A Picture Worth a Thousand Words Page #6

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What is this, casual Fridays?

Okay, look, we got to lock this up,

get them excited and signing

before they change their minds.

Did you bring the book?

It's okay. Mary's bringing a copy later.

Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.

You breathe that stuff in and, boom,

it make you loco!

Now we're all here.

All right, let me catch you up to speed.

We're talking about

marketing and rollout strategies.

Marketing and rollout strategies.

I think we should all

be thinking globally.

Boom!

I was gonna clean my room

Until I got high

Are you okay, Jack?

Jack?

Can I get you some water? All right.

Sir, may I bring you something to eat?

Maybe you'd like to start

with a lovely salad.

He'll just have water, thank you.

Thank you very much.

Yes, it's getting us all quite giddy,

the whole idea of it.

So, I think, as far as television goes,

we want a full-scale media blitz.

Morning shows, late night,

all the talk shows.

With a book like this,

we can target discount stores,

club chains, coffee shops.

I also think

we should look at product tie-ins.

Like Sinja's diets or workout tapes.

Good idea.

I've prepared contracts, which you'll

find at the back of your packets.

You'll notice

that the price has gone up slightly

and that's to reflect the author's

marketing commitments to this project.

No, thank you, Jack. I'm on Atkins.

But I really don't see any reason

why we shouldn't go ahead

and sign this right now

so we can all move forward together

as one professional team.

Jack!

Yeah, I could have just emailed this

to you.

The book is just five pages.

I'm sorry, what?

Ira, I'm sure this is all

some sort of misunderstanding.

- Samantha.

- We'll be in touch.

Jack! What the hell is wrong with you?

Acting like

a drunk 3-year-old at the table?

Not telling me

that Sinja's book is five pages long?

Don't you have anything at all to say

about this?

Jack, you're fired.

Okay, okay, please calm down.

I need you to relax, Mr. McCall.

'Cause I'm here

to help you get your job back.

I am and we're gonna do it.

But right now, I'm just really concerned

about that vein in your neck exploding.

I'm going to get it this time, I promise.

I promise. Here we go.

Okay, you.

Yes, that's you.

You...

You're talking... You talk?

Okay, we've established that.

And it's snowing.

No? Okay. Okay, yeah.

Obviously not snowing.

The leaves.

The leaves fall...

The leaves fall off the tree.

Okay. Okay.

When you talk,

all the leaves fall off the tree.

Okay, this is fun.

It's not fun. I didn't mean it like that.

And when all the leaves

fall off the tree,

you are asleep.

Okay. You're not asleep.

You're illegal. You're a stop sign?

Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

You're vogueing?

You...

When all the leaves fall off, you die!

Oh, listen, I get it.

I get it. I once took acid in college

and I thought for sure

that my hair had a heartbeat.

But it didn't!

Okay.

Pancake.

It's a coincidence.

It's not a coincidence, you idiot!

Look, you just lost five more!

I'm sorry. Can I be really honest here?

I think I know why Samantha fired you.

'Cause this is very crazy.

This is like Britney territory.

Okay, well said,

Mr. McCall, but I'm gonna go.

No, it's cool, we're cool. We're cool.

Stay? You want me

to keep an eye on the leaves?

Okay.

Never thought I'd miss

the marshmallows.

Wait, where are you going?

To pray?

To be an angel?

Okay, got it. Good luck!

Pancake.

How about now?

Falling as we speak.

Hello.

Thank you. God bless you.

Oh, my God, all the leaves just fell off

What?

No, I'm kidding.

God bless you.

Hallelujah. Now what?

Nope.

Mittens! Mittens, come down!

Come down, Mittens.

Falling?

Yeah, they are.

And, Jack, Samantha's office called.

They want me back.

I'm sorry.

Jackie, dinner time!

Here you go, sweetie pie.

- Voila!

- I knew it was gonna be ham

and mashed potatoes!

Mom, may I pick my piece first?

You may,

because you asked so politely.

Thank you.

There you go.

Shake it, don't break it, Jackie!

Hey, remember

the "I Love Ham" dance? Do that dance.

Jackie.

Jackie, it's me. I mean, I'm you!

Hey, Jackie, we're here!

I'm us! Jackie, I'm here!

No, Dad, you're not here.

You were never here. You left.

I'm not Dad.

Pie. What a concept.

You can't get pie in Bolivia,

not like pie in America.

Fruit pies, cream pies...

Sorry.

It's quite amazing

how many thoughtless words

one can speak.

Don't you think?

You don't look well, Jack.

Your marriage is over?

She took the baby and left.

Your job, too?

Sorry, Jack.

All I have for you are my beliefs,

and, well,

this snow globe from the airport.

You unhook me

from this goddamned tree!

- Please, Jack.

- I'm dying!

I know you're scared.

And I know I told you

I'd come back with the answer.

Well, the answer is

there is no answer.

No one knows about this tree, Jack,

and believe me, I tried. Okay?

I don't know

how this is going to work out for you,

but what I do know

is that you need to find peace.

If you think I'm a charlatan,

then why are you here?

You want my advice?

You need to find the truth

about yourself.

It's quite simple, Jack.

You need to get quiet.

Not just with your mouth

with your mind.

And in that quiet, you

will hear the truth.

Do you have any other

unresolved relationships in your life?

Good.

Good.

Then your wife,

does she know that you love her?

I tell her that all the time!

Words? More words, Jack.

You tell her, like meaningless leaves

that fly off a dying tree?

Words.

Can't you show her that you love her?

Make peace.

Show them that you love them.

And be truthful.

You need to accept the possibility

that when all the leaves

fall off that tree...

Mr. McCall?

Mr. McCall?

Hey! I've been calling and emailing,

and I got great ideas

about how to save your job.

Sinja's book can work.

I know, I'm excited, too.

We've been thinking about it all wrong.

Mr. McCall, are you listening?

Are you okay?

What'd you do to yourself?

You smell like my dad.

You need some help? No? Okay.

I'm not sure that getting drunk

is the best plan of attack right now.

You.

It's all your fault!

Oh, yeah, how do you like that?

Cheers!

Freaking weed!

Mr. McCall, stop talking. Come on.

You know, fertilizer is crap!

That means that technically,

you eat sh*t!

Stop talking, you idiot!

Just stop!

That's it.

What?

What are you doing?

I'm ending it. And I'm ending it funky!

Yeah, okay.

It's a hot beat.

That's the sh*t. That's Harold Melvin

and the Blue Notes.

Featuring Teddy Pendergrass!

Sing that sh*t, Teddy!

Bad luck That's what you got

Jack, stop talking.

Bad luck sure 'nuff got a hold on you

Jack, what are you doing?

Done lost your woman.

- I lost my woman.

- Jack, shut up!

You know what that means now?

Not a goddamned thing!

Jack, what are you doing? Stop talking.

What does it matter?

Look at my family. Look at my people.

- Jack!

- Look at my people! It's beautiful.

This is beautiful, my family, huh?

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