A Touch of Class Page #5

- Starting from here?

- S.

- Hundred, hundred, hundred?

- S.

- They're gonna give me two shots aside?

- S.

It's their money.

Seor, my cousins' friends

would like to bet on me.

- Your cousins' friends want to bet on you?

- S.

- Same action as before?

- S.

Okay, kid.

- Hey, seor.

- What is it?

My cousins' friends' cousins

would like to bet on me.

- Your cousins' friends' cousins?

- S.

- Same action as before?

- S.

Okay, kid. Get out the way you got in.

Vale.

Perdname.

What are you doing? What's all this?

Here is your money.

Forget it. I just got lucky.

You win a few, you lose a few. Here.

Buy the boys a drink. See you later.

What's bugging you now?

- Apart from the fact you're still in second?

- Yes.

All right. This isn't a romantic holiday,

it's a proving ground.

I think you brought me here for

the same reason you had to beat that kid.

- You do, huh?

- I do, "huh."

And I think your wife

gives you two shots aside...

...and she's not happy in the end, either.

Let's get one thing straight,

since I came with you, not Freud...

...which was my first mistake,

I've had all the amateur analysis I can take.

- Is that clear?

- Perfectly, and you're still in second.

I'm going to Mlaga

to take care of my business.

I figure I'll eat out. Alone.

You'll enjoy the company.

Hey, Steve!

I just called your room.

I wanted to see if you're still free tonight.

- I sure am, Walter.

- Good.

Antonio's at the port at 8:30.

- Good. See you then.

- Okay.

- Where are you going?

- Business.

How's the clutch?

- What?

- The clutch!

- Fine!

- Okay.

Hello.

- Miss Allessio?

- Yes.

This is the lady you met this morning.

The one with the little boy.

- You borrowed his chest.

- How are you?

Would you like to go to dinner

with my husband and me tonight?

That would be very nice.

Great. We'll pick you up at about 8:15.

I'll look forward to it.

- Good evening, sir.

- Mr. Menkes' table.

Hey, Steve, over here!

Hello, Walter.

- Sorry I'm late.

- It's all right.

- Hello, Patty.

- Hi, Steve. How are you?

Steve, this is Vickie Allessio.

You two are in the same hotel.

This is Steve Blackburn.

Mr. Blackburn.

Mrs. Allessio.

We're off and running.

But you've got to be careful.

He's a slow starter, but he finishes fast.

So watch out.

- Wally.

- What's wrong?

They're two healthy people,

down here on their own.

No ties. No responsibilities.

It makes your mouth water.

Wally.

What do you want to drink?

- Whatever Mrs. Allessio wants.

- Whatever Mr. Blackburn wants.

- What about sangria?

- Yes. They say sangria's great.

- Lovely.

- Fine.

Camarero!

It's very Spanish. We're here.

Could I have some water?

Camarero!

I was just telling Wally this afternoon,

it's a shame Steve's wife couldn't come.

You'd just love her. Wouldn't she?

- They'd love each other.

- Really?

She's such an amazing girl.

She's had every advantage,

and you'd never know.

No pretenses, no airs.

She sounds wonderful.

- Why didn't you bring her?

- I wish I had.

You'd never get Gloria to leave those kids.

She devotes herself to them,

night and day. Especially the little one.

- How old is Josie now?

- Seven.

Cute as a button, but she's got a bit of a...

- What is it, a metabolism problem?

- Metabolism.

Oh, dear.

- So she's a little on the heavy side.

- Of course.

Could I have some more wine?

Camarero!

But Josie's really a lovely girl,

and once she finishes at the orthodontist...

...she's gonna be gorgeous.

She has crooked teeth?

I think there's something more interesting

to talk about...

...than my daughter's metabolism rate

or fixing her teeth.

We could talk about my kids' teeth,

but they don't stop eating long enough...

...to get them fixed.

Did I say something wrong?

Oh, boy.

There you go "oh, boying" again.

What's bothering Mr. Sensitive now?

What do you know about sensitivity,

picking on a child?

I did not. I'm sure she's a lovely girl.

A lovely fat girl with crooked teeth.

- They're not crooked. Just overlapping.

- That's crooked.

- This is ridiculous. Let's call a truce.

- Fine by me.

You are extraordinary. I've never known

an adult who could be hurt so easily.

- Do you come from a large family?

- Yes, I do.

Lots of brothers and sisters?

There you are, then.

Your mother spent too much time

with the others.

Is this a seminar on family relations?

You finish chopping up my daughter,

you start on my mother.

It's a strange time

to start attacking someone's mother.

- I wasn't attacking. I was talking.

- I don't call that talking.

- Tearing up a lady who never did you harm.

- I don't believe this!

She was a marvelous woman.

And I'll tell you this:

We weren't the richest kids,

but I never went to school in a dirty shirt.

Dear God!

Polio shots.

First electric blanket on the block.

Great food in the winter.

You lie there and hack away

at a woman like that.

Suddenly, I'm in bed with your mother.

In bed with my mother?

That's the most disgusting thing

I've ever heard in my life.

- What are you doing now?

- I'm leaving the sanatorium.

I've had enough therapy.

- I'm going back to London, tonight.

- It'll do us both the world of good.

You bet your ass.

What a washout this has been.

I'm gonna press it in my book of memories.

You should have been a worm.

A cestode worm. You know why?

Because it has a complete set

of male and female sexual organs...

...in each of its 100 sections,

and spends its life copulating with itself.

Wouldn't that be lovely? You could've

taken you away for a weekend.

You'd have had you all to yourself.

And all those questions.

"Was I good? You were wonderful.

Did the earth move? The house collapsed.

"Am I manly?

No, but you're a great worm."

You missed your profession: A worm.

Crawling and humping its way through life,

and badly.

Thank you.

- Where are you going?

- London. It's where I live.

You can leave tomorrow.

I've had this place with or without you,

and even if we must go together...

...I am going home to my thin children,

with their straight teeth.

You can go tomorrow.

- I am going now!

- All right. Okay.

But I don't want to hear one more word

out of you ever. Is that understood?

Perfectly. So listen very clearly,

because this is the last thing I will say:

Make a reservation.

Not necessary.

And if you're not downstairs in 10 minutes,

I'm leaving without you.

You can stay here and find another worm,

and hold another seminar.

- Can I help you, sir?

- Flight 826 to London.

- Two tickets, please.

- Flight 826 to London is full.

- Flight 826 to London is never full.

- It is tonight, sir.

- When did the last two tickets go?

- Just a few moments ago.

Press that in your book of memories.

- When is the next plane to London?

- 11:
30, tomorrow morning.

- Can I help you, miss?

- Thank you, I'm getting very good at this.

- Good night.

- Good night.

Welcome to the house of mirth.

One phone call. One stupid phone call.

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