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Addams Family Values Page #3
- PG-13
- Year:
- 1993
- 94 min
- 3,235 Views
something
I must tell you.
I'm a virgin.
You are?
Yes.
What's that?
It--it's someone
who's never experienced
physical love.
Oh.
You mean,
with another person.
Then, Debbie,
I have a confession
to make, as well.
I'm one, too.
You? You?
Yes.
But with your looks,
your charm,
women must
follow you everywhere.
Store detectives.
Oh, fester,
I always dreamed
of meeting
someone untouched,
someone pure,
someone...
Just like you.
You'll meet him.
And--and I dreamed
that when I met him,
that we would wait
until our wedding night
to give ourselves
to one another,
to make
the ultimate sacrifice.
A goat?
Until now I thought
it was impossible,
but, fester Addams,
I love you.
You do?
Please, I have to know
how you feel about me.
I love you.
I worship you.
I'd do anything for you.
I'd pay.
Fester!
Debbie!
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Look at him.
So peaceful.
[Snoring]
This evening
as I watched fester and Debbie,
I kept
my fingers crossed.
I hoped...
I prayed.
Let them
fall in love.
Let them know happiness.
Let them adopt.
Gomez, morticia,
great news--
something impossible,
a miracle.
- The rash...
- It's gone.
I'm engaged.
That ring...
It was our mother's.
She was buried with it.
[Thunder]
Mail call.
Addams.
Barkley,
castleman, Calloway,
Dexter, donman,
Edwards, Evans,
Finley, fisher,
framingham...
Oh, no.
What is it?
This is unspeakable.
Is something wrong?
Bad news?
in the history of human events.
Uncle fester
is getting married.
A wedding?
But that's
great news.
To whom?
The nanny.
Get out of the cabin.
I'd kill myself.
The help?
I'm sure
she's a very nice lady.
I think
that's disgusting.
Their whole family's
like some weird
medical experiment.
I think they're
like circus people.
What did you say?
Tempers.
Group hug.
Wednesday.
Pugsley.
Will a hug hurt us?
We don't hug.
Oh, they're
just shy.
We're not shy.
We're contagious.
I'm sensing
some friction here,
something
not quite chippewa.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, no problem-o.
All they need are
good friends, good fun,
and a little time
in the harmony hut.
How long do we have
to stay in here?
Until we crack.
[Door opens]
Have fun.
What are you in for?
I wouldn't go
horseback riding.
That's all?
And I wouldn't
make a bird house.
Why not?
I just wanted to read.
Not on my time,
four-eyes.
[Laughing]
Aah!
Aah aah aah!
Hurry up.
I'm coming.
Wait.
Be careful.
Tetanus.
[Siren]
There they are!
I saw them
sneak out.
What do you think
you're doing?
We have to see
our family.
It's important.
More important
than summer fun?
More important
than making new friends?
More important
than sharing?
Joel glicker,
I'm surprised at you.
I have to
get out of here.
I have allergies.
Oh, you're allergic?
To sunshine,
archery, and crafts?
Yes.
I think
they should be punished.
Punished! Punished!
Punished! Punished!
Punished! Punished!
No! We are not here
to punish.
We are here to inspire.
Know what our little
ninja friends need?
Know what might turn
their sad, wasted lives around?
What?
[Guitar strums]
~ Kumbaya, my lord ~
~ Kumbaya ~
~ Kumbaya, my lord ~
~ Kumbaya ~
[wolf howls]
~ Kumbaya, my lord ~
~ Kumbaya ~
~ oh, lord, Kumbaya ~~.
Now, Debbie,
have you met everyone?
Morticia.
Margaret.
[Kiss kiss]
Margaret, this is
our bride-to-be.
Welcome
to our family.
I can't tell you
what it's meant
joining
the Addams clan.
Have you met my husband
cousin ltt?
Cousin ltt?
We've been so happy,
and, just as little
pubert arrived,
we were blessed with
[Cooing]
What?
Oh, I didn't say anything.
That's the baby's
nickname-- what?
From
the obstetrician.
Isn't he precious?
We've had offers.
~ for he's
~ which nobody
can deny ~~.
You guys are the best
bunch of friends
What a party!
And now for
the piece de resistance.
Ta-da!
Ta-da!
That poor girl.
Lurch, was she in there
before you baked?
[Groan]
So, so, so.
C'est la vie.
[Laughter]
Ha ha ha ha!
Are you really allergic?
Uh-huh.
To almost
everything.
No, you're not.
Am, too.
I can't have
dairy products
or wear wool
or drink
fluoridated water.
You know
what happens
if my mom uses
a fabric softener?
What?
I die.
Where are you?
Over here.
Where?
By the skeleton.
I got your message
inside my cutlet.
I need to ask you
something.
What?
Do you believe
in the existence of evil?
Well, did you meet
my mom?
My Uncle fester's
about to get married
to this woman
in a white uniform.
A radiologist.
A nanny.
I have to go
to the wedding.
I have a pass.
Want to come?
You mean like...
On a date?
No.
I'd love to.
[Plays "sunrise, sunset']
[Plays "wedding march']
[Speaking gibberish]
I,
fester Addams,
do hereby declare
my unending love.
I will worship you forever.
I will devote...
to your happiness alone.
[Sobbing]
Oh.
Henceforth,
I am your eternal
and helpless slave.
Nice.
Ditto.
[Cheering]
You're going to have a
wonderful life together.
Yes, I am.
Come, darling,
let's see who's
the next happy bride.
Here, Debbie!
- To me!
- Me!
Oh, I have it!
- No! I have it!
- It's mine!
Now you have
to get married.
It's not binding.
Tramp.
- Bye!
- Congratulations!
- Congratulations!
- Bon voyage!
The key ingredient
to a successful
Hawaiian honeymoon
is romantic music.
[Romantic music plays]
I ordered this cassette
from time-life.
5,000 of the world's
most romantic melodies.
It's superb.
What do you
call this?
Number 438.
So...
Do you like
romantic living?
I do, so far.
I love romantic living.
Oh, fester, how much
do you love me?
With all my soul.
Would you do
anything for me?
Anything.
Would you die for me?
Yes.
Promise?
Aah!
Aah aah!
Aah aah aah aah!
Pumpkin?
Muffin.
[Tvplays]
Darling, I know
you're nervous.
So am I.
I'm not nervous.
I'm upset.
Because of the bathtub?
Th-th--
that was an accident.
I know.
I'm fine.
I know.
Don't give it
another thought.
Don't be frightened.
This is as new to me
as it is to you.
Have you really
never had sex?
Never.
Then how do you know we're
We'll be just like
Gomez and morticia.
Pretend we're
at home in my room--
granny down the hallway,
lurch by the door.
Oh, my God.
Please, what is it?
What do you need?
Only you, my dearest.
Really?
Fester, I'm ready.
- Just one thing...
- Gomez told me. No giggling.
- And?
- No hand puppets.
- And...
- What?
After we've made love,
you can never see
your family again.
What?
Otherwise, I could never
really enjoy myself.
I could never
give myself completely.
Unless I never see
my family again?
Yes. If I picture them
in our lives,
You know.
Never?
Don't you love me?
Of course.
Don't you want me?
Yes.
Never.
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"Addams Family Values" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/addams_family_values_2222>.
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