A Night at the Roxbury Page #10

DOUG:

You're always thinking of me.

SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR

The card's good. 'Bye, Doug.

She hangs up. Doug hands the phone back.

DOUG:

She approved.

CUT TO:

EXT. MANSION - LATER

Modern style house. Lights dot a gravel driveway that

leads to the entrance. The limo drives up.

STEVE (V.O.)

Sweet ass cottage, Mr. Zadir.

EXT. BACK YARD OF MANSION

THERE'S A PARTY IN FULL SWING. Spice Girls are performing. A pool with a waterfall is the center of the party. People are dancing, drinking, swimming, etc.

PATIO DOOR:

opens. Doug, Steve, Mr. Zadir and the girls enter.

DOUG:

Mr. Zadir, I am very impressed.

For a guy who owns sleazy night

clubs, the decor in your house is quite

tasteful.

STEVE:

Good one.

The guys nod to each other, proud of their compliment.

CAMBI:

Excuse us, we're going to the

ladies' room.

The girls walk off. Mr. Zadir notices something.

MR. ZADIR

Anna Nicole! Put something on!

You are making us sick!

Mr. Zadir walks away.

DOUG:

Do you feel it, Steve? We are

finally experiencing the party

lifestyle to the fullest degree.

Let's mingle.

They walk over to a Fabio type MODEL GUY.

DOUG:

How's it hanging? You want to

mingle?

STEVE:

Cool party, huh?

MODEL GUY:

(who the hell are

these guys)

... I guess.

DOUG:

Yeah, I'd say it's kicking into

gear right about...

Steve and Doug pause a moment. Model Guy looks at each

of them.

STEVE:

... now.

DOUG:

So, what do you do?

MODEL GUY:

I'm a model.

DOUG:

Oh, right. So are we.

STEVE:

It's a hard job.

DOUG:

Yeah, you know, like you got to

stand still all the time and uh...

STEVE:

(racking his brain)

... Standing still. Standing

still is really hard. My foot

cramps sometimes.

MODEL GUY:

I know what you mean. What agency

you with? Elite, Ford?

STEVE:

Uh huh.

DOUG:

(to Model)

So, do you like mingling?

MODEL GUY:

Excuse me.

The Model Guy walks away.

STEVE:

Nice guy.

DOUG:

(off at Model Guy)

See you on the shoot!

As they start eating their pasta primavera again, a NAKED

WOMAN emerges from the pool and walks directly towards

them. Steve and Doug forget how to chew and stand,

stunned.

NAKED WOMAN:

Can you pass me a towel, please?

They talk directly to her breasts, trying to be

nonchalant, but answering questions she hasn't asked.

STEVE:

Good. How are you?

DOUG:

... about eight o'clock, eight

fifteen.

NAKED WOMAN:

They're right behind you. Can you

just reach over?

STEVE:

Thanks. All the time.

DOUG:

Sagittarius.

STEVE:

BMW.

DOUG:

Right off Sunset.

STEVE:

Vanilla mostly.

She shoves by them and exits. Mr. Zadir comes over.

MR. ZADIR

Look at this, I have the Spice

Girls, yet nobody is dancing.

The guys snap out of it.

DOUG:

With all due party-throwing

respect, you know what the problem

is, Mr. Zadir? This pool is

taking up all the prime dancing

real estate.

STEVE:

Yeah, you know, if there were a big

piece of glass you could put over the

pool, you could use it as a dance

floor. And it would be really sweet

because people would feel like they

were dancing on water.

DOUG:

And you could put fish in the water

and it would be like the ocean.

STEVE:

Or, Doug, you know what would be

another amazing idea? You could have

a special room for people who want to

dance naked.

DOUG:

Plus, then you could have a room next

to that room with a one-way mirror so

other people could watch them.

MR. ZADIR

(calming them down)

Boys, boys, please let's not talk

business. We'll schedule a meeting

for this.

Guys silently/joyously high five their meeting. Cambi,

Vivica enter.

CAMBI:

There you are.

VIVICA:

We got scared.

DOUG:

(protective)

Of who? We'll kick his ass.

CAMBI:

No, we got scared someone stole

you away from us.

Doug and Steve ponder the meaning of this statement for a

beat, having rarely heard a compliment.

DOUG:

(realizes it's a

compliment)

Oh...

(to Steve)

Like some other girls would steal

us away.

STEVE:

Oh, right... Oh!

CAMBI:

Mr. Zadir, would you mind if we

borrowed them for a while?

MR. ZADIR

Yes...

They all look at him.

MR. ZADIR

... No!

(laughs)

Got you!

DOUG:

Good one, Mr. Zadir.

STEVE:

He totally got me.

DOUG:

Mr. Zadir, let me just say that

you, sir, are a load and a half.

MR. ZADIR

(laughing)

Thank you, Doug!

The guys and girls exit.

CUT TO:

INT. MASTER BEDROOM - LATER

The guys are entertaining the girls with their killer

impression of Hall & Oates.

DOUG/STEVE

(singing)

... Oh, oh, here she comes...

The guys do a "here she comes" step.

STEVE:

Watch out, boy, she'll chew you

up.

Doug chews.

STEVE:

Whoa, here she comes...

DOUG/STEVE

She's a maneater!

The girls look blankly at them. The guys stop.

DOUG:

Guess who that was?

VIVICA:

I have no idea.

DOUG:

Well, I was supposed to have a

moustache.

VIVICA:

Sonny and Cher?

STEVE:

Okay, we'll give you another hint.

The guys get into their Hall and Oates positions.

STEVE:

(singing)

She's a rich girl.

DOUG:

(singing)

And she's going to go far 'cause

she knows it doesn't matter

anyway.

Cambi stands.

CAMBI:

(shutting them up)

Guys, guys! I have an idea. You

want to have some fun?

DOUG:

Sure, fun is our last name.

STEVE:

Plus, fun spelled backwards is

'nuf.' And you can never have

'nuf' fun.

VIVICA:

(takes Steve by the hand)

Great. Let's go.

STEVE:

Where we going?

VIVICA:

They're staying in here. And

we're going in there.

Vivica pulls Steve into an adjoining guest bedroom.

DOUG:

(as the door shuts)

Steve!

STEVE:

Doug!

INT. GUEST BEDROOM - CONTINOUS ACTION

Vivica sits on the bed. Steve awkwardly stands by the

door.

VIVICA:

Nice room.

STEVE:

Yeah, it's great.

(yelling at door)

Doug, you should check out this

room!

VIVICA:

I think he's busy.

STEVE:

I'm just a big believer in

sharing.

Vivica sensually lies back on the bed, staring at Steve.

Steve is uncomfortable, starts walking around.

VIVICA:

Steve, why don't you come over

here?

Vivica pats the bed a few times, inviting him over.

Steve watches. Thinks. Then goes over to the bed and

also pats it a few times, turning it into a drum solo.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes