A Night in Casablanca Page #3

Now I get money for Pierre.

What is this?

- Boss, you want a table?

- Yes, of course.

All right.

Get him a table, Rusty.

A table, I said.

Everybody's gonna get the table.

No checks.

There's always room for one more.

Pardon me. Did you drop this?

I beg your pardon.

- Take me to Miss Reiner's table.

- Oui, monsieur, she is here. This way.

I usually put my foot into it.

You fool.

See what you've done to my shirt.

You can hardly notice it

unless you're looking for soup.

Count Pfferman, how terrible.

If you come to the kitchen with me,

I will fix it for you.

- I hope I'm not driving you away.

- Du Schweinund!

Speaks excellent German.

Not sporting of him to eat and run.

You'll probably get stuck with the check.

That's it. Come on, folks.

Who else? Come on.

- I'm terribly thirsty.

- Thirsty?

- Waiter. What would you like to drink?

- Champagne.

Bring this lady a cheese sandwich.

Charge it to her.

- Do you rumba?

- Yes!

- I don't, but I'll walk while you rumba.

- Come on.

Hold this till I get back.

I'm back.

All right. Come on. Everybody take a table.

All right, two people. Come on.

That's it. You two.

What a great place to squeeze an orange.

I remember when this was all dance floor.

I wonder if it gets crowded here

on New Year's Eve.

All right, come on. Two more. That's it.

Come on, people. Follow me.

This place has a wonderful floorshow.

It's too bad they haven't got a floor.

Why can't we go to some quiet place...

where we could be alone?

If I didn't know your voice,

I'd have sworn I said that.

Meet me at the corner

of Rue Lafayette at 11:00.

At 11:
00?

Now we got enough money

for Pierre to take care of that rat.

Will you take over for me again?

I gotta make a phone call.

Sure. Go ahead. Rusty, you find Pierre,

you give him this money.

Here. Take the coat. I'm all finished.

Here. Go on.

We're gonna play a little classical number.

The second movement

from the Beer Barrel Polka.

Hello, darling. You're on time.

Darling, I'm afraid we're not going to enjoy

the evening much.

- What's the matter?

- The toupee's gone.

- That's good. Who took it?

- That's the trouble. I don't know.

I'm trying to find Mr. Kornblow,

but he isn't around.

- Abdul.

- Yes, Miss Bernard?

- Have you seen Mr. Kornblow?

- He went out about an hour ago.

He asked me to direct him

to the corner of Rue Lafayette.

Thank you so much.

Wait a minute.

Can that be Mr. Kornblow?

- Good heavens. What happened?

- What happened?

I was stood up by a woman

and knocked down by a car.

These Casablanca drivers are terrible.

He missed me three times.

I finally had to climb a palm tree,

and he hit that instead.

Until I saw you two

I thought every date in town was broken.

Mr. Kornblow, I'd like you

to meet my fianc, Lt. Delbar.

- Excuse my ashes.

- How do you do?

Fianc?

Why don't you two lovebirds get married?

- Marriage is impossible.

- Only after you're married.

- He means it's impossible for us.

- It's a long story, Mr. Kornblow.

- I'm all ears. Pretty near, anyway.

- Tell him, Pierre.

Sir, it's a story

about a treasure of Nazi loot...

hidden somewhere in Casablanca.

I was in Paris during the Occupation...

You fool, I ought to kill you.

Millions in our reach,

and we can't get our hands on it.

Max, please.

- Beatrice, I have an idea.

- What is it?

If I were to find Kornblow with you

in your room...

I could be the outraged fianc.

I could, as the Americans say,

"bump him off."

In self-defense, of course.

It would be as simple as that.

Yes, I could bump off Kornblow

in your room, Beatrice.

I think that's a wonderful idea.

He's most anxious to be alone with me.

Rusty, what's the matter?

You looking for somebody?

Who? Buffalo Bill?

Guy eating a watermelon?

Ouch, my corn. Blow. Kornblow.

You looking for Kornblow.

You got something for Kornblow?

What do you got?

Soup? Chinese boy.

Eat chop suey. Eat chow mein. Eat rice.

Soup and rice.

Surprise. You got surprise for Kornblow.

What's the surprise you got?

He's going hunting?

Someone's gonna hang him?

Gonna make the bump. Off. Bump off.

Somebody gonna bump off Kornblow.

Who's gonna bump off Kornblow?

Guy with a cigar? A scar?

Count with a scar.

The Count with the scar

is gonna bump off Kornblow.

Where's he gonna do this? On the roof?

Upstairs?

You knock on the door.

You open the door. You step inside.

You close the door. You're in the room.

In the room. Smart.

Wait. Whose room?

Room with a snake?

A garter snake?

Big snake.

That's no snake, no.

That's a lady. A lady's room.

The lady's room.

Wait. Was you in the room?

What's the matter?

There's a dog in the room?

What kind of dog in the room?

A look?

Look at the leg.

Peek at the knees. Pekinese dog.

She got a peek-at-the-knees dog.

Wait, who's got a peek-at-the-knees dog?

What's the lady's name? Rose?

Lady's name is Rose. No Rose.

She's slaphappy?

Bugs?

Ants? What kind of name is this?

That's airplane.

A bomber plane.

Black Widow. A Mosquito.

A B-29.

"B."

"B." Twist.

Beatrice!

We got to tell Kornblow.

Be good enough to arrange a place for me

on the evening plane for Tunis.

Tunis? There are some beautiful women

in Tunis.

I'm not interested in beautiful women.

In that case, look up some of the women

I've taken out.

Just see to it that I get my reservation.

Pfferman is flying to Tunis.

Get him a seat by an open window.

Oui, monsieur.

Boss, Rusty's got something to tell you.

Okay, I'll take one of those.

He's dumb.

He no understand plain English.

Boss, you're in danger.

Your life is hanging by a thread.

- So are my pants.

- But they're gonna kill you.

- How do you know?

- It's all over the hotel.

Everybody knows but you.

I wish they'd tell me.

I don't mind being killed...

but I resent hearing it from someone

whose head comes to a point.

Look, boss,

maybe they want to surprise you.

- I'd like to know how to dress.

- You look fine.

You're dressed to kill.

But what you need is a good bodyguard.

What I need is a good body.

The one I've got isn't won'th guarding.

Since when are you a bodyguard?

Werert you in the camel business?

In the daytime, I'm in the camel business.

At night, I'm a bodyguard.

- Suppose I get killed in the daytime.

- I'll give you a free ride on my camel.

Look, boss, I could keep you alive

for 50 francs a week.

- It isn't won'th it.

- You can't take it with you.

I'm not gonna leave it laying around here.

But if I'm your bodyguard, I'll watch you

like a mother watches her baby.

- Is she pretty?

- What's the difference?

If the mother's pretty,

I'll watch the mother...

and you can watch the baby.

- What do you got there?

- The manager's lunch.

Okay. Go in.

What's the matter? You hungry? Look out.

You crazy, but you hungry. Come on, I fix.

Boss, wait. Don't touch it. Don't!

You had me scared.

Three managers before you

died from eating poisoned food.

It doesn't look any more poisoned

than any other hotel food. Give me that.

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