A Stitch in Time Page #4

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What do you say, laddie? Hm?

It'll be all be over like that.

Just throw yourself in the road.

- I hope I don't get killed.

- Stop fussing, Pitkin.

Look, there's a nice little safe one

coming along now.

- That old one?

- Beggars can't be choosers, you know.

- Give us a push.

- Not likely. I won't get in trouble.

Just shut your eyes,

count up to three and then... you dive.

One, two...

three.

Oi! I nearly shifted my load then!

Get out of it!

Don't you know your Highway Code?

- Pitkin!

- Oh, no, Mr Grimsdale, not that.

Of course not.

I've got a good idea, though.

- What?

- Well, don't you see?

I've been taking risks

to try and get you injured

when all the time,

the easy way to get in the hospital

is to have a patient

rather than be a patient.

- So all we need is a patient.

- Yes.

- And uniforms.

- And unifo...

Oh, trust you, Pitkin,

to ruin my best ideas.

How many times must I tell you

that the only way to get a uniform

is to pass the St John Ambulance

examination now?

If we need a patient and uniforms,

it might surprise you to know

that I have got an idea.

Open the doors! Oi!

Let's beat the ambulance,

I know a short cut.

Look out!

Come in.

- Sorry to disturb you.

- Something wrong?

I'm worried about Lindy.

She has a high temperature.

I'll call Dr Davis.

It's not a doctor she

needs, it's Mr Pitkin.

Really, Nurse!

I'm not going over all that again.

- But Matron...

- Sir Hector has ruled he can't come here.

- The subject is closed.

- What's the trouble?

- Nothing.

- But Matron...

Nurse! You may go.

Sir Hector, please. Won't you

reconsider your banning Mr Pitkin?

I most certainly will not.

His visits to a child

have done nothing but good.

Rubbish! He's done nothing but harm.

I'll not tolerate his presence

within a mile of here!

Whoa, Pitkin. We did it.

Thanks for the lift, boys.

I live just over the road.

Don't you worry, Pitkin.

I'll get you in there somehow.

I'll get in, all right. I'm going in now.

I'm gonna walk straight in!

But you've been banned.

Just wait, I'll have another idea soon.

Another idea Only if it concerns

getting your gold watch back.

- Well, I'm very proud of my watch.

- Shut up about your watch.

Don't you dare talk to me like that!

You're still in my employ.

You mean I was.

I've got it, Pitkin! I've got an idea!

Now, trust me, Pitkin,

just once more, eh?

- Well...

- Ah. There you are.

Sunshine Ball tonight on television.

Just get in front of the camera and wave

and let Lindy see you on television.

You've seen them do it.

That's it.

- How are we gonna get into the ball?

- Ahh.

St John Ambulance Brigade Ball

and we are wearing

St John Ambulance Brigade uniforms.

How is Lindy gonna find out

that I'm appearing on television?

Say it with flowers.

- Mr Pitkin sent these.

- Oh.

They're for Lindy. Thank you, Nurse.

Lindy? Mr Pitkin sent you some flowers.

So, you see, he hasn't forgotten you.

And a note.

Can I, er, help you, sir?

It's all right, porter, thank you.

We're on duty.

Erm... fainting cases, you see,

and we get people who've had

too much to drink and punch-ups and...

Round the back.

What do you mean, round the...? I've...

There's the television camera,

over there by that table.

- If we can get round there...

- Wait, I've been thinking. It's too risky.

- No. Lindy will be watching for me.

- But Pitkin, listen.

Ooh! Sorry but suddenly

I've got the most terrible headache.

Poor darling. I'll ask one of those

first-aid men for an aspirin.

- All right. Have it your own way!

- I will. Here I go, then.

- Excuse me?

- Certainly.

'Good evening

and welcome to the Arlington Hotel,

'for our grand charity ball for the

Children's Sunshine Holiday Home.

'Now it is my very pleasant duty

to introduce our guest of honour,

'delightful, charming,

generous Lady Brinkley.'

What are you doing here?

It's much too late for television.

- But I must watch it.

- I'm sorry, darling. Bed.

- Please, Nurse.

- Come on.

'Tonight you will see, amongst other

items of star-studded entertainment,

'a display by our own

St John's Ambulance Brigade band.'

This fine body of men...

each one volunteered to train

in the traditional arts of music

and precision marching

just as enthusiastically

as they dedicate themselves

to the sick and suffering,

- with the same purpose in mind...

- Oh!

...charity. Ladies and gentlemen...

Cha... Ooh! Charity.

- Everything all right?

- Yes, fine.

Except I found Lindy

watching television.

She's back in bed now.

Lindy's gone but I know where she is.

But Janet!

Ladies and gentlemen, if you will

kindly clear the floor, it is cabaret time.

Thank you.

Pitkin, you've gone too far. Let's go.

Can't you go any faster?

Hey.

It's a bit late for a

little lady to be out.

I'm going to see Mr Pitkin

at the Arlington Hotel.

Mmm. Funny thing, we're going that way.

We'll give you a lift.

This young lady

wishes to see a Mr Pitkin.

Lindy?

Lindy, you shouldn't be here.

I want to see Mr Pitkin.

I know he's here and I want to see him.

- But Lindy...

- Please.

Take her up on the balcony, miss.

You'll be out of the way up there.

All right, come on.

Stand by.

Right.

Rows by the centre, quick march!

Oh!

All right! Enjoy yourselves!

Go on, enjoy yourselves! Laugh!

Laugh your heads off!

There's nothing in them anyway!

Only your own selfish thoughts!

"What shall we do tonight?"

"There's a dance on at the Arlington."

Well, it's not a dance.

It's a charity ball.

It's being run to collect money

for the new Children's Sunshine Home.

To help people who don't even know

what a place like this looks like!

All right,

maybe I did make one or two mistakes.

But if you'd given some money,

they wouldn't have been forced

to have this ball!

A little charity could've paid for

a holiday at the seaside

and perhaps a stick of rock

for all the children like Lindy.

But you don't understand about giving.

You only understand

enjoying yourselves!

Well, go on, then! Everybody dance!

- Lady Brinkley, not your bracelet!

- Why ever not?

And your necklace?

Oh, my dear, you're terribly kind.

Darling, oh, you're sweet. Too, too kind.

We must find that small person

and thank him.

I shall do so immediately.

Come on, lad.

Don't take it so much to heart,

- you done your best.

- Mr Pitkin!

Oh, Lindy. Lindy!

You couldn't come to see me

so I came to see you.

- I'm better now.

- You are, aren't you?

She's so well she'll be leaving us soon.

Thanks to you.

So, you mean...

there won't be any need for us to

try to get into the hospital any more?

No.

Pitkin!

- Bye, Lindy!

- Pitkin!

I have some good news for you.

Sir Hector's allowed you to have a visitor

this morning. Here she is.

Look what I've brought.

- Oh!

- Are you uncomfortable?

No. Well, would you raise my leg

a bit higher, please?

Can I do it?

Oh!

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