Abbott and Costello in the Foreign Legion Page #6

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Because now I shall have the

pleasure ofkilling you myself.

And please

be assured...

I shall conceive an

extremely painful death...

for both of you.

Take them away.

Hotchkiss!

Jones!

Nicole!

So you finally got him!

You came

to get us out?

No.

I got myself in.

What's the meaning of this?

I thought these men were dead.

They will be shortly.

Take these swine away!

And see that nothing happens

to them until it's supposed to.

What are you

doing here?

Things are happening. I had

to get her out of Algiers.

Very thoughtful of you

to bring her to me.

She's French Intelligence.

She's already turned in Josef.

How much she knows about

us I don't know yet.

It will please me

to find out.

She'll liven what otherwise might

have been a very dull evening.

I'm afraid this evening you'll

be busy with other things.

A company of Legionnaires

is on the march to Fort Apar.

If you expect to hold the fort,

you better have your men there.

I made other arrangements.

Before we left, we mined the fort.

My men are waiting impatiently at a hidden

detonator for the reinforcements to arrive.

Hamud, you are a fool.

Axmann is using you.

There is no way

that you can win.

You just be pretty

and keep quiet.

And don't try to do anything about what

you've just heard. You're too beautiful to die.

Come with me. I'll see that you're

dressed in something more attractive.

This is a terrible

way to die.

Mister, can I tell you something? No.

You'll be sorry if you don't listen. No!

This may mean your life! No!

All I'm trying to tell you, is

that I am not tied to the post.

What is he talking about? How do I know?

I speak every language

but Greek.

But he's talking Arabic.

It's still Greek to me.

Shh! Shut up!

What was that? They're off at Santa Anita.

Ah, nonsense. Hot or cold,

we're left at the post.

A reception committee

for your American friends.

That one, the tallest,

is my cousin Abdullah...

for whom they've been looking.

What a time for them

to find him.

Oh, gee, they're nice people.

Just what did you tell them?

I said that Hamud's wrestlers

will now tear you apart...

with their bare hands.

You got something there!

You, you, you...

Oh, well, at least we've

all got to die sometime.

You've got nothing to worry about

though. You've lived a clean life.

Yeah, but I'd like to live a little

longer so I could dirty it up a little bit.

Abdullah.!

Boy, are we glad

to see you!

Yeah, listen, we'll forget

about the money you owe us...

if you tell Hamud not to have

his wrestlers tear us apart.

Swine! It'll be me

who'll tear you apart!

Don't worry. I won't

hurt you. But you said...

That was for the benefit

of my dirty crook cousin.

But we gotta make the act look good.

How about that Patterson routine?

Okay.

Okay.

Ow! Oh! Ow!

We gotta save Bud. I

wanna save both of you.

Hey, how about the Boston

routine, where you go nuts?

Yeah, okay. Give me the business. Okay.

Ouch!

I'm blinded.

I can't see.

- No, you stupid ox!

You've got the wrong one!

Don't, don't, don't!

Don't, you fool!

You listen to me, Bud.

Abdullah's on our side. He

was doing the Boston routine.

Well, let's get out of here. Come on!

You're hurtin' me. You guys gotta

help me get back to Brooklyn.

We gotta help you? Yeah. If I stay here,

I have to marry the sheik's daughter,

and is she a dog. Take a look.

What do you think? She's either a very

ugly girl or a very pretty monster.

Hey, we gotta help Bud.

Quick, give me the business! Okay.

Oh! He did it again!

I'm blinded. I can't see.

No, no, Abdullah!

Get off!

- You've got

the wrong one again!

Abdullah's helping us.

Abdullah's trying to kill us.

Yes, but he's still

helping us. Selfish.

Somebody stop them!

Stop! Stop!

Fine reception you arranged

for the Americans.

Come! This is our chance! Come on!

Come on!

Come on, Abdullah!

Ooh!

Ooh!

What did you do there?

All I did was...

Is that all you did,

was...

Yeah, a small one.

Hey, buddy,

you're awful weak.

You ought to be like me. Eat

some of these Arabian apples.

Apples?

Mm-hmm.

That's an onion!

Oh.

Stop, you fools!

Catch those Legionnaires!

This time they shan't escape me.

I'll kill them both

with my bare hands.

I told you not

to trust Abdullah.

I'll slit his throat!

Aha!

And now...

You fools!

Ooh!

Abdullah!

We must hurry. The whole

camp will be after us.

Axmann's jeep. Come on!

They got my jeep! Well,

why don't you go and get it?

Quick! Let's get out of here!

This is the sheik's harem!

And do not go in there!

That is his bath!

I'll keep

my eyes closed.

Wow!

Bud.!

Bud.!

What are you trying to do,

get us killed?

Hurry! We must warn the Legion

that the fort is mined!

Now where

do we go?

I don't care where you go,

but get going!

They're gaining on us! You're in reverse!

Hey, you're goin'the wrong way.!

Hold the wheel!

Hold the wheel!

Come back! Come back! Excuse me.

We made it!

We are lucky! The Legion

has not reached the fort yet!

I think we lost the Arabs.

We found 'em again.

Stop!

They're our own men!

That is the man

at the detonator!

They must think

we're Arabs.

This is our chance

to save the fort.

Go to those men.

Okay.

Oui, oui.!

Where did he go?

Come on! Will you get going? I will not!

Arabs, sir.

Look!

The Legion!

Lafayette, here we come! Yeah!

Lafayette, we are leavin'.

Hey, we're not Arabs!

Help!

Oh, I couldn't convince 'em. No wonder!

We are dressed as Arabs.

They do not know who we are.

But they do!

Head for the fort!

Come on!

Hurry up!

Hurry up! Shut the doors! Shut them up!

Let me out.! Let me out.! Hey, that's Lou!

Ooh! I'll hold this.

You go get the detonator.

Okay. No, no, no, wait a minute!

Abdullah, we need you bad.

Let Lou hold the fort.

Who, me? You told me that...

Listen! Wait a minute! You told me

I was gonna... Come on, Abdullah!

Bud!

Get the det...

Get the det-det...

Get that "dillionator. "

Bud!

Bud! Bud!

No, you fools! Get ladders!

We'll go over the top!

Sheik Abdullah.

No! What have I done?

I killed my pal. Lou!

What have I done?

Don't tell me.

Lou. He's gone.

Oh, no, don't bother me.

Do you realize what I've done?

I killed the best

little pal I ever had.

He was such a sweet little guy.

Look it, he's gone.

I'll never be able

to see him again.

If he was only here so I could

get on my knees and apologize.

Go away. You don't... I...

Lou. Lou, it's you!

Yeah.

You're not dead? You're not hurt? No. No.

You're all right?

Yeah.

Why you dirty

double-crosser! You!

Present arms!

"Citation for valor, for

bravery in the face of the enemy,

"for unmasking and aiding in the

capture of a renegade and traitor.

"For valiant service above

and beyond the call of duty,

you have earned

this citation. "

What's he talking about? He's

gonna give you a citation.

Citation? What do I want

with a horse? What horse?

Citation. That gives me

another mouth to feed.

Private Lou Hotchkiss,

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