A Night at the Roxbury Page #9

STEVE AND DOUG AND MR. ZADIR

laughing and drinking champagne.

CAMBI and VIVICA

CAMBI:

Too bad he's married. He owns all

the clubs in town. Plus, dry

cleaners, that beeper service, and

Mailboxes, Etc...

VIVICA:

Who are those guys with him?

Cambi reaches into her purse and pulls out Money

magazine's richest people issue.

CAMBI:

I can't find them, but if they're

with Zadir, they've got to be

worth something.

VIVICA:

Great. Let's work.

TABLE:

The guys are pitching Zadir another idea, GILBERT

GOTTFRIED comes over.

GILBERT GOTTFRIED

Oh my God! Benny! Benny! Benny!

Benny!

MR. ZADIR

Gilbert Gottfried, who let you in?

GILBERT GOTTFRIED

You have to say hello to my friend

at the other table. Not this

table. No. No. The other one.

Looks like this table -- other

people around it. I have a friends

and he needs you to say hello to

him at the other table.

MR. ZADIR

You have a friend?

GILBERT GOTTFRIED

Oh my God! You got me! I didn't

see it coming. No. It was coming

but I was not able to see it.

MR. ZADIR

I better go before he explodes.

Gilbert and Zadir walk away.

DOUG:

(nervous)

Was I too pushy? I was too pushy.

Did I speak well?

STEVE:

You were totally articulate.

DOUG:

Maybe he didn't like our ideas.

It's hard to pitch in a night

club. You ever notice, the music

is blasting in here. We should

try to get a meeting.

Steve starts looking off at something, mesmerized.

DOUG:

So, Steve, what if we...

Doug sees what Steve is watching. He also becomes

mesmerized.

CAMBI AND VIVICA

In SLOW MOTION, like two cars, the girls saunter across

the dance floor, toward Steve and Doug.

STEVE and DOUG

even more mesmerized.

CAMBI AND VIVICA

even closer.

STEVE AND DOUG:

still staring at the girls. The girls walk up to them.

STEVE:

(on automatic)

Up what's? You want to dance?

VIVICA:

Yes.

DOUG:

Steve, she said 'Yes.'

STEVE:

What?

DOUG:

(amazed)

Hotties want to shake it, come on.

DANCE FLOOR:

Steve and Doug surround the girls and frenetically

gyrate, pushing into them. The girls escape and Steve

and Doug end up slam dancing against each other.

CAMBI:

Hey, guys! Over here.

Cambi takes Doug's hand. Vivica grabs Steve's hand.

"This is Your Night" by AMBER starts. The following is a

perfectly choreographed dance to the music.

The girls dance seductively, dancing toward the boys.

Doug and Steve, unsure what's going on, look at each

other.

Simultaneously, the girls start to mimic the girls'

moves.

The boys do some hand jive, the girls match them perfectly.

They begin a variety of dips, swings and techno style

dances.

They're incredible. The crowd watches them...

Doug and Steve start doing some moves together.

An impressed JOHN TRAVOLTA comes over to them.

John adds his own movements and the guys follow suit.

John, Steve, Doug, and the girls do a synchronized

dance.

THE MUSIC STOPS. Crowd cheers.

STEVE:

(to Travolta)

Bro, you are incredible!

DOUG:

Seriously, unbelievable stuff out

there. So, you want to hang out?

JOHN TRAVOLTA:

No.

Travolta starts to exit.

STEVE:

Alright, catch you later then.

JOHN TRAVOLTA:

I don't think so.

CUT TO:

EXT. LAUREL CANYON -- LATER

Mr. Zadir's black limo is driving.

INT. LIMO - CONTINUOUS ACTION

Doug, Steve, Mr. Zadir, Vivica and Cambi are inside.

Zadir pops open a bottle of Dom Perignon and starts

pouring.

VIVICA:

Wow, 1980, good year!

DOUG:

Oh, '80 was an excellent year.

Devo had a big hit that year.

STEVE:

Yeah, and 'Joanie loves Chachie'

started that year.

DOUG:

That was just a cheap spinoff.

STEVE:

That was a spinoff?

DOUG:

Of course, those characters

originated on 'Happy Days.'

STEVE:

I did not know that.

CAMBI:

Sure, 'Joanie Loves Chachi.' But,

does Chachi give a F*** about Joanie?

MR. ZADIR

Cambi makes a good point. But

tonight we should have fun, not dwell

on Scott Baio.

STEVE:

(drinking)

Sweet suds, Mr. Zadir.

DOUG:

Dom Perignon's good but you know what

really makes a party -- Redi Whip.

STEVE:

But not like when you put it on

stuff. It's when you're half

pressing on that little white nozzle

and like before it comes out, you

suck on it, and it's really fun.

CAMBI:

You mean like nitrous oxide?

Whippets?

DOUG/STEVE

(taken aback)

... No!

DOUG:

(dumbfounded)

Tscha! What is that?

Mr. Zadir lowers the panel between the driver and the

rear.

MR. ZADIR

(to driver)

Dooey! We must stop and get Redi

Whip!

DOOEY, 35, black suit and tie, looks in a rearview mirror

.

DOOEY:

Yes, sir.

Zadir raises the panel.

STEVE:

(to Dooey)

But it has to be Redi Whip in a can!

MR. ZADIR

Wait, he can't hear you.

Zaidir lowers the panel, nods to Steve.

STEVE:

I was just saying it has to be

Redi Whip in a can.

DOOEY:

(annoyed)

Right.

Zadir raises the panel.

DOUG:

He really can't hear us?

MR. ZADIR

No.

DOUG:

Dooey, tell your mother I had a

really good time last night!

STEVE:

And your father!

DOUG:

What?

STEVE:

I mean your sister!

DOUG:

Good one.

The guys high five. Cambi and Vivica exchange looks of

disbelief. Dooey lowers the panel.

DOOEY:

Mr. Zadir, I'm pulling over here

to get whipped cream.

CUT TO:

EXT. 7-11- CONTINOUS ACTION

Dooey pulls over and gets out. Doug looks out the

window.

DOUG'S POV

He watches Dooey talking to the cash register person.

DOUG:

I'll be right back.

Doug gets out.

CUT TO:

INT. 7-11- CONTINOUS ACTION

Dooey hands the cash register person a credit card, who

swipes it. Doug rushes in.

DOUG:

I'll take care of it.

Doug grabs the phone.

DOUG:

Operator 238, please... What's up?

CUT TO:

INT. CREDIT CARD CENTER - CONTINOUS ACTION

It's the same Switchboard Operator he talked to at the

store. The following conversation is INTERCUT...

SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR

(resigned)

Hello, Doug.

DOUG:

Guess where we went tonight?

SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR

Let me see, the 7-11 on Ventura?

DOUG:

No, I mean, before this, you sly

little credit vixen.

SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR

Doug!

DOUG:

The Roxbury with Richard Grieco

and Bob Saget. You gotta come out

sometime.

SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR

I would. But then there'd be no

one to approve all the money you

spend.

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