A Fish Called Wanda Page #6

Synopsis: In London, George Thomason, his seductive American girlfriend Wanda Gershwitz, and their associate Ken Pile are planning their latest crime, a diamond heist that should net them £13 million. They plan on leaving the country with the goods after the heist. On Wanda's recommendation, they enlist the help of her brother, Otto, a weapons expert, for this heist. In reality, Otto is not Wanda's brother, but her latest lover, a dimwit who gets off on his own body odor, who believes he's an intellectual because he reads Nietzsche, and who does not tolerate being called stupid by anyone. Wanda has one weakness in men which is how Otto was able to get her to be his lover: speaking Italian in seduction. Wanda and Otto plan to double cross George by having him arrested for the heist, while they abscond with the jewels. Wanda further plans to triple cross Otto by eliminating him from the picture after she has the jewels. They are able to get George arrested with him not knowing who tipped the polic

Genre: Comedy, Crime

Director(s): Charles Crichton, John Cleese

Actors: John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin

Production: MGM

Won 1 Oscar. Another 8 wins & 18 nominations.


IMDB:: 7.6
Metacritic:: 80
Rotten Tomatoes:: 93%

A Fish Called Wanda Movie Quotes »

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: R
Year:: 1988
: 108 min
: 1,823 Views

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if you told me.
OK, I'll tell Bartlett.
Where's Ken? He's at the flat.
WAILING:
SOBS:
I'll be right out.
Taxi! Taxi! Sh*t!
Taxi! Come on!
What? Let's go! Where? Buenos Aires.
What? We're going to George's flat
first. Get in!
Got your passport? Yeah. Check
the briefcase for mine. Get down.
You did the robbery,
shopped one lover,
kept the other to find the diamonds,
and when he does, you turn him in.
Everyone does it in America!
They don't here! No-one lies
in England, not even Thatcher(!)
You lied to me! You just wanted
to get me into bed!
I fell in love with you!
How come you dumped me then?
I wasn't rich enough, remember?
Say something in Russian? No!
What are you thinking, Archie?
Why I should take you
to South America with me.
How about because I have
the key to the safety deposit box?
That's a good reason!
What about Otto? I'll handle Otto.
He's dangerous.
So am I.
Keep it running.
Why did you bring him?
Otto, just wait!
I think you like that... Wait!
Let's get the diamonds.
Ken? Are you Ken?
How do you do?
I'm George's barrister.
CRUNCH AS CARS COLLIDE
A**hole!
GUNSHO:
Archie!
Where have they gone?
Quick! Where have they gone?
They've g-gone... What?
KEN GASPS:
Are you all right?
They've gone to the Cath... Cath...
Are you ill?
I've g-go... Cath...
Have you got a stutter?
Y-Yeah... A bit. OK, don't worry.
Do you know where they've gone?
Yes. Fine. Where?
The Cath... Hotel.
Hotel?
Which hotel?
The Cath...
The Cath... The Cath...
Go on.
The Cath...
Wait, wait!
Slowly. Very slowly.
The Cath...
The Cath...
The Cath... The Cath...
No hurry.
Sing it!
STRANGLED CRY:
# The Cath...!
# The Cath...! The Cath...! #
Plenty of time.
The Cath...
The Cath...
OH, COME ON! I'm sorry.
Wait.
The Cath...
Write it!
The Cathcart Towers Hotel?
The Cathcart Towers Hotel.
Where is it? Ken, where is it?
Where?
Hea... Hea...
Again!
Heathrow Airport.
MAN:
Hey! What's the idea?!
You can't stay here!
Take it. It's yours!
Thank you. British Airways to Rio?
Terminal 4, sir. Thank you.
Is this your vehicle, sir?
I'll be right back.
Aisle, window? Smoking, non-smoking?
What was the middle one? Anything
in non-smoking is fine. Gate 14.
Rio!
There's a cop behind us. Quick!
We can just do it, Mr Leach. Great!
Luggage?
I don't really need any.
Gate 14.
Ciao, stupidissimo!
Ow! Aaah!
GUNSHOTS:
Come on, Archie. Pick up the phone!
Sir! Airport Security. May I see
your boarding pass? Certainly.
Please step over here.
Look, the Queen! Where?
Hup!
OK, don't get excited!
It's you! I was actually worried
for a minute!
Hands up! No! Up!
I'll make a deal with you. I'll put
one up. Put the other one up!
Which looks better?
I'm warning you, Otto. What are you
going to do, Archie? Shoot me?
Gun me down? If you want to settle
something with me, then fight me!
You're a man, aren't you?
Let's fight like men! All right.
All right, then. OK.
OK.
You look good, Arch.
I used to box for Oxford.
Yeah? I used to kill for the CIA.
Get your hands up.
No.
You spineless bimbo!
Now, out!
I'll have to shoot you, but I've
some time before my plane leaves
and I'm longing to humiliate you.
Get in that barrel.
What? In the barrel!
Right!
You English think
you're so superior!
You're the filth of the planet!
A bunch of pompous,
poverty-stricken,
sexually-repressed
football hooligans!
Goodbye!
At least we're not irretrievably
vulgar! You don't like winners!
Winners? Yeah, winners.
Winners like North Vietnam?
Shut up! We did not lose Vietnam.
It was a tie!
AMERICAN ACCENT:
I'm telling you,
they kicked a little ass there!
They whipped your hide real good!
They didn't. They did.
They didn't. Oh, yes, they did!
Oh, no, they... Shut up!
Goodbye, Archie. Going to shoot me?
'Fraid so, old chap! Sorry!
Look!
Revenge!
It's K-Ken coming to k-kill me!
How are you going
to c-catch me, K-Ken?
Now where was I? Oh, yeah.
Sh*t!
Stupid f***ing limey cement!
Ken! Ken! Wait, wait, Ken!
Kenny! May I call you Kenny?
Revenge for Wanda!
OK, 60-40!
That's my final offer! Revenge!
I've got an idea. You take it all.
Here's my boarding pass! Ken!
I'm going to k-kill you!
OK, fine. Give me your best shot.
You don't have the guts. Admit it!
OK, you have the guts. Good. Wait!
Death!
All right.
I'm sorry I ate your fish, OK?
Revenge!
Jesus! I said I'm sorry. What the...
Got him!
Got you, Ken. You bastard!
Hey! I've lost my stutter!
It's gone!
I can speak! How much wood
could a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Boarding pass, sir.
SHE SIGHS:
Buongiorno, signorina.
Now listen. Two things.
One - behave yourself from now on
or I'll break your neck, OK?
Two...
Gorbachev, Glasnost...
Molotov!
Blinis...
Er, Lenin.
OTTO MOUTHS:
Pushkin. Chicken Kiev.
Good. Dostoyevsky.
Roubles.
PLANE ENGINE ROARS
Ass-h-o-l-e!

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John Cleese

John Marwood Cleese (born 27 October 1939) is an English actor, voice actor, screenwriter, producer, and comedian. He achieved success at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and as a scriptwriter and performer on The Frost Report. In the late 1960s, he co-founded Monty Python, the comedy troupe responsible for the sketch show Monty Python's Flying Circus and the four Monty Python films: And Now for Something Completely Different, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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A Fish Called Wanda Page #6

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