A Touch of Class Page #3

Synopsis: American Steve Blackburn, in the insurance business, is married with two kids. Vickie Allessio, a self described design "stealer" for a knockoff fashion house, is a recent divorcée with two kids. Steve and Vickie are running into each other more and more in their day to day lives in London before even knowing who the other is, which suits them both fine, as when they do finally officially meet, Steve is up front that he wants to have an affair with her, Steve who has had affairs in the past whenever his wife Gloria, who is from old money, isn't around which is currently the case as she is in the States visiting her parents. Vickie, in turn, is up front that she is amenable to a no-strings affair with him under specific circumstances, namely that it be at least a classy short term affair, meaning no cheap motels, and preferably a weekend away somewhere warm. Able to arrange a business trip to Málaga, Spain, for a week, Steve convinces Vickie to change their agreed weekend to a week and
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Melvin Frank
Production: Media Home Entertainment
  Won 1 Oscar. Another 10 wins & 10 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.5
Rotten Tomatoes:
91%
PG
Year:
1973
106 min
331 Views


You'd better go down alone.

I think that makes sense, too.

Miss Ramos, cancel my in-laws,

my wife and my children.

Just you and Mother.

Roger.

Are you free?

It's lberia. There's rather a lot. I think

if you went round it might be easier.

- Thanks. How much?

- &2, madam.

- Goodbye.

- 'Bye.

- Thanks very much.

- Cheers.

Hey, Steve. Steve.

- Over here, it's Walter.

- Hello, Walter.

How are you doing?

- Where are you headed? Mlaga?

- Yeah.

So am I. Who are you with?

Nobody.

- Good. We'll sit together on the plane.

- Swell.

That's terrific.

I hate to sit with strangers on a plane.

They try to tell you their life story.

They really annoy you.

You know what I mean?

- Gloria all right?

- Fine. Great.

- And the children?

- The children are great.

Steve, there is something

I wanted to talk to you about.

I got this screenplay ready to shoot.

It's a Western with weirdoes.

I got these Apaches...

...and they start sucking this peyote root.

It drives them crazy.

Everyone starts banging everyone else.

It's got everything: Pot, sex, massacres,

orgies. Take the whole family.

It's gonna cost about $600,000.

Do you think Gloria's old man

would like to go in for about $200,000?

- What?

- The picture I just told you about.

Sorry, Walt. That's my deaf side.

Do you think Gloria's father

would invest $250,000 in my new picture?

- No.

- Are you sure?

Positive. He's been approached before.

You know something?

I liked you better when you couldn't hear.

I ordered a car, a Seat 124.

Seor Blackburn, if you complete

the papers, I'll get the keys.

- A Seat 124 is really a Fiat.

- Yes.

It's not a bad little car.

It'll hold all the luggage you have.

- Don't talk to me. Don't look at me.

- What?

- What's the matter?

- Steve, boy.

- That's what's the matter.

- Hi, Walter. Son of a b*tch.

You'd think those customs guys

would know me by now.

What a mess. Excuse me, Miss.

- I beg your pardon.

- Stand by, pal. I may need you.

I'm Walter Menkes of Menkes Films.

I'd like a Seat 124.

I'm sorry. We don't have one car left.

You've got a car. A car.

- Yeah.

- Good, you can give me a lift.

You can find him a car.

He's a friend of mine.

What's the sweat?

You drop me off at Los Monteros.

- They got cars.

- It's on your way.

- Patty and the kids are waiting.

- What about those cars?

- They're reserved.

- You must have something.

We do have a Seat 600

that's just been returned.

But I'm a little nervous about the clutch.

- He'll take it.

- What do you mean?

You know what a 600 is?

It's a kiddie car. It's this big.

- Oh, boy.

- You've got to step outside to shift gears.

You don't drive it. You mail it.

In the water,

it becomes an outboard motor.

All right, Walter.

You take my car. I'll take the 600.

- This is stupid.

- It's not stupid.

I'll drop you off.

- We'll have a nice ride, pleasant talk.

- It's no good.

Why not?

I've got this...

I've got a trick back.

If someone else drives...

