Admission Page #8

I'm gonna have for three weeks.

Your meetings last three weeks?

- I have to go.

- Right.

Bye.

I have spoken to the Judo Association,

and they have no record

of his national championship.

Thank you. Goodbye.

I just want to say thank you.

I've tried to put on a brave front about...

I can't even say his name.

- Mark.

- Yes, him.

And honestly,

you're the only person who's really been

so sensitive to what I'm going through,

and I appreciate it so much.

Men can be such pigs.

People are all pigs.

Uh, okay, yes. I'm with you on that.

Oh, no.

- Oh!

- Maybe we can declare a truce,

because we women have to stick together

in this man-eat-woman, dog-eat-b*tch world.

Sisterhood.

You are so right.

- Good.

- Yeah.

Friends, today, we begin the process of

choosing the most remarkable

freshman class in Princeton history.

Here is

the order of territories chosen randomly.

We begin with the West.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Corinne, are you ready?

Yes.

Yulia Karasov.

Class rank two of 450,

magnet school in a suburb of San Diego.

Her family emigrated from Russia

10 years ago.

She's captain of the cross-country team,

sports editor of the school paper.

Math, 760. Critical Reading, 710. Writing, 740.

But the recs aren't special.

They admire her, but they don't love her.

Show of hands for acceptance.

Holy sh*t. That's the kid that doesn't get in?

Sylvia Hadlock. Applying from Los Angeles,

but she's originally

from our beautiful state of New Jersey.

Wallace Thompson.

2100 combined SAT,

class treasurer, volunteers for...

Alice Copley.

Her dream is to be a prosecutor,

then serve on the Supreme Court.

Alice's mother was murdered.

The murderer got off on a technicality.

Alice would like to retry him

and put him away for life,

though she would prefer the death penalty.

Excellent extracurriculars.

2220 combined SAT. 4.2 GPA.

I'm a little concerned about

a revenge fantasy fuelling her academics.

Uh, Portia, you were second reader.

I see you put "Maybe."

I might have underestimated her passion

upon first reading, as we all sometimes do.

I think this girl's

self-knowledge is impressive.

She's an excellent candidate.

Vote.

Oh.

Very good.

Dashiel Weld Broward,

fourth-generation legacy.

4.0.

Captain of his sailing club.

He led them to victory three years in a row.

SATs?

Uh, 660, 710, 600.

He's just one of those kids

that doesn't test well.

But, oh, can he read the wind.

So what you're saying is that an unusual

candidate's strengths in some areas

really do outweigh major,

and I mean major, weakness elsewhere.

Yes.

Let's vote then. For acceptance?

Aput Kunayak from Nome, Alaska.

Managed to take five AP classes

while working on his father's reindeer farm

and starting and

running a shelter for homeless sled dogs.

Had suffered from ADD, but overcame it

to become a leader in his high school.

He'd be the first in his family

to attend college.

Now, Ben, as you know, we have room

for very few of these iffy students.

But then again, we have to

make room for the exceptional, right?

Let's vote.

Aput Kunayak.

Are you gonna give me the file?

At last, we come to the end, the Northeast.

Portia, please begin.

Thank you.

Richard Guinness, Rye Country Day School,

state champion

in the 138-pound wrestling class,

played Rolfe in

the school production of The Sound of Music.

Chess club, makes an excellent souffl.

Member of the team, but not a leader.

Backbone of the woodwinds section

was the highest praise he got.

He is the kind of student

you could always call upon to help with

Martin Luther King Day activities.

Who isn't?

That's 28 denies in a row.

Come on, Portia, make us fall in love.

Okay, let's see.

Ah.

Jeremiah Balakian.

Jeremiah is our first applicant from Quest,

a new school in New Hampshire.

Developmental, but academically rigorous.

Jeremiah is an only child.

Parents both work at a Stop-N-Go.

Neither of them attended college.

The first three years

of his high school life were a disaster.

If you're wondering

why you are even listening to this,

Jeremiah is also a self-described

autodidact since the age of eight.

He is very well-read.

In fact, he is

the most well-read person I have met.

Ever.

And why? For his resume?

To impress someone?

For the sake of learning,

his passion for knowledge.

He had no plans to attend college

until this past fall when he switched to Quest

and came into contact

with teachers who recognized his potential.

Last spring,

he took the SATs and eight AP tests.

Wait, so he took AP classes?

No AP classes, no SAT prep courses.

But he got 5's on all eight APs,

and 790, 780 and 790 on the SATs.

That's amazing.

I'm sorry, what did you say?

That's amazing.

Amazing! It's amazing. Exactly.

Do you think he can handle

an intense academic community?

Thank you. That's a great question.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

The director of his new school says he is

"idiosyncratic, cerebral,"

"a true original whose abilities would lift"

"the level of discourse

in any class he enrolled in."

You seem passionate about him.

I am.

So what was his GPA, I mean, before Quest?

D+, 1.5.

He was a lost kid, and then he was found.

So, Corinne, you were second reader,

I see you wrote "Deny."

Any second thoughts?

Well, he is like no other applicant

we have ever considered.

His alumni interview was not so great.

That guy sounded like a jerk.

And he has a positive recommendation from

no less of a scholar than Vladimir Polokov.

Okay, maybe from our perspective,

he could have done more,

made himself more of a resume

and a paper trail,

but he took himself from nowhere

to where he is today.

He educated himself,

purely by instinct,

not because he wants

to put away his mother's killer.

He was as isolated

as someone in Nome, Alaska.

He was alone.

He was completely alone.

You know, and maybe

if his parents had been rich,

he would have been exposed to more.

We have to make room for these kids.

We have to make room for kids like these.

Clarence, you told us

at the beginning of the year

to find that undiscovered gem.

I found him.

Well, let's vote.

All in favor of admission?

He also received an honorable mention

at the state finals of ventriloquism.

We are in the middle of a vote.

Brandt?

I'm sorry, Portia. I just think

he's got a little too much to overcome.

I mean, the kid was in Special Ed.

I know sometimes we

subconsciously identify

with applicants who remind us of ourselves,

but, honey, no.

Okay, then. Deny.

Wait! Polokov called him inspirational!

Portia, please, sit down.

It's too risky.

He's just not Princeton material.

I'm actually surprised

that you thought he was.

Tanisha Jones, Brearley School, Manhattan.

GPA 4.3, speaks semi-fluent Mandarin.

Two, three, four.

Portia Nathan.

Hey. This is Bob Barrow from Hotchkiss.

I wanted to talk to you

about one of our applicants.

All decisions have been made.

Yes, but I wanted you to know that.

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