Abbott and Costello in Hollywood Page #8

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- It's Greg Le Maise.|- Let me go.

- Let me go.|- I've got him, Joe.

- Telephone homicide downtown.|- Right.

Get that guy. He's the one|I'm supposed to have murdered.

Take it easy, take it easy.

But I tell you, he's my alibi.

Didn't hurt a bit.

Stop. Have you fellows|seen Greg Le Maise?

- Who?|- A tall guy in a blue suit.

Keep an eye out for him. He's a killer.

- Hey, you, come on.|- I can't...

Come on, put this on|or get out of here.

Come on, come with me.

Stand right here.

- Come on. Come on.|- What do you want?

- Just come.|- All right, take it easy, will you?

Now, come on, you guys.|Get on the set.

Oh, we'll be right out.

Oh, I get it. Pekingese twins. Well...

Ready, Mr. Kavanaugh.

Now, look, everybody...

...at this part of the story...

...the gamblers have planted|the dynamite in the midway.

At the end of the number,|the entire set will be blown up.

Now, we don't want|anybody getting hurt...

...so remember to stay|in the safety zones...

...marked out for you on the set.

Now, you can all see this indicator.

When the hand reaches four...

...that means the musical|number is ended.

You're in your safety zones...

...and the whole set will be blown up.

Is that clear? Now fix your makeups...

...get into your costumes,|and take your places.

We'll have to blow|the roller coaster too.

You're not using real people|in those cars?

Oh, no, sir. We're using|dummies in them.

Good enough.

Don't let anybody|near that plunger.

I don't want the set blowing up|before I get the number.

Just keep one eye on the dial,|one eye on me.

When the indicator reaches four,|you watch me.

I'll drop the handkerchief.

- You blow up the works.|- Okay, chief.

Stay there. Now, this is a take.

Do you have to look at us like that,|with your mouth open?

What do you think we are, freaks?

Must be the moustache.|I'm taking it off.

- Why don't you?|- I can't. I don't want to be seen.

- You don't want to be seen, you say?|- No.

Don't worry. If anybody recognizes you...

...l'll tell them it's me.

Take if off. Let's have it.

No. What's the idea? I told you,|I don't want to be seen.

You certainly picked out|a fine place to hide.

I'm looking for a guy.|A short, dumpy little guy.

- Short, dumpy little guy?|- Yeah.

You'll never find him here.

- A short, dumpy little guy?|- Yeah.

Hey, you, look over there.

There's a short, fat, ugly-looking guy|with Gregory Le Maise!

All right, roll them.

- Roll them.|- Speed.

- Action.|- Action!

Hurry, hurry, hurry.|Right this way.

It's Navy Day...

...on this great big, gigantic,|colossal midway.

As an added attraction...|And it's only good today.

- Every sailor and his cutie|comes in free...

...and saves his pay!|- Hooray!

To Marines|And to the Air Corps

Youll find scenes|That make the air more fun

Fun along the midway

Those who wear a sailor suit

Can join the fun and nail one cute

And have lots of fun on the midway

And those from the north or|From the south

Must never be down in the mouth

Just come

Dont let this humdrum world

Get you down

Its a treat|To be around

The fun

On the wonderful

Midway

Weve just begun with the fun|On the wonderful midway

Now were in and boast because

Were gonna win the most applause

Its fun|Fun along the midway

Step inside|She never fakes it

Theres a ride that really makes it fun|On the wonderful midway

If you come and play|A game of dodge em

Take your good aim and dislodge em|Come

Dont let this humdrum world|Get you down

Its a treat to be around

The fun on the wonderful midway

We never shun any fun|On the wonderful midway

Have you seen a dark little guy|around here?

Find in magic trinket.

Trinket? That's just plain water.

Well, trinket!

You dont have to find a reason|Any times a-shootin season

Fun along the midway

If youre feelin free and easy

And youd like to see a teasy dance

Dont take a chance|On the midway

You wont wear a parachute|The day you care to dare a Chute the Chute

Theres not a care there

Youll say its grand|So come, let your chest expand

Its fun on the wonderful midway

We never shun any fun|On the wonderful midway

If you havent found a cozy place|To ring around the rosy

Come, youll find it on the midway

- "Apprehensive, pull the trigger"|- "How expensive can a cigarette"

Ever get on the midway?

All you lads who fill the Navy|Dont you wait until Ole Davy Jones

Makes all your boneses Joness

- "Dont be a dunce"|- "We are only young but once"

Have fun on the wonderful midway

Youll say its grand|So come, let your chest expand

Have some fun on the wonderful midway

Midway

Fun along the midway

Fun on the wonderful midway

Fun on the wonderful midway

So you're supposed to be dead?

You will be, due to an accident|on a roller coaster.

Wait a minute, wait a minute!

Le Maise, will you go away?

Go away! Go away!

Mr. Kavanaugh.

Where are you going now, smart guy?

No!

Have some fun

Weve just begun

Mr. Kavanaugh...

On the wonderful midway

That's it! That's perfect.

"Variety" says that the premiere last night|was sensational.

That Jeff and Claire will be stars.

The Hollywood Reporter|said the same thing.

Wonderful review.

- Hello, Ruthie.|- Hello.

What are you doing?|Don't know how to sit in these chairs.

Excuse me, Ruthie. You do things to me.

A gentleman would like change|for $ 100, please.

Just 100? Tell him I'll bring it right in.

All right, all right.

Thank you.

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