A Hole in the Head Page #12

For he's a jolly good fellow...

What's the matter, Pop?

Nothing, Ally. Where's Uncle Mario?

Jolly good fellow? Jolly good bum.

- (knocking)

- Come in.

Well, come in, come in. The champ.

Blow the bugle. He wants to brag how

he got it. He wants us to turn blue again.

- Oh, Mario.

- All your life I took care of you.

Paid your loans, your operations, your

debts. Now you go to somebody else?

A perfect stranger.

You do this to your brother?

You know

what Mama and Papa would say?

Who do you think you are? God?

Look at him.

Come on, Tony, sit down.

Tell us. What's the matter?

I lost the money and I lost the car.

I haven't got a dime.

Same old Tony.

Did you meet up with a tramp?

Oh, Mario, stop it.

Tony, what is it?

Sophie, Mario, I was wondering if...

Well, would you take Ally to live with you?

Ally? But he don't want to go with us.

I don't care what he wants.

And don't put me through a wringer,

Sophie. Not you.

You're absolutely right, Mario.

I'm nothing but a bum.

Never have been anything but a bum.

I had the money right in my hand.

Then I blew it to impress a guy

who knows me like a book.

Like you know me. Like everybody else

knows me, except me.

A cheap, chiselling, conniving bum.

I don't want Ally to be like that.

So take him with you.

What do you mean, you're a bum?

How can you be? You're my brother.

I can call you a bum. I can kill you.

You're so crazy, you're dri...

All right, so I make conditions when I help

you. Why? So you can be somebody.

But I always help you, don't I? You're

not a bum. Nobody in the family is a bum.

Mama and Papa, when they came here,

what did they have?

Rags on their backs.

But they worked hard. They made good.

You're part of them.

You're part of me, you no-good...

Why don't you stop being so crazy?

Mario, my foot is down. You go

right out there and pay Diamond the rent.

- Just throwing money down the drain.

- Well, what are you saving it for?

- Who you gonna leave it to? Julius?

- Julius...?

I said never again.

All right.

A little boy belongs with his papa.

You'll keep this place here.

You didn't hear me. I don't want handouts.

You need money, don't you? But

a cheque, not to you, only to Diamond.

Maybe he'll come down a little.

If you mention money again, I swear I'll...

I'm sorry, Mario.

Listen, I know what you've been to me.

Like a father, since I was a kid.

- Just do me one more favour.

- I got the chequebook in my hand.

Not that.

I want you to take Ally to live with you.

He's not like me. He's a good kid.

He needs a chance.

I won't go. I won't go.

You can't make me go.

Come here, son.

I think we better talk this over

like a couple of men.

I'm broke. I lost all the money.

- I can't even feed you.

- I don't care.

But tomorrow we may not

even have a place to sleep.

I don't care where we sleep.

Listen, I'm going on the road anyway.

You know me, I'm the champ.

I bounce back like that, right?

So go to New York and live with them.

If you don't like it, I'll put you in a military

school where you can wear those hats

with a strap under the chin

and look like a big general.

No, Pop, I don't wanna be a general.

I wanna be with you. You promised.

Please, Pop, don't send me away.

They don't need me. You need me.

(Ally weeps)

Where'd you get the idea I need you?

I need you like I need a hole in the head.

How can I operate with you around?

I lost Shirl. I lost the hotel. I'm broke.

Only because I had you

on my back all the time.

That's why I couldn't operate.

So you go in there and pack your clothes.

I don't want you around anymore.

- Did you hear what I said?

- OK, I'll go.

But not with them.

Champ.

- Wait a minute, where you going?

- What do you care?

You listen to me. Do as I say.

Go with Uncle Mario.

No.

Ally, he's a little boy at 41 years old

and you're a grown man at 11.

But he loves you, Ally.

He really, truly loves you.

I'll never speak to him again

as long as I live.

You crazy roughneck bum.

(Ally) Fred, I'll miss you.

- Geronimo.

- Geronimo.

It was sweet of you to come and say

goodbye, Mrs Rogers. I really mean it.

Goodbye, Mrs Rogers.

It was very nice meeting you.

Goodbye, Ally.

You cry if you want to.

Come on, now, Ally. Get in the cab.

Mario! Where is he?

You're gonna like it in New York.

We'll give you everything.

Ally, please don't worry.

Yeah, don't worry, Ally.

We'll give you everything.

Fine. Great.

Who's worried about my brother?

- He didn't even say goodbye.

- Goodbye to what? Did you see him?

Tony, my big-shot brother,

standing behind the tree,

watching his son leave him.

What's gonna happen to him?

(Ally) Pop! Pop!

Pop! Pop!

Pop!

Pop! No, Pop. Pop!

Pop, no! Pop!

Pop!

Pop!

No, Pop, please!

Please, Pop, don't make me go.

I won't be a nag.

You won't even know I'm around.

Please, Pop, don't make me go, please.

(Ally weeps) Please, Pop.

For $1 million. First light heavyweight

to hold three crowns?

- For $1 million?

- For $1 million.

- Greta Garbo.

- That's corr... Why, you!

(they laugh)

- What are they doing?

- How would you know?

Did you play with your sons

one day in your life?

Play with who, Julius?

- Save me, Mrs Rogers, save me.

- (she laughs)

Hey, I've got an idea. I just happen

to have three lamb chops at home.

- How about it?

- You got yourself a deal, Eloise.

- Eloise?

- Oh, shut up, nag.

You know that property for a Disneyland?

It's right there. Buy it for a song.

- For he's got...

- High hopes...

The poor things,

they're so happy and so poor.

No, Sophie. Broke, yes,

but they're not poor. We're poor.

Come on, you'll cry later.

The meter's running.

The meter's running, so what?

What do I care?

I could buy you and a hundred meters.

- Let's take a vacation.

- A vacation? What about the store?

Julius is in the store.

- We haven't had a vacation for ten years!

- Oh, Tony! Wait for us, will you?

Geronimo! Tony!

Oops, there goes another problem

Kerplop

Oops, there goes

another problem, kerplop

Oops, there goes another problem

Kerplop

Kerplop!

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