

Publicity? We mustn't have any of that.

You know, the ethics of my profession.

But we have to get new patients.

Well, after all, the old patients

were good enough for your father.

Besides, who wants to see my picture?

I'm not a famous man. I'm just a simple

country doctor with horse sense.

Oh, you're too modest.

- We'll forget about the pictures.

- That's better.

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