A Modern Twain Story: The Prince and the Pauper Page #4

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Well, I ain't hanging out with those losers.

- They seemed pretty cool to me.

- Well, it isn't. It's stupid.

And who cares about Shakespeare, anyway?

The guy's been dead for, like, 2,000 years.

Come on, don't be intimidated.

You can always learn.

- That's what school's for, right?

- Look, lay off, man.

I mean, why do you even care what I do,

anyway?

I've known you since you were a little kid,

Tom. You're my buddy.

I'm going and don't follow me, okay?

Okay, you can stop following me now.

Tom is in the trailer waiting for me

to come back and switch places.

Then I'll be a movie star again,

and he can go back to planting trees.

Watch. You'll see.

Hey, I'm Eddie Tudor.

I need to get to my trailer.

- You again? Beat it, kid.

- Excuse me?

I said get out of here

and stop playing around.

I don't know if you know who I am,

but I need to show up on set

or you'll lose your job. How about that?

Well, if you were Eddie Tudor,

you'd be on a plane to Miami.

How about that?

They're not in there, Tom.

- I'm not talking to you.

- He's right.

Tom, look.

- All the trailers are gone.

- They must have moved to a different lot.

No. They're gone, Tom.

Yeah, I can see that.

I wanna know where they went.

- They went to Miami.

- Miami?

Yeah, they changed locations

to save money.

You'll read all about it

in the paper tomorrow.

It's okay.

There'll be another production in here soon.

Another production?

What were they thinking?

How could they leave without me?

They wouldn't go anywhere without you.

Now, come on. Snap out of it, will you?

You're right. They wouldn't.

Because they still think I'm there.

Because that little punk is pretending

to be me!

- Tom.

- Stop calling me Tom, you crazy psycho!

- Now, which way is Miami?

- Don't be ridiculous.

Tom!

Hello? Yeah. Yeah.

What is... What is this about?

I sent you an invoice.

What am I gonna do?

My boat. My boat!

What? Are you on speakerphone?

You have an echo. I hope... Yeah.

I can't talk to you!

Look, I just dropped Epsom salts

all over the bathroom floor.

- Wait. Where are we?

- The airport.

- Wait. Why?

- Your mom's waiting on the jet. Come on.

No, wait a second. Where are we going?

- Not far. Come on.

- I'm not getting on that jet.

Oh, you're getting on that jet

if I have to drag you on myself.

All right. Here we are.

Just sit right down here. Good boy.

Eddie, take your sunglasses off inside.

It's too obnoxious, even for you.

Take them off.

I'd like to keep them on.

- By the way, where are we going?

- We're going to Miami.

Wait. I thought I had an appearance

for Spy Teen III.

- Oh, you do. In Miami.

- Well, why didn't you tell me this?

Because we all know

how dramatic you are, Eddie.

- Excuse me!

- Okay.

- Can somebody open those doors?

- Okay, okay.

Eddie, Eddie. Eddie! Sit down. Listen.

We have to go to Miami, okay?

Now, why don't you just calm down

and we'll talk about it?

Look, I'm not Eddie. Do you hear me?

I'm not Eddie Tudor.

My name is Tom Canty!

We switched places this afternoon!

Okay. You know something?

This is ridiculous.

I'm not going to stand for this behavior.

I am sorry we have to relocate, okay?

It's just as simple as that.

Relocate?

Listen to me.

We ran into

a bit of a tax issue in Palm Beach.

So to save some money,

we have to move to Miami.

Listen, there's nothing I could do about it.

I know you love your boat.

- We'll get you another...

- My boat? Let me off of this jet!

Okay. I don't want you to overreact.

So let's just take a big breath

and calm ourselves down.

- Listen to me. Big breath in. Big breath out.

- I want to go home!

Oh, my gosh.

Listen, I've just about had it with you,

Eddie. All right?

You are going to Miami

if I have to fly this plane myself.

Tom!

- You cannot steal this boat.

- It's my boat.

Your Pop is gonna kill you

if you get arrested.

He's just starting to come around

about the acting lessons.

Who wants acting lessons?

What are you doing? Give me that key!

- Give me the key! Give me the key!

- You want this key?

Yeah.

- There.

- What did you do that for?

Because if you steal that boat,

you're gonna get arrested.

The whole movie is gone. It's gone, Tom.

If you were really a part of it,

you'd be with them.

They left me. Mom left me.

Come on. Let's go home.

Yay!

Come on, clap.

Come on, Pop. Clap for Tom.

Come on, clap.

It's showtime, kid!

It's showtime, cutie pie. Wake up. Wake up.

You must have been tired.

You've been sleeping for eight hours.

- Where are we?

- Sunny Miami. You're gonna love it.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

I need to get back to Palm Beach.

Well, there's nothing in Palm Beach.

We took it all with us.

- Pop, Miles...

- You have a bad dream?

- You just breathe and relax. Let it go.

- No. No, you really don't get it.

- I have to get back to Palm Beach.

- But what is the attachment to Palm Beach?

Okay, look.

If you relax, Palm Beach is an hour away.

Do your work,

we'll go visit anytime you want.

Tonight?

Tonight. Fine.

You do a good day's work,

we'll go to Palm Beach.

Hey, is that mean lady gonna yell

at me again?

- You mean your mother?

- That's his mother?

It's just a situation

that got completely out of control.

It wasn't being handled properly.

We never should have had

to leave Palm Beach.

- They practically threw us out.

- Bunch of hicks.

- Why'd they kick you out?

- What?

- I said why'd they kick you out?

- Why don't you go back

to learning your lines

and getting water dumped on your head?

Don't worry about what the big producers

are doing, okay?

Don't talk to him like that.

Eddie, it's just a little too complicated

for you to understand, that's all.

Oh, really? Yeah, well, what I heard is that

you guys are a bunch of stuck-up pig heads

with no respect for the working man.

You guys were gonna get kicked out

sooner than later.

Well, that's just what I heard.

- Really?

- Yeah.

What was that?

- I was telling the truth.

- Well, don't do that.

First team. First team. I need Eddie.

All right, get going.

And no fainting!

Eddie, come on.

All you have to do is stand on your spot

and say your lines to Elizabeth.

- Think you can handle it?

- Yeah.

Okay, great. Roll sound!

You want to shoot the rehearsal,

just in case?

Yeah, we better shoot everything

with this kid.

All right, Eddie. This is very important.

This is the biggest moment of the movie,

all right?

- Okay.

- Do your best here, buddy.

And action!

I just want to tell you

that in times of danger,

when the universe is in our hands

and the madness of everyone around us

makes no sense,

I'm really glad to have you as a friend

and as a fellow protector of goodness.

We will beat Evil Darkness

and Doctor Know-it-All

and their evil motives.

We will save our planet.

Innocence and goodness will prevail.

So once and for all, are you with me?

You know it.

And cut!

- Excellent!

- Eddie, that was so good.

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