A New Kind of Love Page #10

---

me believe it. Why not tell the truth?

- What would you have done?

- l'd have strangled her.

- See, l told you.

- Are you in love with her?

She's taken a perfectly

normal human being...

A bachelor, a happy man

in the prime of life,

all womanhood spread out

in front of him like a buffet lunch.

Cut him down to nothing.

What a masquerade that

shouldn't have fooled a

nearsighted baboon at mating time.

Answer the question.

- You wanna hear it?

- Yes.

All right, yes.

Yes.

lt must be a new kind of love. Ought to

bottle it and sell it for lnstant Stupid.

l couldn't even

see through her mascara.

What am l gonna write home, huh?

''l want a girl, just like the girl

that Daddy met in the men's room.''

This whole crazy sex business was

designed to make men idiots.

- And women mothers.

- Don't knock it.

Unless you've got

something better.

Yeah, well, l guess you get right

down to it, there isn't anything better.

But before l admit it to her,

l'll pull her through the ringer.

Crawling to me with her tail between

her legs, whining for forgiveness.

And if she doesn't,

what are you gonna do to her?

l'm gonna give--

l'll--

Yeah? What?

l'll come up with something.

Well, hello, Mimi, baby.

l didn't know whether you'd be here

at the old roost tonight or not.

Why, every night l'm at this cafe

waiting for whatever life has in store.

And you have

the busiest store in town.

- Mais naturellement.

- Excuse me.

You know, l'm really sorry.

l came to apologize.

l should have realized that there

isn't anything you wanna confess.

- ls there?

- Nothing.

l mean, you like your work.

You enjoy what you do.

Right?

There is always great satisfaction

in anything that is done well.

What a crashing bore

that must have been for you,

all those wasted hours of conversation.

Yes.

When we could have been so gay.

Well, l'm leaving tomorrow.

l have taken the position over the

years never to pay for anything

that eventually might be given away

free, gratis, for nothing.

So l hope you take this

as a very high compliment.

l would like to say goodbye to you,

tonight, properly, in my apartment.

- So naturally--

- Oh, no. No, no, no.

Why not?

Afterwards, darling.

lt is so much more chic.

- Shall we go?

- What? Where?

To your apartment, of course.

Where else?

- What do you mean, my apartment?

- Come, come, come, come.

Let us run like little rabbits.

Say when.

When.

Bon voyage.

Wouldn't you like to slip into

something a little more comfy?

Mais naturellement.

The bathroom's up there.

Merci.

Any problems?

No.

Joe Bergner, please.

Hello, Joe?

She is just on the verge

of crawling to me.

Yeah. She locked herself

in the bathroom.

She's locked herself

in the bathroom.

She's gotta come out sometime.

The plane leaves in 1 4 hours.

The game's over. There's nothing she

can do now except come out of there,

whimpering like a wounded chicken

and confess the whole crazy thing.

Then l'll tell her

l knew it all along and--

Steve, darling.

There will be no further bulletins.

Hello, cheri.

Hello, Sam.

You think you fooled me for a minute?

That's a laugh. l knew all the time.

l just wanted to find out how far

you'd go. Now l found out. Touchdown.

What are you doing up here in a man's

room in the middle of the night,

taking money for a thing like this?

What kind of a girl are you?

You don't understand.

You don't understand at all.

- l wasn't really gonna do it.

- What weren't you really gonna do?

l wasn't gonna take any money.

That's even worse.

Maybe you really are Mimi.

l wasn't gonna do anything at all.

Oh, l hate women who cry.

Silly little female women who have

headaches and everything.

l wanted to be

so sophisticated about this.

l don't wanna spend the

rest of my life being a semi-maiden.

Now, what the hell is that?

lt's worse than nothing at all.

lt's like eating one peanut.

l'm sorry for fooling you.

l'm sorry for the whole thing.

But l'm sorriest for the fact that

l don't have anything to be sorry for.

l'm a grown woman,

and it's my last night in Paris,

and damn it, damn it,

l'm in love with you.

Oh, please don't cry, Sam.

Don't call me Sam!

Oh, boy.

l'll never call you Sam again.

Did l ever tell you

that l'm, damn it, in love too?

- No.

- Well, l'm telling you.

l'm a lot newer at it than you are. l've

never even been semi in love before.

You're the first girl that l ever asked

to be the mother of my children.

Oh, thank you. l'll try my best.

So will l.

But before we do...

What's that for?

The license. From now on,

l'm your sales manager.

No. No, it's not gonna work.

lt's not gonna work because

it's always gonna be a joke to you.

lt's gonna be a soccer match

or a football game.

You'll probably even write

a column about our wedding night.

Samantha.

Charge!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes