A Hole in the Head Page #10

their children. They worked.

- Sally, give me ten bucks.

- Five.

- Ten.

- But I ain't been paid in five weeks.

- Life is just a bowl of cherries.

- Well, why do we always get the pits?

Chief, I had 60 bucks stashed away

and Sally put five up,

and she kicked in ten before she checked

out - you know, for the laundry.

What are you doing,

taking up a collection for me now?

She? What she?

Miss Shirl. She left a couple of hours ago.

Shirley checked...?

What did she say?

Did she leave a message?

(Fred) Chief! Chief!

What do you want from me, my blood?

Do you want me to crawl

on my hands and knees?

I ask you to lend me a couple of bucks.

You expect me to become

a five-and-dime character like you?

You expect me to change my way of life?

Be you instead of me?

Not a chance.

Take your big-brother sanctimonious act

back to New York and turn blue.

Everybody dressed, Pop?

Be with you in a minute.

- Ally, I want to talk to you.

- Chief! Chief!

I can't go through with it, Ally.

I mean, you think I'm a champ?

Think a champ

would marry Mrs Rogers

to get a few lousy bucks

from your Uncle Mario?

You mean

you're not going to get married?

I like her very much. I'm sure

she'd make a good mother for you.

But I couldn't do that to this nice woman.

You'd hate me for it.

Ally, pack your things.

Tomorrow, you're coming with us.

- Pop?

- He's not going nowhere.

Don't try to stop me.

I'll go to court if I have to.

You have no money, no home. That's

the end of it. Ally's going to live with us.

Excuse me, chief.

Jerry Marks's secretary called.

Jer... What'd he say?

He's having a party at the Fontainebleau

and wants you to come over now.

You see that?

Did you hear what he said?

Jerry Marks phoned me and wants me to

go to his party at the Fontainebleau Hotel.

You wouldn't understand. My kind of

people. You'll never even understand me.

You know why?

Because I go on hunches. That's why.

I guarantee I'm gonna have all the money

I need by morning, and without your help.

Wait till he gets a load of my plan here,

with the Disney thing.

You know something else? You know

that Easy Street that nobody lives on?

I'm gonna wind up

owning it, brother Mario.

And you, don't look so unhappy.

Nobody's gonna take you away from me.

Ally...

I know you love your daddy,

and that's good.

- Listen. You should love him.

- (car drives away)

But you've got to understand

what's best for you.

Aunt Sophie, I like you an awful lot,

but, please, I don't want to leave him.

If I had to leave him, I don't know.

I think I'd jump in the ocean, Aunt Sophie.

Good luck, champ!

Oh, Mario, maybe we shouldn't.

He loves him so much.

What do I care, love? Tomorrow

he's out on the street, that's what he is.

What's love, anyway? Is it gonna put

a roof over his head? Fill up his belly?

- Suppose Tony gets the money tonight?

- Suppose! Suppose it snows in this lobby.

He's a bum. In his life,

he never raised a dime except from me.

All right. Don't have a heart attack.

He'll come to me running

on his hands and knees. Turn blue?

Hey, Fred. Geronimo!

Geronimo!

(Ally) Geronimo!

Geronimo!

(Fred) Geronimo!

I made it.

Cheer up, toots.

(Mrs Wexler) Geronimo!

Garden of Eden!

Toots.

(compere) They come from everywhere

for a Jerry Marks party.

The moniker Mr Fabulous really fits him.

Now, who's that distinguished couple?

It's our mayor and his lovely wife.

Let's give them a big hello.

Howdy, Mayor. And let's see, who's

that gentleman following the mayor?

Sorry, I don't recognise him.

(whistles)

- Everybody happy?

- Yes!

- Aw, you ain't seen nothing yet.

- (starting pistol)

And now, if you have weak hearts,

don't look.

The most beautiful, the most gorgeous,

ravishing woman in the whole world.

And here she is, Miss Body Beautiful.

(fanfare)

- (laughter and cheering)

- Oh, no.

(pistol)

- Hey, that's Jerry. How about that?

- That's our boss.

- How'd you get in here?

- What do you mean?

I came to see Jerry.

Hey, Jerry, it's Tony. Geronimo!

- Geronimo. Hey, it's Geron...

- It's Tony.

Tony. My pal. Hey, let him in,

that's my boy. Come on, let him in.

- Jerry.

- You bubblehead. How are you?

- You're still skinny as a rail, huh?

- I should be fat, like a fat pig like you.

- You musta made that first million.

- No, but it's near.

- Sweetie, you better get dressed.

- Take care of this.

- Mr Marks...

- This is number-five secretary.

Honey, I don't want any calls.

I haven't seen this guy in 100 years.

Hey, you caught me just in time. I gotta go

out to the dog track, pictures, publicity.

- What are you doing, vacationing here?

- Jerry!

- Hey, Charlie, how are you?

- All right. Wonderful.

He's a creep.

I can always tell. Sweaty hands.

- What are you doing here?

- I've been living here 11-12 years now.

- What's your racket? Bootlegging?

- Hotel business.

- I just bought a couple of joints myself.

- I read about it. Ten million dollars worth.

I need 'em like I need another foot.

I was broke, so I had to buy something.

- What about Mendy?

- Mendy? He's here, pushing a hack.

You're kidding. Still here?

Well, it's what he always loved.

Hey, you know what we gotta do?

Get together, the three of us.

- I got a picture of the three of us, doing...

- Doing the bit? I gotta have one.

- Sweetie, it's getting late.

- Honey, meet my oldest friend.

We used to sell newspapers together.

Tony, Doreen.

Charmed. We're very late.

You told me to remind you.

- You didn't want to be late and we're late.

- Number one, Hollywood, huh?

- Mr Kelly's still waiting out there.

- I never get five minutes!

Will you do me a favour? Here.

Give him 50 bucks, tell him to buy a cigar.

Happens all the time. I can't turn around,

somebody won't knock me up for $50.

Can't keep it from 'em. It's only

money. I bet you get the same thing.

- Oh, yeah, sure.

- It's been wonderful. Give me a call...

Jerry, I came over to see you about

an idea I got. I think you'll be interested.

Come on, fine.

Tell me about it while I change clothes.

Come on, boys, let's get going here.

Remember all the property

south of the beach here?

For years, they did all the business there.

Now all the action's up here.

So here's what I figure.

We buy that property for a song.

- You don't have this trouble, do you?

- No, I don't have that kind of trouble.

I got the figures here.

We could buy for it for a song.

You know what we do after we buy it?

We knock down all the buildings.

We build a Disneyland.

Is that a beautiful idea?

Disney...

- You don't like it?

- Yeah, yeah, I like it. Come on.

We build a Disneyland. Now,

I can't handle it by myself, it's a big tab.

But you, me and a couple of guys put

a syndicate together and it's a boat race.

- What do you think?

- What do I think?

Alice, get Walt Disney on the phone

for me right away.

- You know Walt...?

- Sweetie, you promised all those people...

You know what happens when we get

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