A Hole in the Head Page #11

behind. The whole schedule is tangled.

- Look, tell Alice to cancel the phone call...

- I did.

I don't know what I'd do without her.

Listen, come to the track with me in

the car and explain the whole thing to me.

- To the track?

- I haven't seen you in 100 years.

What's so important it can't wait?

You come down to the track, we have

a drink, lose a little money, it'll relax you.

I got a couple of things to do.

Suppose I can whip 'em right away.

- Maybe an hour or so?

- Wonderful. That'll be great.

- Sweetie!

- I haven't got any pants on, do you mind?

- It's wonderful. It's been a gas, kid.

- Yeah, me too, Jerry.

In an hour.

- That's great.

- I'll see you later.

A wonderful guy. You weren't listening.

- 500. Take it or leave it.

- Six.

- Five.

- Louse.

(bugle fanfare)

(Tannoy) These are the entries

and the weights of the greyhounds.

- Number one, Princess...

- Hey, Tony!

Hey, buddy. Come on over here.

I'm glad you could make it.

It's good you didn't come with me.

I lost two races.

I think my dog is still running. The rabbit's

chasing him. Move over one, honey.

You know all these people? I want you

meet my oldest and best buddy, Tony.

Sit down. Take a load off your feet.

I'd introduce you to them, but I don't know

one name. Police chiefs, mayors...

What about the next race? Do you know

anything about these miserable beasts?

- What do you want to bet on?

- The red one.

- She's got a thing about red dogs. Hey!

- Yes, sir?

- How much you wanna bet, honey?

- 500.

- Here, $500 on the red one, number...?

- Six.

And here's 500 for me.

Same deal. How about you, Tone?

- Oh, yeah. I'll go 500.

- Attaboy.

It's a gas seeing you. I didn't know

you're alive, suddenly here you are.

Hey, Peanuts. Give my buddy a drink.

What are you doing here, vacationing?

- I told you, I'm in the hotel business.

- What's the matter with me?

- You were gonna talk to me about...

- Disneyland.

Right. That sounded like a real good idea.

(Tannoy) Here comes Phoebe.

(cheering)

(cheering obscures speech)

(cheering)

This property down here

can be bought for dirt cheap.

- How cheap is dirt cheap?

- About five million.

- Is the race over? Who won?

- Number six!

- What have we got?

- Number six? That's us! That's our dog!

We had her, number six.

- Here is the result of this race.

- Look at the price she's gonna pay!

I bet you it's over 4,000 bucks apiece.

That's a lucky start.

That's what I like, a lucky partner.

- Shall I cash them in for you, sir?

- Yes, please.

- I gotta make a phone call. Be right back.

- If she's a blonde, tell her to come over.

- Hey, boss, is he bothering you?

- Oh, no, no, no. He's my buddy.

Here, go make a bet. Be happy.

Thanks, boss.

- Garden of Eden.

- That you, Ally? I got the money.

You got the money? Where?

From who? How'd you get it?

Never mind. Tell Uncle Mario. Call Abe

and tell him he can come and get it.

- Oh, boy, Pop.

- I told you our luck would change.

And that ain't all, kid.

When I get home, I'll give you the big one.

(mouths)

You're a doll.

- Yahoo!

- (Fred) Hey, Sally. Hey, Sally.

- Uncle Mario. Uncle Mario.

- Come in.

- Pop just called. He's got the money.

- He's got the money?

- Didn't I tell you he was a champ?

- How could he get it? From a stranger?

I don't know. He just said for me to tell

you and to call Mr Diamond to come over.

Boy, we're gonna celebrate. Fred!

Hurry up, we're gonna give a party.

- Give a party? Yippee.

- Buy some food.

- I'll use the laundry money.

- Invite all the guests.

I'll call Mr Diamond.

Boy, I'll invite Mrs Rogers. Hurry up.

The decorations are in the basement.

How can he do this to me? I came

down here to help him. I'm his brother.

- I should think you'd be glad he got it.

- What, from a stranger?

Oh, for heaven's sakes, Mario.

Take your bicarbonate. Honestly!

They'll build their own exhibits.

You got a thousand angles going.

Here you are, sir.

Look at all that cabbage.

There must be 5,000 bucks apiece here.

- What's the next race there, kid?

- Look at this dog. Lucky Ally.

I got a kid named Ally. I got a little boy.

- No kidding?

- What a hunch bet this is! Lucky Ally.

I tell you, when I get hot, I really get hot.

I'm red hot. Everything's coming my way.

- What do you say, kid? Let it ride?

- Sure, let it ride.

OK, take the bundle and let it ride

on number five. Lucky Ally, right?

The whole bundle, here you are.

Wait a minute. Tony, is that OK with you?

- OK, sure.

- Are you sure you can afford it?

- You kidding? It's only money.

- That's what I like to hear.

- Sweetie, we have to leave after this race.

- Is that all you can say, "We gotta leave"?

Can we go someplace

to discuss this proposition?

Yeah, sure. Let's go in the bar,

over a couple of drinks...

Spend a little time with your other guests.

You're supposed to arrange

with Mr Courtney about Acapulco.

Just give me a minute. I'll be right back.

Mr Courtney,

sorry I haven't had a chance...

Here you are, sir.

Let me have one more

and I'll never ask for anything again.

Here comes Speedy.

Come on, Ally. Stay up there, boy.

Don't quit now. Stay up there.

Don't run out of gas. Go for it.

We need you. Stay up there, boy.

Keep going, boy. Come on, Ally.

Stay up there.

Don't quit. Keep going, boy.

Come on, Ally, stay up there.

Don't quit. Don't quit...

It's only money, huh, meatball?

All right, honey, all right. Folks,

I gotta run, never have a minute to myself.

Lou, if you get to London, give me a call.

I'll leave it up to you, right?

Tony, it's been swell.

Wonderful to see you.

I'll be back this time next year.

We'll spend an evening together.

- Sweetie, come on.

- Wait a minute.

Listen, give Mendy my best, will you?

Here is the result of this race...

- What about the deal?

- What deal?

The Disneyland.

Oh, I wish you luck on that.

That's a real interesting idea.

- Wait a minute.

- Easy, boy.

- What, were you kidding me?

- The car is waiting.

- What's your problem?

- We were gonna go in this together.

First of all,

take your sweaty hands off my sleeve.

Thank you. Now, what were

we talking about? Disneyland?

Oh, yeah, that's a great idea. For Disney.

Wait a minute. What was all that baloney

about getting Disney on the telephone?

- Sweetie, are you coming or not?

- Just a minute.

Listen, kiddie, never try to promote a

promoter. You haven't got the knack for it.

But what am I gonna do? Throw you out?

You're my buddy. I like you.

I want you to level with me. You need

some dough? Go buy yourself a cigar.

Easy, easy. That's my buddy there.

See you around, buddy.

Get ready, everybody. He's coming.

That's enough, Mario.

You know how sick you get.

We gotta to celebrate. The champ!

He doesn't need his brother any more.

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

Which nobody can deny

Which nobody can deny

Which nobody can deny

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