Adult Beginners Page #5
- Yeah.
- We were like...
- Yeah.
- Mind blown, man.
That was a fun night.
Yeah, we all knew you were
going on to amazing things
at that point.
So what are you up to now, man?
Come on, gimme the rundown.
Make me jealous.
Um...
I'm actually doing,
like, early childhood education
stuff now.
Whoa.
That sounds big.
I was doing, like, a bunch
of tech stuff, and I was like,
"Know what?
Eh.
How 'bout I give back,
you know?"
- Awesome.
- Yeah, it's going well.
- Kids.
- Yeah, they're the future.
We'll see, but...
Mm-hmm.
No, they are.
- They will be.
- We'll see.
No, it's undoubted
that children are the future.
- Crazy, man.
- Yeah, so...
My sister's pregnant, so I'm,
like, staying at her place,
and just kind of helping her out
a little bit,
getting my ducks in a row.
Yeah.
She came in here
a couple weeks ago to buy a bra.
It was the best.
All right, cool, man,
this is weird.
I'm still thinking about it.
I bet.
Okay.
Yeah, hey, well,
now that you're back, man,
you should give me a call.
We do, like,
a rotating brunch thing
every Sunday
with, like, the whole crew.
Like, Buskirk, Golub, Mclntire...
Yeah, those guys weren't
in my crew, so...
Me neither, but, like,
now we roll pretty deep.
Yeah, here,
let me take your phone.
- Oh.
- I'm gonna call yo' phone
from my phone, and then
our phones will do it up.
Is it ringing?
Why isn't it ringing?
Hello?
You're 'em both up to...
Yeah, well, I'm trying
to see which one...
Yeah.
There we go.
Nice, the Star Wars theme.
It's The Shining.
With Jack Nicklaus?
- Yeah, the golfer.
- Yeah.
All right, man, well,
it was good to see you.
Dude, contact made.
Jake Winton's back.
Come on, man, bring it in.
- Mm.
- Good seeing you, man.
- You too, man.
- That's a nice coat.
- Thanks.
- Looks like my mom's coat.
It's a...
t's a guy's coat.
Did you steal my mom's coat?
Did you steal my mom's coat?
No, man.
Move our aquababies
through the water.
We want them to love
their water experience
so please keep talking
to them or...
One parent, one aquababy.
She's the...
She's the parent.
You go in.
Hey.
- He's going in.
- I'm not going underwater.
I'm not going underwater.
I don't know how to swim.
No one is swimming today.
We're just standing
and walking, and singing songs.
You said that already.
That might help you, okay?
Come on, everybody.
Okay, just...
Please stop wiggling.
Stop wiggling and just
hold still for me, please.
Teddy, just stay still.
Ugh.
- Justine!
- Okay, okay.
- Please.
- Okay.
Okay.
- Stop wiggling.
- Hold on.
- Hold on.
- Yeah.
Here comes your mama.
One parent, one aquababy.
Yeah, we got it, okay?
how to swim, so... hi.
Aw.
Everyone, let's say hello!
Okay, this is a new aquababy.
Miss Jenn's Adult Beginners?
Get your feet wet.
Then you can swim with Teddy
next semester.
No, we are very excited
about this class.
It's actually very therapeutic
for my brother's depression.
- What?
- Oh.
If you want Teddy to have
confidence in the water,
you need to have it too.
I'm not depressed.
We're very confident.
Thank you.
We'll see you next week.
F*** her!
I'm not an adult beginner.
Okay, you got five more minutes
on this section.
Another glass?
Can I just have,
like, that much?
Fine, I'll just have
another glass, thanks.
And you?
Uh, yeah, I'll have
a glass of that too.
Thanks.
I was kidding.
This is the first time
anyone's ever served me alcohol
in a restaurant ever.
Wow.
Are you gonna send it back?
When I was your age,
I basically took my SATs drunk.
- What did you get?
- I got a 1600.
And then I went to Columbia
and was drunk there.
So is this what you studied?
College prep?
No, that wasn't my major.
Poly-sci, and then I went
to NYU for law school.
- You're a lawyer?
- No, no, I...
My mom got sick
in the last semester, so I came
up here for a few weeks
and then I just never left.
Yeah, sh*t.
I'm sorry.
You can have one sip,
and then finish that section.
Hello?
Hello? Hello?
Hi.
Hey, Teddy.
Welcome to the playdate.
Teddy, blow that horn.
Oh, oh, wait.
Are you a shoes-off house?
I don't know.
Hmm.
Okay, where are the toys?
They're in the living room.
Teddy, you can grab my neck,
but you can't grab my neck skin.
I can grab your neck skin!
Okay, lesson learned.
Hi, Georgia.
Say hi, Georgia.
Aw, she's shy today.
That's okay.
Hey, Georgia,
did you bring...
"Hey, I'm so hungry!"
Today on ze menu at Chez Teddy,
we have a delicious assortment
of Cheddar Bunnies,
Bunny Fruits, Buddy Fruits,
carrots,
apples shaped like dogs...
And milk in mommy and daddy
glasses
because this is
a special playdate.
Mmm.
I feel like they take stuff out
just so that we
have to put it away.
They do have so many things.
I know, like this fire truck,
I keep trying to hide
from Teddy.
He keeps finding it.
And this?
but Georgia caught me.
Oh, this thing is just gonna
keep playing.
We just have to wait it out.
No, Georgia!
Don't touch that.
That's not yours.
Wait, I actually read
this thing that
if the kids take things
and put them
between their thumb
and two fingers,
it's actually practice
for eventual writing skills.
We should get a snack.
Okay.
Wait.
What?
What about the Supermanny?
- Armin?
- Yeah.
That's just for when I'm bored.
Wait, what about the kids?
Will they be okay?
They're fine.
That's the "Elbow Song."
We have about ten more minutes.
Okay.
Justine?
Could I just...
I'm going for my five-month
check-up.
I cleared it with Jane.
No, no.
You have to clear everything
with me now.
Jean's son just got checked
into rehab
for Internet gambling last week.
Yeah, she's totally
out to lunch.
I left you a memo about this
three days ago.
But, it's not what I want
to talk to you about.
Listen, I had a conference
with Marley Benson's mom,
and she said that she saw you
and Sarah Lipson
at Theresa's Bakery,
and that you were both drinking.
"Drinking" drinking?
Drinking alcohol.
- Is she crazy?
- Well...
She's a minor and I'm pregnant.
I... I realize some of the moms
like to manufacture the drama.
Some of the moms are insane.
Justine, her voice was very
level with concern.
Penis.
You have no idea
what you're looking at.
Penis, that's a boy.
Can you just tell me what it is?
Really?
I mean, just tell me.
It's a girl.
I'm gonna be a girl's uncle.
That's insane.
Don't tell Danny.
He really didn't want to find out.
I'm such an a**hole.
You're not an a**hole.
I mean, you're an a**hole,
but not because of that.
Can you put on a little show
for him?
Mm-hmm.
I mean, is it possible that
the girl could have a penis?
It's happened before.
I would love her just the same.
What?
Where, where?
What?
Bubble-butt.
Muffin top.
Do it up.
Muffin back.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Muffin front.
Dru-Dru-Drury Lane.
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"Adult Beginners" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/adult_beginners_2239>.
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