Adult Beginners Page #5

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- Yeah.

- We were like...

- Yeah.

- Mind blown, man.

That was a fun night.

Yeah, we all knew you were

going on to amazing things

at that point.

So what are you up to now, man?

Come on, gimme the rundown.

Make me jealous.

Um...

I'm actually doing,

like, early childhood education

stuff now.

Whoa.

That sounds big.

I was doing, like, a bunch

of tech stuff, and I was like,

"Know what?

Eh.

How 'bout I give back,

you know?"

- Awesome.

- Yeah, it's going well.

- Kids.

- Yeah, they're the future.

We'll see, but...

Mm-hmm.

No, they are.

- They will be.

- We'll see.

No, it's undoubted

that children are the future.

- Crazy, man.

- Yeah, so...

My sister's pregnant, so I'm,

like, staying at her place,

and just kind of helping her out

a little bit,

getting my ducks in a row.

Yeah.

She came in here

a couple weeks ago to buy a bra.

It was the best.

All right, cool, man,

this is weird.

I'm still thinking about it.

I bet.

Okay.

Yeah, hey, well,

now that you're back, man,

you should give me a call.

We do, like,

a rotating brunch thing

every Sunday

with, like, the whole crew.

Like, Buskirk, Golub, Mclntire...

Yeah, those guys weren't

in my crew, so...

Me neither, but, like,

now we roll pretty deep.

Yeah, here,

let me take your phone.

- Oh.

- I'm gonna call yo' phone

from my phone, and then

our phones will do it up.

Is it ringing?

Why isn't it ringing?

Hello?

You're 'em both up to...

Yeah, well, I'm trying

to see which one...

Yeah.

There we go.

Nice, the Star Wars theme.

It's The Shining.

With Jack Nicklaus?

- Yeah, the golfer.

- Yeah.

All right, man, well,

it was good to see you.

Dude, contact made.

Jake Winton's back.

Come on, man, bring it in.

- Mm.

- Good seeing you, man.

- You too, man.

- That's a nice coat.

- Thanks.

- Looks like my mom's coat.

It's a...

t's a guy's coat.

Did you steal my mom's coat?

Did you steal my mom's coat?

No, man.

Move our aquababies

through the water.

We want them to love

their water experience

so please keep talking

to them or...

One parent, one aquababy.

She's the...

She's the parent.

You go in.

Hey.

- He's going in.

- I'm not going underwater.

I'm not going underwater.

I don't know how to swim.

No one is swimming today.

We're just standing

and walking, and singing songs.

You said that already.

That might help you, okay?

Come on, everybody.

Okay, just...

Please stop wiggling.

Stop wiggling and just

hold still for me, please.

Teddy, just stay still.

Ugh.

- Justine!

- Okay, okay.

- Please.

- Okay.

Okay.

- Stop wiggling.

- Hold on.

- Hold on.

- Yeah.

Here comes your mama.

One parent, one aquababy.

Yeah, we got it, okay?

Our parents didn't teach us

how to swim, so... hi.

Aw.

Everyone, let's say hello!

Okay, this is a new aquababy.

Miss Jenn's Adult Beginners?

Get your feet wet.

Then you can swim with Teddy

next semester.

No, we are very excited

about this class.

It's actually very therapeutic

for my brother's depression.

- What?

- Oh.

If you want Teddy to have

confidence in the water,

you need to have it too.

I'm not depressed.

We're very confident.

Thank you.

We'll see you next week.

F*** her!

I'm not an adult beginner.

Okay, you got five more minutes

on this section.

Another glass?

Can I just have,

like, that much?

Fine, I'll just have

another glass, thanks.

And you?

Uh, yeah, I'll have

a glass of that too.

Thanks.

I was kidding.

This is the first time

anyone's ever served me alcohol

in a restaurant ever.

Wow.

Are you gonna send it back?

When I was your age,

I basically took my SATs drunk.

- What did you get?

- I got a 1600.

And then I went to Columbia

and was drunk there.

So is this what you studied?

College prep?

No, that wasn't my major.

Poly-sci, and then I went

to NYU for law school.

- You're a lawyer?

- No, no, I...

My mom got sick

in the last semester, so I came

up here for a few weeks

and then I just never left.

Yeah, sh*t.

I'm sorry.

You can have one sip,

and then finish that section.

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hi.

Hey, Teddy.

Welcome to the playdate.

Teddy, blow that horn.

Oh, oh, wait.

Are you a shoes-off house?

I don't know.

Hmm.

Okay, where are the toys?

They're in the living room.

Teddy, you can grab my neck,

but you can't grab my neck skin.

I can grab your neck skin!

Okay, lesson learned.

Hi, Georgia.

Say hi, Georgia.

Aw, she's shy today.

That's okay.

Hey, Georgia,

did you bring...

"Hey, I'm so hungry!"

Today on ze menu at Chez Teddy,

we have a delicious assortment

of Cheddar Bunnies,

Bunny Fruits, Buddy Fruits,

carrots,

apples shaped like dogs...

And milk in mommy and daddy

glasses

because this is

a special playdate.

Mmm.

I feel like they take stuff out

just so that we

have to put it away.

They do have so many things.

I know, like this fire truck,

I keep trying to hide

from Teddy.

He keeps finding it.

And this?

I tried to throw out,

but Georgia caught me.

Oh, this thing is just gonna

keep playing.

We just have to wait it out.

No, Georgia!

Don't touch that.

That's not yours.

Wait, I actually read

this thing that

if the kids take things

and put them

between their thumb

and two fingers,

it's actually practice

for eventual writing skills.

We should get a snack.

Okay.

Wait.

What?

What about the Supermanny?

- Armin?

- Yeah.

That's just for when I'm bored.

Wait, what about the kids?

Will they be okay?

They're fine.

That's the "Elbow Song."

We have about ten more minutes.

Okay.

Justine?

Could I just...

I'm going for my five-month

check-up.

I cleared it with Jane.

No, no.

You have to clear everything

with me now.

Jean's son just got checked

into rehab

for Internet gambling last week.

Yeah, she's totally

out to lunch.

I left you a memo about this

three days ago.

But, it's not what I want

to talk to you about.

Listen, I had a conference

with Marley Benson's mom,

and she said that she saw you

and Sarah Lipson

at Theresa's Bakery,

and that you were both drinking.

"Drinking" drinking?

Drinking alcohol.

- Is she crazy?

- Well...

She's a minor and I'm pregnant.

I... I realize some of the moms

like to manufacture the drama.

Some of the moms are insane.

Justine, her voice was very

level with concern.

Penis.

You have no idea

what you're looking at.

Penis, that's a boy.

Can you just tell me what it is?

Really?

I mean, just tell me.

It's a girl.

I'm gonna be a girl's uncle.

That's insane.

Don't tell Danny.

He really didn't want to find out.

I'm such an a**hole.

You're not an a**hole.

I mean, you're an a**hole,

but not because of that.

Can you put on a little show

for him?

Mm-hmm.

I mean, is it possible that

the girl could have a penis?

It's happened before.

I would love her just the same.

What?

Where, where?

What?

Bubble-butt.

Muffin top.

Do it up.

Muffin back.

- Okay, okay, okay.

- Muffin front.

Dru-Dru-Drury Lane.

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