A New Kind of Love Page #9

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And l was going to

apologize for getting mad

and tell him the whole truth

tonight, no matter what.

He's actually

introducing me to a friend,

passing me around

like l was a box of 1 5-cent cigars.

Sam, Sam. What's going on?

What's been going on every night?

A nice New York girl like you

entertaining out-of-town buyers,

in somebody else's hair.

Bergner, keep your big mouth shut

till you find out what's what.

Why should l feel so upset? She must

have done this a dozen times before.

Dozen? A hundred, 500.

She probably has one of those

counting machines you hold

like an usher counting the audience.

Click-click, click-click, click-click.

Just so she can

keep her books straight.

And now they're going to his hotel.

All right, Joe Bergner. Maybe

you'll get along fine, even at your age.

Well, why not? You're rich

enough to be absolutely lovable.

Oh, why did l ever

do a crazy thing like this?

They like each other.

Click-click, click-click,

click-click, click-click.

Well, anyway,

that's the last l'll see of her.

Phony accent, phony hair,

phony name.

Going to a hotel with a guy she's fallen

in love with in a minute and a half.

Well, so let her.

Why should that bother me at all?

l don't know.

lt doesn't bother me.

See, the big problem is,

in spite of everything, l'm--

ln spite of everything,

l'm just a country boy.

You know what l did last Sunday?

l went to church.

lt wasn't bad at all, Harry.

lt might just catch on.

Could become a habit.

You think a girl like that ever's

been inside a church?

You think she's got a family?

Think she knows the meaning

of the word ''shame''?

l hope not.

Oh, you mean your girl.

Not my girl.

Apparently, she's everybody's girl.

Ought to be just my type,

l suppose, but...

...something about her bugs me.

l keep worrying about her.

l keep wondering

what she's doing.

Like l keep wondering

what she's doing right now.

l loathe him.

l despise him. l hate him.

But l want him.

What do you think would happen

if l went to him right now

and l told him the truth,

the whole truth?

- He's a man. He'll understand.

- Then he'd strangle you.

No, baby, one thing a fella

doesn't want from a girl is surprises.

Forty percent of all divorces start on

the honeymoon night. Get out of there.

What am l gonna do?

l can't go on like this,

with him going around drumming up

trade for me like l was a...

...nationally advertised product.

Oh, Lina, l love him,

the dirty louse.

Suppose you went to him for help.

What do you mean, for help?

Meeting a fine man like him, so fine,

so honest, so understanding.

You're a little bit ashamed.

Oh, and l'm gonna change

my whole way of life for him.

lf he'd only help you

to reform a little.

l'd give it all up.

- And l'd go to church.

- Yeah.

- l'd go to the PTA meeting.

- Yeah.

- l'd knit.

- Knitting, nobody believes anymore.

Who asked you, Beatrice Fairfax?

Come on, fix your face

- and go look for him. Worth a try.

- Wait a minute. Forgot your hair.

- Don't throw it--

- Strike one.

Come on.

Look pretty and think positive.

l'm trying.

- Come on.

- Poor kid.

lt's like after all these years

finding out you got a daughter.

Mr. Bergner, you have

just received my resignation.

Resig--?

Why, what did l do?

For 1 5 years, nothing.

- And now all of a sudden, Romeo.

- Romeo?

From Union Square.

First it's that Hungarian French poodle.

- That's over with long ago.

- Sure.

- lf l could only get back the ring.

- And now look what happened.

You ask a friend

to introduce you to some girl.

- He asked me just to cheer me up.

- Yes.

Anyway, it turned out to be Sam.

And suppose he'd introduced

you to some real tramp?

To her you wouldn't have

been a father.

So, what am l supposed to do,

lay down and die of shame? Shoot me.

l'm not so old that a pretty face

don't make me feel good.

- A pretty face.

- lt's a terrible thing to be lonely.

To be alone.

ln New York it was bad enough.

But in Paris...

You wouldn't understand.

- l wouldn't, huh?

- No, you wouldn't.

Last week l went

for a carriage ride in the park.

Just me and an old horse driver.

l didn't even know

what he was saying.

He spoke only French.

But in that half-hour...

...he looked at me more than you have

in the 1 5 years

l've been working for you.

Even his horse looked at me more.

So don't give me lonely.

So now you've quit your job.

How are you

planning to make a living?

Maybe l'll borrow Sam's wig

and go into business for myself.

Some old schlemiel like you might

come along who's forgot his glasses.

You wouldn't maybe be interested

in some onion soup?

Well, Mr. Bergner...

Get yourself dolled up.

We'll go to that place where the

frankfurters hang from the ceiling.

Voil, madame.

ls Mr. Joe Bergner in?

l believe so, monsieur.

Did that old goat just go upstairs

with a young lady?

A young, beautiful lady?

A young lady

young enough to be his own child?

l can only say, monsieur,

l am looking forward to my own future

with renewed confidence.

Monsieur.

- Where is she?

- Who?

- Lolita.

- Oh, she's in the bedroom, but--

You ought to be

ashamed of yourself.

- Why don't you get yourself a hobby.

- l play golf.

Steve?

Now, Steve...

Out.

But you don't understand. l'm gonna

change my whole way of life.

There's one hope for you.

You're coming with me.

- What for?

- Since when has that mattered to you?

Now, wait a minute.

- lf you'd just listen.

- l have listened enough.

Did you have an enjoyable evening?

Shut up.

Goodbye, Lina.

- What's going on?

- Nothing.

He's just taking her out

someplace to strangle her.

Come on, let's hurry up.

The Cathedral of the Sacr Coeur

has received many sinners

over the centuries.

But none quite like the scarlet lady

in the red convertible.

Somebody's gotta help her, Father,

and l know l'm not qualified.

l just have the feeling that

in spite of the life she leads

that somehow, somewhere,

there's a spark of decency left in her.

They told me you've talked

to dozens of girls

here in Montmartre

and you've never failed yet.

My child, why don't you--

Mon dieu.

l don't think

she wants to be saved.

No, she likes it.

The next time you're in New York,

call El Dorado 5-3598.

That's Alcoholics Anonymous.

You need help.

Yes, sir.

We met her on our way home

from onion soup.

She was crying her eyes out.

Her whole life is ruined.

l gave her the same advice

her mother would have given her.

- Like what?

- l told her to go out and get drunk.

- Why not?

- Are you in love with her?

What are you talking about?

l'm talking about

l don't want her hanging around

1 5 years waiting for you

to get to be an old schlemiel.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Tomorrow she's leaving

the country.

lf you're not in love with her,

you must be an awful stupid jerk,

falling for those cock-and-bull

stories she's been feeding you.

- You can say that again.

- Camille, yet.

She must be a stupid girl for letting

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