A Farewell to Fools Page #3

never happened in this village.

So tell him, Father.

Can you imagine

a solemn ceremony...

sung by a choir

of all the villagers?

Yes!

Everybody will be there.

The whole village!

All the veterans

from World War I...

will be holding their flags

in your honor.

In honor of your war, Theodore.

Think of it... A band will

play whatever you wish!

Soldier Thodore 11th

bataillon des Grenadiers!

And then flowers!

- Roses, irises.

- Orchids!

Hang on!

Where will we get orchids?

Fine, orchids, lilies.

The French flag on your casket.

And speaking of casket,

it'll be of expensive wood.

Which wood would you

prefer, Theodore?

With a cross five feet tall...

No, no, no!

Six feet tall!

Made of white marble.

Black marble.

It's more expensive.

And on the cross,

carved in golden letters,

anything that you wish, Ipu.

And we will call the best

sculptor from the city...

to make a relief of your face.

A relief of what?

Your face will be carved

on the gravestone.

Nobody else has that, Theodore.

As you looked

when you were young.

How did I look when I was young?

Handsome.

Handsome?

Handsome.

Oh, God!

Never mind.

Never mind.

Uh, Alex, bring him

another glass, quick.

And all around the grave

will be a little golden fence.

Yes, that's right.

So the goats can't jump over

and eat your flowers.

Can you feel him?

Even he will bring you

flowers every day.

And you will be happy.

No. I don't believe it.

I don't believe it!

I don't believe it.

But it is nice to hear

these words from you.

Ipu! You know

how that upsets me.

Well...

We have the notary.

Do you have your seal

of approval?

Always.

Write everything down.

Statement between Theodore,

known as Theodore the French,

and our peaceful community...

signed in the presence

of the members...

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I want it with the all fingers.

Tack, tack.

I want it all fingers.

Go get the typewriter.

It's better with all fingers.

George.

Send the notary's assistant to

the rectory with the typewriter.

- Immediately.

- Of course now!

731 solemn prayers.

Black marble.

I already said that.

And the band that will play

the French national anthem.

The square in Ipu's name.

Ipu?

Yes, Theodore.

What an honor

you have granted me.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it's true I haven't done

anything good with my life.

But...

what happens when they kill you?

Nothing. First of all,

it doesn't hurt.

If they hang you, that hurts.

I have heard about a person

suffering for a long time.

He was struggling,

kicking his feet,

trying to touch the ground.

So don't tell me it's painless.

But no one is going to hang you.

They will shoot you, Ipu.

You know very well.

Did it hurt?

No.

You see?

Oh. This... It's good.

Only if their hands are not

shaking with compassion.

The Germans have no compassion.

Oh, shut up, Tibi.

You're drunk.

They won't touch you, Ipu.

They wouldn't hurt an idiot.

Uncle Theodore, my dear,

have a pancake.

Now,

will you be at my funeral,

Father Johannis?

You want another priest?

No.

That would grieve me...

- No.

- Greatly.

Forgive me, but maybe

you'll be too busy.

Ipu!

How can you say such a

thing, dear Theodore?

We will be there to celebrate

your heroic gesture.

You will have

the best sermon ever!

Uh, I want to see it.

How can you see it?

You will be...

I'm saying that I want

to see it now!

It cannot be done!

Let's have a rehearsal,

Father Johannis.

It's sacrilegious.

It can be done!

It can be done!

Everyone into the church!

Let's go!

Ipu, you go ahead.

Yes!

Idiot!

Ah.

This is for Friedrich.

Friedrich. Do you mean?

Mm-hmm.

Wake up, everyone!

What's happening?

Into the church!

What for?

Father Johannis asks.

Wake up, everyone! I don't

have time to explain.

Everyone go to the church!

What's happening here?

- You too!

- Everybody, wake up!

Yes, my whole family.

Put your shoes on.

Whoop! What's your

name, little boy?

Schnaps for Friedrich.

Come on. Shh. Shh.

Ja. Friedrich.

Huh.

Good. We can begin.

Together with all...

Wait, wait.

The flag.

Where is the flag?

The flag.

No! No, wrong...

No. The other flag.

Our flag.

Sh...

You don't have a French flag?

No? No.

No.

Shh!

Together with the souls of the

righteous that have passed,

almighty God,

may the soul of our dear

friend rest in peace.

He has left us to go to a

sacred place of illumination...

where there is no suffering.

Dear brothers, today

we are gathered together...

in front of the remains

of Uncle Theodore,

who was one of our most beloved

and respected citizens,

one of the most valiant heroes

of our village,

someone who has

sacrificed himself...

so that all of us may live,

someone whose noble gesture

has prevented our village...

from being destroyed

by fire and sword.

He has sacrificed himself

like a lamb...

so others may live...

and our village may prosper.

Have you gone crazy? He's

just pretending to be dead.

Welcome our son in your kingdom,

where all the wretched

may come to rest.

God, it was such

a wonderful service.

Yes. Father Johannis was great.

Look!

This place is very good for a hero.

Under the wall is not

a good place for a hero.

The sun never reaches here.

Ah.

There! There!

Yeah.

This is a place for a hero.

There!

Ipu!

There!

Ipu!

Ipu!

There's the place.

There. There. There.

Under that big tree, this is

the right place for a hero.

There.

Start digging here.

Hey, what are you doing? You want

to lay a crazy man next to my wife?

- That is my spot.

- Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Be quiet.

Shh.

Ipu?

Ipu. What?

Damn it.

I told you... Theodore.

This stone is temporary.

You don't want to be buried

without a stone.

And this is the fence

around your monument.

We agreed that it will

be made of gold.

By tomorrow morning

it will be ready.

Gold plated!

Yes, gold plated.

Wait!

I want to do it for real.

Attention!

Oh, yeah. Ah.

Oh.

I am ready.

Is it a hero's farewell?

Throw down some dirt.

More.

And flowers.

Oh. It's beautiful.

It's beautiful.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Ah.

It's beautiful.

It's beautiful.

Flowers. Beautiful.

Oh.

It's beautiful.

Beautiful.

So, do you like it?

Do you accept?

Hold it.

Sure.

Yes! So I say!

- Ah!

- He said it.

Bravo, Theodore. Bravo.

Thank you!

We still have time

for a glass of wine, huh?

We are done with me.

What about the others?

The others?

What do you mean?

I'm talking about my family.

You have a family?

Who are they?

My wife.

- What?

- Flora Toia.

Did you forget you legally

separated 23 years ago...

at the city hall, in court?

Yes! In court,

but not in my soul.

And there is also my daughter,

Tania, who is a bit simple.

And also my brother-in-law,

Filip,

who came back an invalid

from the war.

Without me,

they will be left helpless.

If that's what's worrying you,

- we will take care of them, right?

- Yes!

I want to be sure of it.

Cheers.

How should we help them?

With money?

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