A Night at the Roxbury Page #8

RICHARD GRIECO:

We got to make a stop at the Roxbury.

BLONDE MODEL:

What about the party?

RICHARD GRIECO:

I don't want a lawsuit, okay?

CUT TO:

EXT. ROXBURY - LATER

Richard Grieco walks with the Blonde Model, Steve and

Doug trailing behind, walking past a huge line of club

goers. Steve starts breathing heavy -- he's nervous.

DOUG:

Steve, keep it together. Think

F-R-A. Focus, rhythm, attitude.

STEVE:

Got it... Fra.

They all reach the entrance.

BOUNCER:

Mr. Grieco. Nice to see you.

RICHARD GRIECO:

I got two.

DOUG:

(to Bouncer)

That's right. We're with Richard

Grieco.

STEVE:

(to line of people)

That's right. Grieco!

CUT TO:

INT. ROXBURT - CONTINOUS ACTION

Red velvet curtains. Steve and Doug push through the

curtains and are stunned.

STEVE AND DOUG'S POV

Beautiful, sexy, expensively dressed people mill around.

BACK TO SCENE:

STEVE:

Oh my God, Doug, this is the most

amazing place I've ever been.

RICHARD GRIECO:

Hey guys! This is the coat room.

The club's in here.

The guys follow Grieco.

INT. DANCE CLUB - CONTINOUS ACTION

The guys enter with Grieco. MUSIC BLASTING. Long,

crowded bar, odd-shaped velvet couches, model types are

Velcroed to the walls, huge crowded dance floor. This is

it.

STEVE/DOUG

(stunned)

...Sweet.

The guys follow Grieco, greeting passing women.

DOUG:

Whats' up?

STEVE:

What's up?...

(faster)

What's up, what's up, whats' up,

what's up, what's up...

DOUG:

Steve! Get a hold of yourself.

STEVE:

Sorry, it's hottie overload in here.

DOUG:

Pace yourself.

STEVE:

(counting to himself)

... What's up?... two, three...

What's up?

MR. ZADIR, the club owner, 45, Armani suit, magnanimously

greets them, holding a drink -- he speaks with a foreign

accent.

MR. ZADIR

Richard, my man! Good to see you.

RICHARD GRIECO:

Benny. Place is kickin'.

MR. ZADIR

Actually, it's jumping. Like '21

Jump Street,' right? Ha!

(to Steve and Doug)

My children watch the reruns on

T.V. land.

(to Grieco)

Who are your friends?

RICHARD GRIECO:

Oh, guys, this is Mr. Zadir. He

owns this place. These are uh..

DOUG:

Doug Butabi.

STEVE:

Steve Butabi.

MR. ZADIR

Let me show you my V.I.P. table.

They follow Zadir through the crowd. As they walk...

DOUG:

(aside to Steve)

Oh my God! The owner.

STEVE:

I know!

DOUG:

He's the man who pulls the

strings. The Gepetto of party.

STEVE:

Plus, he's the owner.

DOUG:

Sh! Listen and learn, my friend.

They arrive at a table overlooking the dance floor.

MR. ZADIR

(waving to someone O.S.)

Yes! I see you! Excuse me, I

have to say hello to Bob Saget.

Mr. Zadir exits.

RICHARD GRIECO:

So, you guys come here a lot?

DOUG:

Yeah, all the time.

STEVE:

But, we're never been inside.

Grieco and his date look at each other.

DOUG:

(aside)

Steve, what are you saying, be

cool.

(to Grieco)

So, is Johnny Depp meeting you

here or what?

RICHARD GRIECO:

No. So you guys look like you

really know how to party.

DOUG:

Oh, yeah, we never stop.

STEVE:

We're pretty much out of control.

Mr. Zadir returns, shouting behind him.

MR. ZADIR

(to Bob O.S.)

I get it, Bob, the club is

crowded, so it's a 'Full House'

like your show.

(to Richard)

He's too much.

Grieco and his date start to get up.

RICHARD GRIECO:

Benny, we'll see you at the party.

I'll see you guys.

DOUG/STEVE

See ya. Richard Grieco!

RICHARD GRIECO:

(To Blonde)

Their necks looked alright, right?

Grieco and Blonde exit. A waiter puts a bottle of

champagne on the table and Zadir begins to pour glasses

-- he's obviously had a few.

DOUG:

Sir, I just want to say, and I mean

this with the utmost sincerity, it is

an honor to shoot the sh*t with the

owner of the club of all clubs.

STEVE:

Yeah, and we're proficient club

hoppers -- so we know what we're

talking about.

MR. ZADIR

Thank you.

DOUG:

I mean, we usually go this place

called 'The Palace' and that place is

rank. The music is ancient.

STEVE:

Yeah, no celeb citings and the women

are oinkers.

DOUG:

And they let any asswad in the

door. It's the worst.

MR. ZADIR

I own that place also.

DOUG:

Yeah, but it's a really good

location.

STEVE:

And the drinks are reasonably

priced.

MR. ZADIR

No, no. You are right. That's

what's wrong with this club

business. One day you are hot

next day you are not. People get

bored easily.

DOUG:

Well, you know I had this great

idea. You should make this place

like a tropical jungle.

STEVE:

Yeah, lots of silk plants and

vines.

DOUG:

Yeah, but they're not real vines.

They're bungee cords and people

could like swing from one end to

the other so if you left your

friends at the bar, you could get

back to them.

Mr. Zadir is half listening to them as he drinks.

STEVE:

Yeah, and the barmaids could wear

loincloths -- but tasteful. Like

the ones they wear in strip clubs.

MR. ZADIR

You could not insure bungee cords.

People jumping back and forth.

Too expensive.

STEVE:

Okay. Hit delete on that one.

Doug, tell him about your street

idea.

DOUG:

I was just thinking, you know how

people get bummed waiting outside

to get in the club.

Zadir nods, listening to this one.

STEVE:

This is good. You're gonna love

this.

DOUG:

Well, you make the outside of the

club look like the inside. You

know, you put down a rug outside

and some couches and pipe out some

music. People will love it. But,

then on the inside.

STEVE:

Oh, this is the good part.

DOUG:

... Looks like the street. You

know, you park some cars inside, a

mailbox, street signs, and that

way when they come in, it's like

the outside is the inside and

inside is the outside.

STEVE:

Doesn't that blow your mind?

MR. ZADIR

It hurts my brain to think about

it.

CUT TO:

CAMBI and VIVICA, predatory model types, scope out the

place.

CAMBI:

What about that guy?

VIVICA:

He owns a restaurant.

CAMBI:

How many?

VIVICA:

One.

CAMBI:

Uch. How'd he get in?

VIVICA:

(annoyed)

... Look, I don't see anything

over six figures... So, let's just

go.

Vivica stabs out her cigarette, begins to pack up.

CAMBI:

Wait a second. That's that Zadir

guy.

Vivica looks up.

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