A Shot in the Dark Page #4

Do you mind putting my cue away?

Have Pierre bring the car around.

Your car is ready, monsieur.

Look, l'm, uh, dreadfully sorry, M Ballon.

Please don't concern yourself.

Maurice will do it for you.

(Clouseau) Let go of my back, you...

Thank you, monsieur.

Really, whoever invented that rack

should have his head examined.

Well...

- We will continue at another time.

- A pleasure at any time.

(thud)

I suggest you have your architect

investigated as well.

Mme Ballon is in apartment 12.

You stay here. If l'm not out within

ten minutes, send reinforcements.

(' opera music coming from apartment)

(' soprano sings)

Argh!

(bird squawks)

(bird squawks)

(bird squawks weakly)

(bird squawks)

(gunshot)

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

I'm the game warden.

- Do you have a hunting licence?

- Hunting licence?

(siren)

He was shooting crows?

He was disguised as a hunter

in order to watch the Ballon house.

Mm-hm.

Give me ten men like Clouseau

and l could destroy the world.

- Where is he now?

- I don't know.

After l got his release he got a phone call.

He ran out of his office saying he had an

important lead that would crack the case.

This case is already so full of cracks

l guess one more won't make a difference.

- Franois?

- Yes, Commissioner?

I've just cut off my thumb.

(horn)

Now then. You say you followed Maria

Gambrelli to this godforsaken place.

She took a taxi this far,

then l followed her up the pathway

to the entrance to Camp Sunshine.

- Camp Sunshine?

- Yes.

I'd have called you but then

l saw Dudu the maid also enter.

- up the path?

- Yes, but...

Look, you return to the Ballon residence

and look for more clues.

- Inspector...

- I will try to see what is afoot here.

- Inspector, l think l should...

- Hurry up. There's not a second to lose.

Good afternoon.

Hm.

I am lnspector Clouseau of the Sret.

Oh.

Tell me, have you anyone registered here

by the name of Maria Gambrelli?

Gambrelli. Yes, l believe

she checked in about an hour ago.

Yes. Gambrelli.

- 1 1 .45.

- Where can l find her?

Well, she could be most anywhere, but

my guess would be the recreation area.

Thank you.

- Can l ask you something?

- Yes?

Have you been... swimming?

Why, yes. How did you know?

It is my business to know.

Ah, ah, ah.

And where do you think you're going?

I do not think, sir.

I know where l am going.

I am going to the recreation area.

- Not like that, you're not.

- What was that you said?

I said you're not going

to the recreation area like that.

- I am lnspector Clouseau of the Sret.

- How do you do? l'm Turk.

I am on official business, looking

for someone at the recreation area.

Not unless you take off your clothes.

- You, sir, are under arrest.

- Arrest? What for?

Making lewd and suggestive

remarks to an officer.

- Lewd remarks?

- Also for indecent exposure.

- Does no one wear clothes here?

- No.

- What?

- This is a nudist colony.

- A nudist colony?

- Right.

And nobody gets in

unless they take their clothes off.

What, all of them?

All of them.

Right down to your moustache.

('jazz music)

Argh!

- Did you call the police?

- I?

- Someone called and reported a murder.

- Murder?

- Tell the men to search the camp.

- One of your men is already here.

- One of my men?

- Yes. Inspector Clouseau.

Hm.

- Ah!

- I can't understand.

Murder?

Oh!

Pssst!

- Beg your pardon.

- Clouseau.

Over here.

Quick.

Listen, that's Dudu.

- Dudu?

- She's dead.

Dead? Dudu?

(woman screams)

(people scream)

Come out! Out.

Round up everyone.

Get me that idiot, if you can find him.

Straight away, sir.

If someone has been murdered here,

please, let it be Clouseau, hm?

- (Maria) What are we going to do?

- We can't leave without clothes.

(Maria) l am getting cold.

Just look at those goose pimples.

Clouseau!

(horn)

- I know how you feel but...

- I'm having a bad dream. A nightmare.

It's nothing to what could have happened.

- What do we do now?

- Well, you keep down,

and then they can only see

the top half of me.

Perhaps they will think

that l have just come from the beach.

- We can't just keep driving around?

- No.

- Please.

- No, that's right.

I will take us to my apartment and

somehow l will try to get us inside.

Please, whatever happens,

try to keep calm.

- I can assure you she's not in the house.

- Sorry, but l must see for myself.

- She has not been in the house all day?

- She left before l did this morning

and she wasn't here

when l got back an hour ago.

- Henri can verify that.

- Henri?

- The head butler.

- I'd like to talk to Henri.

Well, he could have verified it.

- Only a few more blocks now.

- I feel like l'm losing my mind.

I'll start screaming

and l won't be able to stop.

Please, try to hold on to yourself.

(horns)

(wails)

- Control yourself, please.

- (wails)

(screams)

(screams)

(siren)

You are off the Gambrelli case.

- Report to the Department of Records.

- Records?

- In Martinique.

- What?

Tomorrow,

or you can forget your pension.

But that is not fair.

I was only doing my duty.

And l am right, you will see.

Maria Gambrelli is not a murderer.

There's something personal in this.

Yes. Deeply personal.

I hate you.

Every little bit of you. Now get out.

You want me to leave?

You are making a terrible mistake.

If Maria Gambrelli is not a murderer,

and l say she is not,

you are sending an innocent girl

to the guillotine.

Excuse me, Franois.

And another thing.

Martinique?

He's on his way.

What about those influential parties

that wanted Clouseau on the case?

Whatever they do to me now,

it is not half of what he has done already.

Ah.

Besides, l feel certain l know

who is behind those influential requests.

- Ballon.

- Ballon?

- He was having an affair with Gambrelli.

- Most likely.

At first l couldn't understand why anyone

would want a man like Clouseau

in charge of a murder case,

especially a case of this importance.

- But why would Ballon?

- He wouldn't.

unless he was protecting someone.

If you were protecting someone, who

would be the perfect man on the case?

A fool. A detective

who is a complete and utter fool.

- Clouseau?

- Of course.

If Gambrelli is convicted,

Ballon is up to his ears in a nasty scandal

and Clouseau was his insurance policy

against such a scandal.

Well, he has gone.

Ah.

I feel like a child again.

It's an interesting theory,

but what if you are wrong?

I know it's a remote possibility,

but what if you are wrong and

Ballon is not protecting Gambrelli?

What if she is innocent,

as Clouseau claims?

- Ridiculous.

- But a possibility.

What if Ballon is protecting someone else,

or what if Ballon himself

is the guilty party?

- It's a sadistic thing to suggest.

- But for the sake of discussion,

what if you are wrong,

and Clouseau - a fool,

a complete and utter fool...

- I'd be ruined.

- It's something to consider.

- Franois?

- Yes, Commissioner?

Would you please call for a doctor?

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