...it could easily go right into spasm.

- Spasm?

You know, you're a sick fellow

with the ear and the spasms.

It's 2:
00 a.m. I have to drive two hours.

Please take the car.

- Can I at least buy you a meal?

- Sure.

Tonight?

- Great.

- Dinner?

- Fine.

- Why should you be alone?

We'll have a nice quiet evening.

Just you, me, Patty and the boys.

We'll have a fun evening.

- After dinner, I'll read you the screenplay.

- I look forward to it.

Miss?

- Can I give you a lift?

- Thank you. I'm being met.

You should go. It sounds like fun.

What is this?

- Where do I sign?

- Here.

- Ever been in one of these?

- In Italy, when I was younger and shorter.

- Can you manage this?

- On my knee. Anything else?

Well, there's this.

- Gracias.

- Gracias.

If the clutch gives you any trouble,

change the car in Marbella.

I'll keep it in mind.

- Have a pleasant trip.

- Bye-bye.

- Thank you.

- Adis.

That's second, it's an Italian gearbox.

- Thanks.

- No, that's third. First is up here.

- See?

- I see.

Good thing you're here.

- Ready?

- Yes.

- Nervous?

- No.

That's my girl.

It's a nice little car. It spins right along.

- You're still in first.

- Of course.

- Use the clutch.

- Right.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

There's a car coming.

There's a truck, it's trying to pass you.

Come on.

You're still in third.

- Would you like to drive?

- No.

- You sure?

- Positive.

Besides, I didn't bring my license.

For God's sake.

You'd think there'd be a porter

or something.

Leave the stuff here

and I'll come back for it.

It's all right.

I've always wanted long arms.

- You all right?

- I'm all right.

Good morning, sir.

My name is Blackburn.

This is Mrs. Allessio.

- We ordered a suite.

- Un momento, seor.

I'm sorry, Mr. Blackburn...

...but there's no reservation for a suite.

It's a room. A double room.

- Any objections?

- Anything, as long as I can see Gibraltar.

- Will we see Gibraltar?

- S, seor.

This way, please.

Just one moment, please. What is that?

What is what?

Does Gibraltar

have washing hanging all over it?

What are you talking about?

Because if it doesn't,

we don't have a view of Gibraltar.

What do we have a view of?

Roughly, I'd say the laundry.

Don't be ridiculous. They don't even have

big laundries down here.

- What is that out there?

- It's the laundry.

It's the laundry.

I told you we want to see Gibraltar.

We want a room with a view of Gibraltar,

comprende?

S, seor.

What we'd like, seor,

is a room with a view...

...and a toilet with a seat.

That's not asking too much, is it?

Vickie?

Why don't we unpack in the morning?

- Aren't you tired?

- Only of unpacking.

I see.

Very well.

- Would you like that light on or off?

- Whichever you prefer.

- How about on?

- Certainly.

Would you do me a very big favor?

I thought that's what I was doing.

Would you mind getting on the other side?

What's wrong with this side?

Nothing, it's just more natural for me

being on that side.

I don't want to cause

an international incident...

...but it's more natural for me this side.

We always started this way.

- We?

- Me and my Italian.

He had this tennis elbow

and a bad shoulder and...

Anyway, I just got used to this side.

It doesn't work for me.

- Why not?

- I'm deaf in my left ear.

What's that got to do with it?

- I won't be able to hear you.

- I'm not going to say very much.

You're going to breathe.

Sometimes that sounds pretty good.

Who knows? A word of encouragement

may slip out, it could do wonders.

- Shall I walk around?

- What?

Shall I walk around?

Why don't you slip over

and I'll slide under?

No, I think it's better if I slip under

and you slide over.

Why don't we just kind of roll towards...

It's getting awfully late. Why don't you

just get on top and hope for the best?

- I've heard it put more romantically.

- Indeed.

Christ, you're beautiful.

- My God, you can see Gibraltar.

- Where?

- What's the matter?

- Spasm.

- I'm in spasm.

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Melvin Frank

Melvin Frank was an American screenwriter, film producer and film director. He is known for his work on films such as Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, The Court Jester, and A Touch of Class. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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