A Day at the Races Page #6

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What more could anyone ask?

Say, did you sneak out of here?

Oh, there you are.

Isn't this too, too devastating?

You mind carving?

I can't reach the steak from here.

Me?

Yes?

Hey, doc. Hey, doc, can you see us?

If I can't, there's something wrong

with my glasses.

You mean, her? She's the one?

We fix her.

Oh, baby, you look good to me!

Oh, stop it!

Wait a minute.

I thought you came here to see me.

Well, I can see you from here.

Get up, you...

You know my friend.

Oh, no. Not for me,

three men on a horse.

What is the meaning of this?

Why, you little pest.

What's the matter with you mugs?

Haven't you got any gallantry?

She's with Whitmore.

She's trying to frame you.

Wouldn't mind framing her.

A prettier picture I've never seen.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Hey, doc. Doc, I'm telling you a secret!

She's out to get you!

Why, I've never been so insulted

in my life.

Well, it's early yet.

I'm leaving. I'm not going to stay here

with these men.

You're not leaving. They're leaving.

I want you fellas to get out.

- Oh, my cape!

- Come back here with my woman.

You fellas are busting up

a beautiful romance.

Get her out.

She's going to make trouble.

You're wrong. This is my aunt. She's

come to talk over some family matters.

I wish I had an aunt look like that.

Well, take it up with your uncle.

Hey, doc. Doc, you're playing with fire.

- You didn't mind getting scorched.

- I got fire insurance.

Well, you better get accident.

Scram. Blow.

How do you like those cheap chiselers

horning in on us?

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- How about a little Scotch?

- Why, I'd love it.

Oh, I'll ring for some.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Will you have the bellhop

hop up with some hop Scotch?

I'll flip you to see who pays for it.

Oh, doctor.

I'm O'Reilly, the house detective.

Don't talk so loud.

Your mustache will drop off.

Have you got a woman in here?

If I haven't, I've wasted 30 minutes

of valuable time.

You better get her out.

This is the last time I'll tell you.

The last time? Can I depend on that?

Yes, because this time,

I'm going to stay all night.

- This looks like a tough case.

- So does this.

I think I'll call me assistant.

If you're looking for my fingerprints,

you're a little early.

When you're through

with that steak, chew him.

Pull in your ears.

You're coming to a tunnel.

Get along, little doggies.

Get along, little doggies.

It's been a nice, quiet dinner.

How do you know?

You haven't had any yet. Shall we?

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Tomato soup?

Have you got a can opener?

Oh, here it is.

Oh, I'm really not hungry.

Couldn't we just sit over here?

I want to be near you.

I want you to hold me.

Oh, hold me closer.

Closer. Closer.

If I hold you any closer,

I'll be in back of you.

You're so comforting.

The Hackenbushes, we're all like that.

Shall we sit down and bat it around?

You're a little near-seated...

A little nearsighted, aren't you?

Oh, no. There's nobody else going

to get in. I bolted the door.

Say, fun is fun.

We come to hang the paper.

How about hanging yourself instead?

- Well, I'm going to stay right here.

- Thank you.

That's right. You work that side, I work

this side, and we meet on the ceiling.

You'll wind up on the gallows

is my prediction.

I must be a citizen.

I just got my second papers.

Looks like a wet track tomorrow, Stuffy.

- I think Stuffy's is the one with water.

- I'll see that he's dismissed immediately.

What's going on?

Good gracious!

You're mistaken. There's no woman here.

- What are they...?

- No?

Hugo!

What are you doing?

I'm having the place done over.

It'll make a lovely honeymoon suite.

- Good...

- You better go, dear.

- We're tearing up the floor next.

- Oh, my.

Come, Mr. Whitmore.

I've a few words to say to you.

Boys, you were wonderful.

You saved my life.

I'll get even. You... You dirty, low-down,

cheap, double-crossing snake.

Thank you.

Hugo, speak to me.

I said I was sorry about last night.

I never should have mistrusted you.

Isn't there anything I can do

to make you forgive me?

You could take over the notes

from Miss Standish.

Then would you forgive me?

Well, it would help.

Emily, I can't hide it any longer.

I love you.

Oh, Hugo.

It's the old, old story, boy meets girl.

Romeo and Juliet.

Minneapolis and St. Paul.

Mrs. Upjohn.

Judy has the papers ready

for you to sign.

Later, later. Can't you see we're busy?

It's all right.

I'll remember where I left off.

Must they do that now?

Mrs. Upjohn, just a moment, please.

Mrs. Upjohn, may I present

Dr. Leopold X. Steinberg of Vienna?

And this is Dr. Hackenbush.

Doctor. I have a few questions

I would like to ask you.

I've got a question I'd like to ask you.

Steinberg, what do you do

with your old razorblades?

I've been telling Dr. Steinberg

about your unusual case.

Yes, and I would like to know what

is this ailment, double blood pressure?

Dr. Hackenbush tells me

I'm the only case in history.

I have high blood pressure on my right side

and low blood pressure on my left side.

There is no such thing.

She looks as healthy

as any woman I've met.

You don't look like

you ever met a healthy woman.

- What?

- Gentlemen, gentlemen.

There's a very simple way to settle this.

Why not examine Mrs. Upjohn?

- Splendid, splendid.

- Right this way, Mrs. Upjohn.

Dr. Hackenbush will show you,

then I insist that you apologize to him.

Come, Hugo. The idea!

Hey, doc, where you going?

If Steinberg examines her, we're through.

- I'm through right now.

- You're not.

You gotta get in there.

Do anything, but stop Steinberg. Hurry.

I'll say. I'm hopping the next

banana boat for Central America.

Hey, doc, where you going?

Wait, doc. Wait.

It's all right with me. Go right ahead.

I'm not sleeping here tonight.

- It's Hi Hat.

- Nonsense. That's a horse.

No, it's Hi Hat. We hide him in the closet

so the sheriff can't find him.

Is that so?

He's not going to find me either...

...because I'm leaving here

right away, boys.

Doc, doc, wait a minute, now.

- No, I'll see you again sometime.

- No, doc, please.

See you again, just as soon

as I get my effects.

Old Hackenbush isn't gonna be

with you very long.

- Doc, you can't walk out on us like this.

- I'll say I can't. I'm gonna run out.

You can't go, doc.

If you walk out, where will Judy be?

She won't be in jail,

and that's where I'll be if I stay here.

Besides, what can I do?

- You've got to stop the examination.

- Not today I don't.

Are you a man or a mouse?

You put a piece of cheese down there,

and you'll find out.

Well, it's been nice seeing you.

Oh, no, you don't.

You leave, it's over my dead body.

Well, that's a pleasant way to travel.

All right. Now, look, doc. You can't

leave Miss Judy in a fix like this.

- I know, but the sheriff...

- Doc, doc.

If you leave now,

Judy loses the sanitarium.

All right. I'll stay.

You're gonna stay?

I knew you'd do it, doc.

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