Abbott and Costello Go to Mars Page #6

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Go ahead. See? Nothing happens.

It works! Hold this. I'm

gonna kiss her. Certainly.

Well!

Bip!

Uh-oh!

Here. Gimme that. I'm the king. No,

I'm the king. No, I don't want it.

I don't want it. I'm

the king. No, gimme this.

I knew I should

never trust a man!

Hey, the-the balloons.

Where's the balloons?

You'll pay dearly for this. It

wasn't me. It was him. Honest.

I'll find out how honest

you really are. Sit down.

What are you?

I'm the king.

Well then, show her who's boss. Sit down!

Ohh. This is also a machine

of extrasensory perception...

based on the principle

of the positronic brain.

It's able to decipher between

the true and the false.

Oh, this is your type

of a lie detector.

I have nothing to worry about.

I don't tell any lies.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. Are you gonna ask me

questions or serve me at a barbecue?

I'm going to find out

the truth. Sit down!

You heard the queen.

Sit down!

My pal. What did you think

of when that girl came to you?

Nothing.

Stop hollering.

I'm burnt up.

Now, listen, Queenie.

If you want to cook me, turn

me over. I'm done on one side.

Sit down! Not until I'm

ready. I'm ready! I'm ready!

This is a vicious queen. The Queen

of Spades, Dirty Dora. Must be.

Did you kiss that girl?

Yes, I did.

When you kissed her,

what did you think of?

I was thinkin' of you.

Guards! Guards!

Seize them.

Refuel the ship and

get them off this planet.

Have the two brought from

the dungeon. They'll go also.

I wouldn't make book on that!

Me and my constituents

just had a caucus,

and I don't think they're gonna go

for your order of male departure.

We demand a vote!

Just a minute. Uh, Queenie,

I request that this

delegation be polled.

Silence!

Very well.

Before we put the matter to a vote,

first look at these men,

and I use the term loosely.

Hmm.

And now,

see what men really look like.

Angelica, turn the

vis-a-screen to retrospect.

The Secretary of the Interior.

Oh!

The Secretary of the Treasury.

Oh!

The Secretary of War.

Oh!

The king.

Fine figure of a man he was.

You can turn it off now, Angelica.

I think I've proved my point.

The question is, do we keep

these sad-looking specimens or not?

All those in favor of sending them

back, please signify by saying "aye. "

Aye!

Opposed?

No!

You're out of order. The ayes

have it. Meeting adjourned.

The spaceship

is refueled and ready to go.

Then get them aboard

and speed their departure.

Queen, if it wasn't for

these, I'd still be king.

It's over,

so let's not talk about it.

If you think of me, will you let me hear

from you? Oh, I'll keep my eye on you.

Thank you.

And when I get down to Earth,

I'm gonna tell 'em

down there how beautiful...

you and the girls are. Thank you.

May I take along a few

samples to show 'em? No!

I'm sorry about the girl.

It could've happened to you.

Ridiculous! I have no feeling

for you or any other man.

Get him outta here!

Get him out!

Too bad I couldn't trust him.

He was such a cute little fellow.

- You mean me, Queenie?

- Get out!

From now on, a curse on

any woman who kisses a man.

She'll lose

the secret of eternal youth!

Orville.! Orville.

Please take me with you.

Oh, I can't. Lester would be mad

at me. Well, then, kiss me good-bye.

Les? Les? What? Take it easy.

Hey, I just kissed a girl, and she turned

into an old woman. Oh, that's ridiculous.

- How could that happen?

- These Venusians are strange people.

Maybe the Queen

put a curse on the girls.

Hey, if I kissed a girl on Earth,

would that happen to me again?

It's highly improbable.

That's right. Anytime I ever kissed

a girl, nothin' ever happened.

That I can believe.

Get in that seat.

Now what's wrong?

Captain Olivia, Flying

Saucer Patrol X-R-2, speaking.

What's delaying your takeoff? Over. Uh.

I don't know.

It just won't take off. Over.

Check for excess weight. Over. Roger.

Hey, see if there's anything

in those lockers we don't need.

Everything in those lockers, I need.

I'll do it myself!

No wonder we couldn't take off.

Get 'em out.

Sorry, girls. Come on.

You gotta go.

I'm awfully sorry. I...

Any more?

No, sir.

Out, girls.

Hey, some first aid!

Out you go! Come on!

Acres and acres of'em,

and all goin' to waste.

All right,

stand by.

What's happening now? Oh, they've taken off

from Venus, and they're headed for Earth.

Is there anything

you can do to help them?

So far, they've done all right

without my help.

Hey, pal, I think you

burned out a bearing.

Janie, order plane reservations.

They're over New York now.

Liberty, duck!

Ha, you missed her!

Captain, send him my regards.

Love has hit me again.

She crowned me again.

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