Admission Page #9

Jesse Bolton is going to Yale.

Definitely. He was just in here.

Even though he's a legacy,

he is definitely going to Yale.

- Huh.

- So, look, if you accepted him, maybe that

place can go to another of our students.

Instead of Jesse just rejecting Princeton.

Thank you for your call,

but all decisions are absolutely final.

No changes can be made.

Uh, yes, but I...

I'm sorry you feel that way.

No, there isn't an appeals process.

How wonderful

Elissa got so many acceptances.

Harvard and Yale, too?

Listen, I'd love to talk to you about

the financial aid package we could offer.

No, seriously. I'm so happy, too.

No, you rock. No.

Yes, I know he is a legacy.

And I certainly understand

why you would never want to give

another penny to this university ever again.

Wow. That is a new one.

Portia Nathan.

Hey, I have somebody here

who wants to talk to you.

I got in.

Yes, I know.

This is the best day of my life.

Best day of your life, huh? Well, that's good.

Good. That's... I'm very happy.

Look, we're having

a school dance here tonight.

I think you should come and celebrate.

Oh, there you are. Clarence wants to see you.

Yes, thank you. I've been expecting that.

I have to go. I'll call you later.

Have a seat, please.

So, I had a call.

Oh, yes?

From Richard Bolton, class of '81.

Father of Jesse Bolton.

Do you recall Jesse Bolton,

budding journalist,

writes for The Boston Globe?

- Is this coming back?

- Mmm-hmm.

I remember Jesse Bolton.

We loved Jesse Bolton.

We accepted Jesse Bolton.

And yet...

Mmm.

So I asked for the admit list.

Looked for Bolton, Jesse. No Bolton, Jesse.

But I did find Balakian, Jeremiah.

We sent Mr. Balakian

an offer of admission, which he accepted.

The only thing is, I don't remember

making him an offer of admission.

But I do remember your plea that we do so.

You have exposed

this office and the university

to a completely undeserved scandal.

If word of this were ever to get out,

the damage would be irreparable.

Well, I won't tell anyone.

That's right. You won't.

What you will do is submit your resignation

and take this week to clear up your affairs,

and then I don't ever want to

see you in this building again.

He's going to Yale.

Jesse Bolton.

The guidance counselor called me.

We never had a shot at him.

Yale?

Well, that's not the point.

I assume you'll be standing by the offer.

I don't see how we can rescind it without

the whole thing blowing up in our faces.

The whole system would be questioned.

We wouldn't want that to happen.

Yeah?

Oh, hi. Glad you're here.

I was just coming down to the dance.

- Um, you okay?

- Yeah. Why?

You just... You seem kind of intense.

I'm okay. Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm great!

I'm supposed to be chaperoning this dance.

You're doing a great job.

You can do this.

You having fun?

This is the best day of my life.

You have no idea

how happy that makes me feel.

I want so much for you to be happy,

and for you to have

all the things that you want in life.

Thanks!

You know how when you're swinging

on a rope swing across a stream

and you're afraid to jump in,

and then you just do?

No. I'm kind of afraid of heights.

Me, too.

You and I have so much in common,

and it's not as odd as it seems.

Jeremiah, there's something I want to tell you,

and it's going to come as quite a shock.

I am your mother.

What?

Your birth mother.

I've been trying to

figure out the best time to tell you.

And I know. I was speechless, too.

No, it's not that. Uh.

It's just, you're not my birth mother.

Yes. I am.

And I know this is very sudden and...

No.

My birth mother is named Jeanie Shredder.

And she's a hairdresser from Keene.

And I met her

and my half-sisters a couple of months ago.

I put my name in at the adoption agency,

and they contacted me.

No, no, Jeremiah.

You were born on Valentine's Day

at 1:
00 p.m. at Blaine General to me.

No, I was born at 11:00 p.m.

They said my mom tried like hell

to hold off till the last hour

so I wouldn't have

some lame Valentine's Day birthday.

It's a copy. See?

That's an 11 with one of the ones missing.

It's faded. You see?

I never told anybody,

because I didn't want my parents to find out.

I was worried that it would hurt their feelings.

And I don't want to hurt them

'cause they're my parents.

Of course.

Uh.

This whole time,

you thought you were my mother?

Why didn't you tell me?

I didn't want anything to get in

the way of you getting into Princeton.

I'd have to recuse myself and...

So everything you did was

because you thought I was your son?

No. I completely believe in you!

I actually do.

But you were lying to me the whole time.

I don't understand.

I can't tell what's real.

I don't get it.

How'd it go?

- 11:
00 p.m., not 1:00 p.m.

- What?

Stay out of my life! Or what's left of it!

Hey!

Hold on!

Jeanie Shredder. A hairdresser!

His mother is a hairdresser!

What? No. No, I read the birth certificate.

A copy! A faded copy.

- Look.

- What?

Eleven! That is supposed to be an 11!

None of this was true.

This is all a stupid dream.

This is all in your head!

And I just jumped in like a complete idiot.

I can fix this, we'll contact adoption services.

No! Do not fix anything!

I don't want to ever see you again.

Go be a citizen of the planet.

I am so glad that you are going to Ecuador!

- Except for one thing.

- What?

I feel sorry for the Ecuadorians!

Hi, come on in,

you can help me grind sausage.

I've got something to say, Susannah.

Having sex on a train

with a stranger to get pregnant,

really not so great.

You didn't even ask his name.

So I will never know who my father is.

Maybe he's in Paris. Maybe he's in Hoboken.

Maybe he's President. Obviously not that.

But I'll never know.

Because you forgot one important thing

on your way to self-empowerment.

Me.

Why didn't you ask his name?

Why don't you just shut up?

No, you shut up.

I got pregnant and I had a kid back in college

and I gave him up for adoption.

I wasn't in the Netherlands,

I was living above an auto repair shop.

Hiding from you.

'Cause I can't stand you.

And that's it. That's all I have to say.

Except, get some goddamn dog food!

Wait, Portia! Portia!

Portia, don't leave. Don't leave.

Portia, wait, wait.

I didn't ask the name

of the man on the train because,

actually, I didn't have a grand plan,

I made all that up.

It was all an accident.

A happy accident.

Because it led to you. Baby, it led to you.

I wished so many times

that I could have told you his name.

It's one of the disappointments of my life.

And I'm so sorry.

Please, come back in.

Mom, I have to go.

Dad?

Ah, my car!

Really?

Ow.

What happened? Are you okay?

It's a slight fracture. Fender bender.

It was dumb.

I'm sorry. I mean about everything.

I was stupid and selfish.

A selfish a**hole.

And I just wanted to come here

and tell you that I'm sorry.

Wait, um, how's Nelson?

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