Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie Page #7

Little Kate Moss, thank you.

Oh. I mean, darling...

this could be the first day

of the start of the whole days

of the rest of our lives,

couldn't it, really?

Thanks to Lubey.

Yeah, thanks to Lubey.

Are you growing

attached to Lubey, darling?

We are just waiting for her

to change her will and die.

Oh, Eddy.

I mean, has she changed her will yet?

All in good time, Eds, all in good time.

Oh, I say. Hello.

I'll just go and check that out.

Saffy, listen.

I'm not coming home,

so stop phoning me!

I've got the rest of my life to live

and I'm going to live it.

I'm done with all of you, so forget me.

Just forget me.

I'm walking down the road

Looking at trees

All the people going by

They say "How do you look

so good today, Eddy?"

I say

"I don't know. I don't know"

So...

have you been working here long?

You look pretty...

Oh, the mustache.

You're pretty gorgeous, too.

Eddy, Eddy! Eddy!

Eddy!

What, darling?

The pigs, the fuzz...

your face!

We've got to leave.

The pigs, the fuzz,

your face!

The pigs, the pigs!

Quick!

Come on, Eddy,

we've got to

get out of here.

Cover your face.

Just hide, hide.

Excusez-moi.

Hello.

Excusez-moi, madame?

I say!

Excusez-moi, madame?

Can I help you?

Quick, quick, quick,

darling! Get in!

Allez, allez!

I am allez-ing.

Go left, go left!

Keep going, Eddy!

Go left!

At the end, go left.

- Left.

- We've been left!

What's that pedal?

Press that pedal.

That pedal!

That pedal there!

Oh. Oh.

No, not that pedal.

Not that pedal.

Watch out!

- Oh, God!

- Merci.

That was quite nice.

We've lost them, Eddy.

Shall I keep going?

Yeah! We're not giving in!

Watch out!

Bloody bicyclettes!

We're not going back.

Brake, Eddy!

Oh, God! Whoa!

She could be anywhere.

Bubble, you're alive!

Welcome to my humble abode.

Lulu? What are you

doing here?

I want to see you pay.

Mum!

- Saff.

- Oh, sh*t.

Get out!

No, no.

Don't be ridiculous.

Nick's come to take you

back for the hearing.

Eddy?

No, we're not going back, darling.

Mum, get out of the water!

Eddy, we're sinking.

Do get out of the pool,

Mrs. Monsoon.

I would rather die

than go back to all those hating faces!

I mean, look at me, darling.

All I've ever wanted was not to be fat...

and old.

You know, darling.

To just keep

the party going.

Now here I am.

Just fat and old and hated...

and nothing.

I'm getting in.

Darling, I know you think

I don't know who I am...

...and what I've done.

But I do, darling, I do.

I'm disgusting.

Always wanting everything,

always taking more.

Wearing stupid...

ridiculous small, small, small,

stylish, stupid, ridiculous clothing!

You think it's hard living with me,

try being at this end, darling.

And it is all about me, isn't it?

It has been all about me.

And me, Eds.

Darling...

I've never given you

the love that you deserve.

Before I go...

I want you to know that I love you.

I love you, Mum.

And Lola, sweetheart.

And Pats.

It's all right.

You can let me go, darling.

Let me go.

I'm going to join Kate

in the watery grave.

Let me go.

Kate's not dead.

What?

What?

What?

She lives!

Kate!

Jean Paul.

Where's the party?

The party is wherever you are, Kate!

I lost everyone.

Sometimes it's good

to have lost some people.

You stay with me.

We make another

little party.

You stupid, bloody, bollocking idiot!

Why didn't you say that before?

I just humiliated myself!

Hi, Kate, darling.

No, I'm working from Nobu this week.

The world is at your feet

and I can make them stay there.

Game-changing reinvention...

You are the new face

of Louis Vuitton menswear.

I know!

No, I've done a big dump.

I only represent you now.

Got rid of Emma Bunton and Lulu.

I'm gonna be a big cheese

in the Big Apple.

I am a big cheese!

Thank you, darling!

We are living the dream, darling.

We are, darling.

Here I am, Edina Monsoon, on my way to...

my book launch.

Yeah.

Oh, darling, I lost

my pelvic floor on takeoff.

Don't worry. We'll

pick it up on the way back.

Fashion icon Kate Moss has

been found safe and well...

five days after falling

from a balcony into the river.

It's been reported she is resting

at the home ofher

new P.R., Eddy Mon...

Why is Kate Moss still here?

Mum's doing her P. R. now.

Apparently, she's never been so in demand

since she went missing.

So, darling, the plan is

we throw a huge party in Hyde Park.

Like a "Welcome Back, Kate" party.

And darling, we should get Bollinger

to give us a whole vintage.

A whole vintage, darling.

Eddy, you'll want to wear couture.

Yeah, yeah. No Stella.

Am I still sending

all the bills

to Baroness Lublubliana...

Rothschild Von Thy...

Mum, no!

You can't do that.

No, Eddy, no, no, no.

Think of our life, our dream!

Don't let this repellent little shrew

take it away from us.

Every time our life hits a good patch,

this miserable piece of flesh ruins it.

If you don't tell her, I will!

Oh, you little b*tch troll from hell.

No!

Lubey, I have something to tell you.

I'm not a man.

I know.

And I'm not a woman.

Well, you don't mind

sleeping with him/her?

Does it mean

you don't need the strap-on?

I don't know.

Wheel's on fire

Rolling down the road

Best notify my next ofkin

This wheel shall explode!

If your memory serves you well

I was going to confiscate my lace

And wrap it up in a sailor's knot

And hide it in your case

If I knew for sure that it was yours

But it was oh, so hard to tell

But you knew that we would meet again

lfyour memory served you well

Wheel's on fire

Rolling down the road

Best notify my next ofkin

This wheel shall explode!

If your memory serves you well

You'll remember you're the one

That called on me to call on them

To get you your favors done

And after every plan had failed

And there was nothing more to tell

You knew that we would meet again

lfyour memory served you well

Wheel's on fire

Rolling down the road

Best notify my next ofkin

This wheel shall explode!

You talk like Marlene Dietrich

And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire

Your clothes are all made by Balmain

And there's diamonds

and pearls in your hair

Yes, there are

You live in a fancy apartment

Off

the Boulevard Saint-Michel

Where you keep your Rolling Stones records

And your friend of Sacha Distel

Yes, you do

Oh, but where do you go to, my lovely

When you're alone in your bed?

Tell me the thoughts that surround you

I want to look inside your head

Yes, I do

I've seen all your qualifications

You got from the Sorbonne

And the painting you stole from Picasso

Your loveliness goes on and on

Yes, it does

Oh, when you go on your summer vacation

You go to Juan-les-Pins

With your carefully designed

topless swimsuit

You get an even suntan

On your back and on your legs

And when the snow falls

you're found in St. Moritz

With the others of thejet-set

And you sip your Napoleon brandy

But you never get your lips wet

No, you don't

But where do you go to my lovely

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes