A Good Day to Be Black & Sexy Page #3

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I'm not the b*tch.

I think you got the wrong

number for real.

You have a problem

with your husband,

not me, cow.

Well, is there something

i can help you with?

Hey, you know what?

You know what?

You know what?

How long is this

been going on, helena?

About eight months, jade.

You love him?

Maybe.

Do you?

What the f*** do you think?

What do you think?

I took the ring,

the last name,

The bills, the debt,

the child support,

everything!

Yes, i love him.

How would you feel if

somebody came and destroyed

your family?

Think about my children.

Think about how they're

gonna feel.

You're f***ing

my sh*t up.

Hey, baby, it's me.

Let's do lunch

or something tomorrow, okay?

- Call me.

Hey, this is

my second message.

I know you pretend

to be busy with your job

that you're never at.

But call a sister back.

I wanna talk to you.

Bye.

Okay, dre, what is

with the ice?

I don't understand

why you're not returning

my calls.

This is call three.

It should be strike three.

You're acting like an ass.

You know my number.

ain't never wanted you

so bad

won't you come

around here?

no games...

- Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

Watch it, girl.

Good, though.

- Watch your manners.

- What?

Why do you want

some of my fries?

'Cause i want some.

Okay, just 'cause

you want some-- Give me

some of your fries.

I don't have anymore,

that's why i'm asking you

for some of yours.

- Oh.

- Come on.

- You're not gonna

let me have none?

- No.

- Damn, you stingy.

- I ain't stingy.

You ate all your fries.

You wanna get my fries?

You can share.

You didn't share yours.

You ate all yours.

You didn't ask me

for none.

- Unreal.

- Oh, man, you're wacked.

Oh, i'm wacked 'cause you

ate all your fries?

It's my fault--

Look!

Oh, you're a liar!

You just put one in your mouth.

- That was

the last one i had.

- The last one?

- Ooh!

That was the last one.

I'm glad i didn't give you

none of my fries.

It was hid up

under my chicken.

Man, whatever.

Whatever.

It was hid under the chicken.

I didn't know i had no more.

Man you're-- Ooh!

You're a liar.

- No, i ain't.

- That's a lie.

You're cheap.

Stupid.

- Give them to me.

- Get off of me.

Hum-uh.

Quit. Quit. Quit.

Quit.

Oh, you ain't seen

these yet, huh?

Seen what?

- Your hands clean?

- My hand is clean.

Look at meagan's

ugly ass.

She's always looking

mean, man.

She just ruined

the picture, baby.

- Shut up.

- What?

Don't talk about

my friend like that.

She looks mean!

Don't be mad at me

'cause your friend ugly.

Don't be mad at--

Mmm.

Look at Jill, though.

Whoo.

Damn!

Yo, i got to have

this one, straight up.

- Jill is the--

- I don't think so.

- Let me-- What?

- No.

But you can have

one of me.

- Is Jill in it?

- No.

To my crazy

Play brother,

Stay cool

And don't forget

To take your medication.

You're funny.

"Love, tam-tam."

Leave it up there

on the dashboard.

Let me get one

of jill, though.

- Let me get Jill.

- No.

You keep that one.

- Why can't i have Jill?

- Because you don't need

Jill. You got me.

- I need Jill.

- No, you--

- Give me my picture.

- No no.

- Give me--

- I'm gonna keep it.

I'm gonna keep it.

- You're making me mad.

- I ain't--

I don't wanna make you mad.

Anyway, were you

hiding my birthday gift?

You just finished eating it.

- What?

- What you mean what?

You just finished

eating it.

- Happy birthday.

- You joking, right?

- Nope.

- You didn't get me

nothing else?

Well...

- What? I mean, you could

unwrap it, baby.

You could unwrap it.

- Oh, f*** you, nigga.

- Why you trippin'?

- That's wack.

- That's not--

That's not wack.

You didn't get me

nothing else?

I've got something

else for you...

If you want it.

- What, you mad now?

- Yeah, i'm mad.

- You mad? I'm sorry.

- Don't touch me.

Don't touch me.

- No. That's not nice.

- Why you being mad?

Why are you being mad?

Don't be mad. I'm just--

I'm just playing.

- Don't touch me, jabari.

- I'm just playing.

- Whatever. Don't touch me.

- I'm playing. I'm playing.

You're right,

you are playing.

- You're a damn joke.

- Where are you--

Where are you going?

Yo, where are you going?

And don't be slamming

my door!

Yo!

What's wrong with you?

Can't even light it.

Just get back

in the car.

Just get back in the car.

Get back in the car.

I told you it ain't

gonna work.

Just get back

in the car.

It's a dud.

You feeling better?

What you get

for buying cheap firework.

That's why it won't work.

Ha!

Hello, world!

Here i am.

Tamala brown--

A young, sexy,

Talented, black,

phenomenal woman

Who has 365 more days

To figure out me.

Ain't that something?

What's your contribution

to the world today?

- Oh, what's my

contribution?

- Huh?

I'll show you

my contribution.

There.

That's my contribution--

A rice krispie treat.

- What?

- Why you act like

such a d*ckhead?

You looked like

the black statue of liberty

out there

- With the thing.

- Ha ha.

- I'm sorry.

- Yeah, you sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm being a ass.

Yeah, you are being

an ass.

- Come on. Come on.

- That hurts.

- All right, jabari, god.

- What hurts?

- I'm just trying to--

- You're poking me in my side.

I'm trying to--

I'm trying to be cool

with ya.

You need to clean

your nose.

- I'm just--

- No, don't touch me.

Don't touch me.

- I'm just trying to--

- Don't touch me.

- I just want you to be--

- Get that out of your nose!

Stop it!

All right.

See? See?

- Being bad, that's all.

- All right.

That's all.

Born to trip,

that's what it is.

Just born to trip.

Wait. Wait.

Jabari, just wait.

Come on.

Come on.

God.

Sorry.

Yeah, you're sorry.

- What?

- Yeah, you're sorry.

You know what?

Just take me home, okay?

No.

That ain't gonna work.

That ain't gonna work.

- What does that mean?

- What you mean,

what that mean?

Either you give it up

or get to stepping.

Don't look at me like

you don't know what

the f*** i'm talking about.

Either you give it up

or get to stepping.

It's your choice.

I've tried

to be nice to you.

What's it gonna be?

I missed you.

Oh, yeah.

Oh!

Whoa.

- Stop that.

- What?

That thing

that you're doing.

- Why?

- I don't like that.

Why?

Stop it, okay?

- Why?

- 'Cause i don't get down

like that, that's why.

Things are supposed

to go out, not in.

Who says?

Hmm?

- God.

- No, he didn't.

- Yes, he did. No no.

- What are you doing?

Hey, baby.

- Nuh-uh.

- Oh, sweetheart.

No no no!

Get your hand

out of my ass.

Hey.

Hey hey hey.

Hey. Hmm?

- Relax.

Baby, come on.

We were having such

a good time.

Yeah, i know that, but...

Look, i just don't

wanna do this.

- Oh, come on.

- I just--

I don't feel

comfortable doing it.

Baby, i want you

to do it to me.

- Okay.

- Mm-Hmm?

Really?

- Yeah, i'll do it to you.

- Mm-Hmm.

Tell you what:

If you get out of this,

i'll take my shorts off.

- I'll bet you i'll beat you.

Oh.

- I'm done.

- You can watch now.

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