A Haunted House 2 Page #9

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- Go!

- Are you crazy?

Is that all you got, b*tch?

Wait, guys! Stop! Everybody stop!

- Malcolm, are you okay?

- No, I think I'm gonna be sick.

What?

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, my God, I can't...

- Puking like a runway model.

- I'm good. I'm good.

You're gonna want to

Febreeze all of this.

You're gonna wanna just clean this.

I feel so much better now.

Can't be too sure. Oh, sh*t.

I gotta get the hell outta here.

Once they see a black

guy in a pool of blood...

you know who they're

gonna come after next..

I gotta go.

- Now this place is clean.

- It sounded better when I said it.

Get the box.

- Thank you, guys, so much.

- No need to thank us.

We're happy to help. Come on, Ned.

And we'll just take

Abigail with us...

as well, for safekeeping.

Yeah, I know what you plannin'

on doing with that doll.

- No, I'm a professional.

- She's a freak b*tch.

Stop it.

How come Noreen ain't

pickin' up on the vibes?

You know how when you

try to last longer...

you think about baseball?

It's kind of like that.

Throws a haze in their head.

It's the only way to survive

when you're married to a psychic.

Come on, Ned.

I know you're thinking

about f***ing that doll.

- You're had enough.

- Bye, doll.

It's so nice being able to

just relax on the couch...

and watch "The Bachelorettes".

- You didn't hear that?

- What?

My nigga senses is tinglin'.

It's like my Spidey senses.

Would you hush? It is fine!

My white senses say we're fine.

Everything's okay. It's over.

- Okay? It's over.

- Okay, okay. I'm trippin'.

Listen to that, whiteness!

You already know how it's

going down, motherfuckers...

all right?

I looked in my Dora

the Explorer app...

this the motherfuckin'

correct address.

This ain't a drive-by, homie,

okay? This a walk-in, homie.

So ain't no escapin'! My

cousin is in here, Cuz!

Y'all ready?

Hey, yo, Malcolm!

Whassup my niggie? I'm here, Cuz!

What the f*** are you

doin', man? I gotta...

This is bullshit! Oh, my God!

I'm scared as f***!

I'm good, dog.

Let me get my motherfuckin'

bearings together, homie.

All right, let's

go up in there, Cuz.

It smell like dead ass...

Baloney and sweat socks

up in there, homie.

It smell like Honey Boo

Boo's boo-boo, homie!

Malcolm?

Where you at, Cuz?

Ain't nobody in here, Cuz.

Oh, sh*t! Megan got f***ed up!

Head twisted all backwards, niggie.

Now, upon further

examination, my niggie...

this white b*tch smell

like she been dead...

about a week, maybe two.

I watch "Dexter",

niggie, "CSI New York"...

"Love 'N Hip-Hop Atlanta".

Don't nobody get killed on

there, but they need to, my nigga.

Stevie J, you know what I'm sayin'?

This b*tch smell like poverty, Cuz!

Tae kwon do! Oh, sh*t!

They done killed the little

mini white b*tch, too, Cuz!

F*** happened down here, Cuz?

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, sh*t! There's

another dead body, Cuz.

Who the f*** is it,

though? Who the f*** is it?

Oh, God, it's Malcolm!

They done kill my Cuz, Cuz!

It's like Boyz 'N the Hood,

he's supposed to go to college!

Why the f*** they let Dough

Boy live and Ricky dead?

Dough Boy was the evil nigga, Cuz!

I can't believe it!

See if the nigga got

some money, though.

What you hit me for, Cuz?

You know better than to be

poppin' up on me like that, Cuz!

You get knocked out every

motherfuckin' time, homie.

World star! World star!

You hit me with a brick!

Where's my family? Are they okay?

Nigga, they dead as butt!

All of them? Even the little boy?

He's on the back of a

motherfuckin' milk carton, niggie!

Good. He may have lived.

Where's Kisha?

Nigga, I don't know where

the f*** Kisha is at, Cuz!

- She did this sh*t!

- Kisha did this sh*t?

The white girl's

neck, snapped it back.

- Kisha did that sh*t?

- That b*tch is gangsta, Cuz!

I need to jump on her

and mount her, Cuz!

I came down to the basement

on some creep sh*t...

I was just sittin' here

waitin' for this b*tch like:

"Nigga, what?" "B*tch,

you want some of this?

"So I'm gonna stay

here incog-negro...

up under this blanket

like nigga, like what.

Let my sneakers be

all, so she be like...

"That nigga be dead."

Then all like, "B*tch,

you want some of this?"

You can't kill me!

I'm like a roach!

I don't die, I multiply!

I got God on my side, b*tch!

Twinkle, twinkle little star...

She's right behind me, isn't she?

How I wonder...

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