A Shot in the Dark Page #6

- 2.43.

- Your watch must have stopped. I've 7.46.

Yes. 7.46, yes.

- No, no, no. Now it's nearly 7.47.

- Yes, all right. 7.47.

- Are we synchronising on 7.47?

- That is what you said.

No, l said it was nearly.

I've now, ooh... ten seconds to 7.47.

- I've got ten seconds after 7.47.

- Put your watch back.

- Yes, all right.

- Five seconds.

- Yes.

- Four.

Three.

(both) Two. One.

Now.

That's strange.

The second hand is not moving.

- It's ticking.

- It's moving now.

What? Yes. Yes, it is. Yes.

I know that. I can see that is moving now.

- And now l've 7.47 and 23 seconds.

- All right.

- Let's synchronise on 7.47 and a half.

- Very good.

(both) Five. Four.

Three.

Two. One.

- Now.

- My watch has stopped.

Your watch has stopped?

A remarkable coincidence.

It's stopped completely.

Hm.

- Look here. Take my watch.

- What about you?

- I'll keep talking till the lights go out.

- We won't be synchronised.

Yes, it'll be all right. Don't worry.

I'll find a way out of it.

(door opens)

Very kind of you. There's no need

for you to stand. Please sit down.

Now then. I expect you're wondering

why l've asked you all here.

Whatever the reason,

it's a damn nuisance.

We eat at nine and

you've brought everything to a standstill.

You will not be inconvenienced

for long, M Ballon.

Your clock has stopped, M Ballon.

Yes, but if you want to know the time

it's exactly 7.50.

You are slow, darling. It's 7.52.

No, my darling. This watch has not lost

a second since the day you gave it to me.

I didn't give it to you.

I have 7.55, monsieur.

- That is what l have.

- You are both fast.

No, my watch is right. I'll prove it to you.

Would you tell me the right time, please?

(phone rings)

Yes? lt's for you, lnspector.

Ah, it's for me.

- Yes?

- What time is it?

What?

- Your watch has stopped.

- Where are you?

In the basement.

I had the operator call you.

I can't pull the switch at eight

if l don't know what time it is.

- It's, uh, 7.54.

- 55 now.

I just realised something.

I still won't know when it's eight o'clock.

- Count.

- What?

Count.

Oh, count. You mean seconds?

Yes, that is exactly what l mean,

and don't dare call me here again.

Now then.

Now then. I will tell you...

why l have called you all here tonight.

One of you... is a murderer.

Before l name the killer...

I will explain to you the facts

that led me to discover his...

or her... identity.

Now then.

The night the chauffeur was...

- What was the chauffeur's name?

- Miguel.

- Migwell, yes.

- No, Miguel.

- Migwell.

- Miguel.

- Well, this ltalian...

- Well, he was a Spaniard.

Well, this Spaniard, um, Mingwell,

he was furious with Maria Gambrelli.

He tore her dress off.

He protested violently.

Argh! Ooh, my foot!

I'm terribly sorry. I beg your pardon.

I did not notice her. Excuse me.

He tore her dress off, and at that

precise moment, the door opened...

and somebody... somebody shot him.

Maria could not see who the killer was

because she was unconscious.

She was unconscious because

she had received a beump on the head.

A what?

A beump.

There is only one way she could

have received a beump like that.

She was hit upon the head by an object,

and the object was the knob

on the closet door.

Somebody was hiding in the closet,

and when they opened the door

she received a beump upon the head.

- For heaven's sake, come to the point.

- Don't tangle words with...

- Ow! You clumsy idiot!

- Sorry. I'm terribly sorry.

Ow!

- (thud)

- (both) Oh!

Oh, those feathers.

Oh, l am coming, Maria, my darling.

My darling, l...

Ooh.

Careful, monsieur, with me.

Do not tangle with me.

I'm a trained expert in karate.

My hands are lethal weapons.

Hm.

Now then.

There is something that l am very

interested to know. These rumours...

- What happened? What?

- You fell off the sofa, you stupid...

I know l fell off the sofa, madame.

There is no need to tell me.

Everything l do

is carefully planned, madame.

I know that.

Now then.

uh...

What was l saying? uh...

Listen, you, you daydreaming fool.

What are you doing there?

Can't you pay attention when l'm talking?

You're not listening to me.

With the greatest respect,

l heard every word.

Would you be kind enough

to tell me what l said?

- You were talking about the closet.

- Well, yes?

You said that when the door was opened

Maria received a bump on the head

and from that that you inferred

that someone was hiding...

She received a beump on...

And listen, monsieur.

Next time l may test you without warning

so pay attention at all times.

- Yes, monsieur.

- Now then.

Whoever was in that closet opened

the door and knocked Maria unconscious.

Whoever the man was that was in that

closet had a reason to be in that closet.

- How do you know it was a man?

- Because we found his fingerprints.

And... they were your fingerprints.

It's my house.

I've often been in that closet.

- For what reason?

- Last time it was moths.

Meuths?

- Moths.

- Yes, meuths.

Maria was complaining of meuths.

Meuths?

Is that right, that you were

complaining about these meuths?

Yes, l did complain about moths.

Oh, you mean meuths. Yes, the flying

meuths, you mean. Yes, of course.

No, but what l do not understand is

that in a household of this size,

the question of meuths is brought

to the attention of M Ballon,

not one of the servants

or the local meuth exterminator.

However, we will pass over that,

and we will continue to concentrate

on another type of local exterminator.

Maria Gambrelli, even though

she now realises it was a mistake,

is not a sort of a woman to have an affair

with a man and then expose him.

And we cannot condemn her, because

she does not believe this man was a killer.

But this man was not only a killer.

He was an unprincipled villain

who would rather see Maria go to the

guillotine than lose her to another man.

He was hiding in the closet when she

came into the room with the Spaniard.

He shot the Spaniard,

and put the gun in Maria's hand.

- You don't know what you're on about.

- Benjamin. Shut up.

- You have something to say, M Ballon?

- He has nothing to say.

No, but she has. Why don't you ask her?

How dare you.

- She was sleeping with my husband.

- Liar!

Your husband was having

an affair with my wife.

- Liar!

- Thank you.

- And what about you and Simone?

- Oh, no!

- And you and Georges?

- You killed him.

- I saw you go to the greenhouse.

- He's crazy. Why should l kill Georges?

- You were having an affair.

- Kill him for that?

No, because you knew

he was carrying on with Madame.

- I saw you kill Dudu.

- Liar.

- I saw you.

- It's insane. Why should l kill Dudu?

Because you discovered...

that she was having an affair with Pierre.

- Not true.

- She told me.

Of course, because you and Dudu

were blackmailing Madame.

- You liar!

- She said she saw Madame kill Miguel.

- Shut up!

- That's not possible.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes