A Stitch in Time Page #3

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Don't! Don't! No.

Don't. Oh, no!

Faster, faster!

Let me go. Oh, please!

Somebody answer the phone.

- Emergency, sir.

- What?

Football. The away team have a penalty,

the crowd are going mad!

Right. Every available man

on the ambulances.

It'll be a good chance

to see some action.

Hurry up. Quickly.

Go to it. Go to it, now.

Ooh!

Come on there!

- All right.

- Step to it, man.

Pitkin will be disappointed

he missed the excitement.

Afternoon.

What's he doing out of bed?

- Seems like a new patient, Doctor.

- Yeah.

He appears restless.

We'd better quieten him down.

Then we can get him to

the operating theatre.

With all these injuries,

one hardly knows where to stick it.

- Start to count.

- There's nothing wrong!

One, two...

three, four...

five...

six...

sevennn...

- eight...

- How many?

Eich...

Nurse, start removing

the bandages in 15 minutes.

Yes, Doctor.

Now, don't move.

And what have you been up to?

Oh... Oh, it was terrible.

I've been going round and round...

Don't worry.

The hospital can take care of you.

Oh, well, I've been banned

from the hospital.

- How did you get in, then?

- Through... through the window.

Win... In the ambulance?

On it.

On top of it. On the roof?

- Really?

- But there's nothing wrong with me.

No, of course there isn't.

If you'll excuse me just for a moment,

I'll be straight back.

Dr Meadows, please.

Hello, Doctor? Nurse Rudkin here.

That accident case has just come round.

He's saying the most peculiar things.

You'd better come at once.

- Nurse...

- He's gone, Doctor!

What?

Oh, I'm so glad I'm off duty.

There's a patient missing

from Emergency.

Dangerous too. Bit, er, you know.

You going on duty or coming off?

Actually, I'm, erm... going on.

Oh, poor you.

I've got a date with Dr Mason.

He's so gorgeous.

Blue eyes and a Bentley to match.

Cute, don't you think? Saves time

and makes one feel like a new girl.

You got one?

Ooh!

No, not yet.

Oh, well. Better get my new face ready.

Face?

Be a darling

and hand me the towel, will you?

Yes!

- Here you are.

- I'm over here!

Oh, clumsy!

Matron, what is going on?

A patient has gone berserk

and is running amok in the hospital.

This would happen! Whatever you do,

keep him away from the main hall.

I'm going there

to be interviewed by the press.

Hello, Lindy.

Lindy, hello.

Lindy, it's me.

- Don't you know me?

- Nurse?

Nurse.

Mr Pitkin. Why are you dressed like this?

Well, of course,

I won't go all round bushes

but they was going to operate on me,

so I had to get away.

- So you're the escaped patient.

- Expect so.

Sorry I look so silly in these

but it was the only way

I could keep my promise to see Lindy.

- Lindy thinks the world of you.

- Really?

Children are quick to sense

a kind and lovable man.

Oh, erm... What about grown-ups?

I mean... Are they quick to...?

You realise you can't stay here like this.

- Remember last time.

- Can't I see Lindy just for a minute?

No work to do?

Nurse.

This is not your ward, is it?

Me? Erm...

- No.

- Well, what are you doing here?

He... She's just popped over

from the men's ward, Matron.

Just popped...

I was going to borrow, erm...

- what's-her-name.

- You're new here, aren't you?

Yes. Very, very new.

You're on probation.

No, but er... I will be if I get caught.

Extraordinary girl.

Nurse!

What is wrong? What do you want?

Hm?

I can't hear a word you're saying.

What?

Speak up.

- Ah!

- Ah.

Nurse?

Bed number five.

I thought it was...

two boiled eggs, bread and butter.

- And a pot of tea.

- Report to my office immediately.

Could we have a nurse with you?

The feminine touch is more interesting.

I'm sure but they're much too busy.

Oh, Nurse! Just one moment, dear.

How would you like your picture taken

with Sir Hector?

Me? Well, I can hardly say no, can I?

- Hello again.

- Oh, er... hello.

Hold it.

- Please, please, not my arm.

- One more.

Wait, wait.

What's the matter, dear?

- He sloshed me.

- Shh. They'll hate me.

- Well, you hurt me.

- Well, I'm sorry!

Now, we must have one in the car.

Do you mind?

Bags the driving seat!

Shouldn't I...?

I don't think I can do this.

Oh, but I want to.

- I don't care what you want!

- They'll hate you.

- And so will I.

- Oh, all right!

Dear, just one moment.

May I just have your leg out there?

And just over...

And that's just... Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, you devil!

Pretty.

Thank you, dear.

- Just one more, please?

- Really!

We'd like the car by the thermometer.

So just drive round there. Thank you.

- But I...

- What are you waiting for?

- I can't drive!

- You can't... She can't drive.

Take the handbrake off

and we'll push you.

Leave it alone!

Put the handbrake on! The hand...

- Look out!

- What shall I do?

Matron!

Give it to me!

Oh, I am a silly girl.

You're a daft, stupid idiot!

You!

If I find you near this hospital again,

I personally will throw you out!

In fact, I shall do it now.

Come here.

If I get hold of you, I'll...

Get out and stay out!

- It wasn't your fault, then.

- No. I told him I couldn't drive.

Yes but...

they'll probably put the blame on you -

no sense of fair play.

I know. But I promised Lindy I'd go back.

Once you got in as a patient,

you ought to have stayed there.

They was gonna operate on me!

I wouldn't mind if I had an illness.

- Illness? Pitkin, that's a very good idea!

- What?

If I shut you in the refrigerator...

- Bloomin' cold.

- That's just it.

If you were in there for about an hour,

you'd develop double pneumonia.

Mr Grimsdale. Couldn't I stay in half

an hour and have single pneumonia?

Don't spoil the ship

for a ha'porth of tar.

Besides, that little

girl's lost without you.

Amy, what time is it?

Three o'clock, Mr Grimsdale.

Let me know when it's four, will you?

Are you feeling better, dear?

Don't cry, Lindy.

Mr Pitkin did come and see you,

only you were asleep.

He did, darling.

And I'm sure he'll come again.

Mr Grimsdale, you did say

at four o'clock to remind you?

- Yes.

- But my watch has stopped.

Wind it up, then. What time is it now?

- Five.

- Five?

Ring up Dr Carlsdale

and tell him to come at once!

Pitkin! Time's up!

Oh!

- Doctor, good of you to come.

- Nothing serious, I hope.

I came as quickly as I...

...could. How long's he been like that?

About an hour.

Yes, well, I'll just go and...

I think he's thawed out nicely, Doctor.

- Here we are.

- Let me give you a hand.

Thank you. Let him down, easy.

- Could you undo his...

- His feet. Yes, right-o.

- Ooh.

- Double pneumonia?

Get some dry clothes on,

you'll catch a cold. Good day, gentlemen.

- Hey.

- I let you down, didn't I?

You could've been more cooperative.

I've done my very utmost to get you in.

I appreciate that, Mr Grimsdale!

How can I see Lindy?

You're obviously immune from illness,

so the only way to become

a patient is to have an accident.

I won't let 'em operate on me.

Oh, don't be a coward.

They'll use an anaesthetic.

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