Adult World Page #2

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- It says, "wake up.

Break free from the chrysalis of

middle-class ennui that's imprisoning you."

You're paraphrasing, of

course, huh?

Yeah. Well, I can't believe

we're bantering like this.

This is so cool!

- Life is surreal, kid.

Your work... the first time I read it,

I remember it so clearly evolved me.

- What did it evolve you into?

- An artiste.

Try not to use the pupa

metaphor again, for the record.

Um, you know...

I thought maybe

we could get together sometime.

You can give me some advice or

let me know how you got started.

It's in the books.

Well, maybe we can get a coffee.

You know, I stopped drinking coffee

'cause my adrenal glands are totally shot.

Maybe we can just talk poet to poet.

- Perhaps.

- You're an inspiration.

You, my dear, are an apparition.

Au revoir.

Au revoir, Rat billings.

Hey, hey!

That is not your...

come back here!

Hey!

Sh*t!

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, mother, sh*t!

Would you like personal lubricant...

...or a key chain to go

with your sexist videos?

That's very charming. You sure

you're old enough to work here?

Yeah, I'm an adult.

I swear.

- See you, Mary Anne.

- Bye, Roy.

Later.

- Policemen shop here?

- Sure, same as everybody else.

Well, yeah, but they're policemen.

So?

We're not doing anything illegal.

Yeah, but he's a person of authority

participating in the subjugation of women.

His wife was in a skydiving accident.

She plummeted 10,000 feet,

and her chute didn't open.

Been in a coma for two years.

He rents porn to stay faithful

to her until Jesus takes her.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Okay.

A lot of people like the old-school

feel of browsing the real shelves.

Plus, we have a ton of vintage

stuff you can't find online.

And the sex toys... sometimes

people don't want to wait.

Or have their mom open a fedex

box with their fleshlight in it.

Who's on bathroom duty?

- Not I!

- Not I.

- I am.

- All right.

- All right.

- The brush is under the sink.

My God, there was...

Anybody ever tell you it's

rude to stare?

I'm sorry.

I wasn't... I wasn't staring.

- I was, but I didn't mean to.

- So inappropriate.

Hey! Be cool.

Amy's all right.

Amy, Rubia.

Rubia, Amy.

- Hi.

- So, your shift's over.

Do either of you guys know

which bus goes to dewittshire?

Oh, perfect.

Of course that's where you're from.

- Why are you taking the bus?

- My car was stolen.

Sh*t. Are you okay?

- Pretty sure I'm traumatized.

- Yeah, I'm sorry.

I think the 5:
15 goes that route.

The 5:
15 what?

It's the bus route.

No...

Rubia, you go that way, right?

rShe can show you.

That'd be great.

Really?

I'm gonna rip your nuts off.

You know that?

Give me my battery, please.

- What is this?

- It's a battery.

- From where?

- A Cadillac.

You, like, paying your way

through beauty school?

What?

Why you work at a porn store

downtown?

Um, I'm a poet.

Get out? Seriously?

I'm probably gonna get

published pretty soon.

Writing sh*t about new snow...

for the rich is not art.

It's like my favorite haiku.

That's cool.

- I get my battery, please?

- Yeah.

Gracias.

This is where you live?

Yeah, it's that glam building

down the alley, number 666...

El diablo!

Back door, Becky!

Good night!

Hey, you forgot something!

Powder.

Good night.

Riding the bus is like being

in mogadishu.

Um, I've been on the phone all day,

all day, and apparently someone

canceled the theft policy on your car.

- Well, that is bizarre.

- I said, "that's a mistake,"

and then they sent me the signed

letter of cancellation,

and it's letter of cancellation,

and it's a poem.

That is a series of couplets.

Is that the mail?

The New Yorker!

Please, please.

Rejected.

Amy, do you know

how difficult this year has been?

why do we keep getting

student-loan bills that are past due?

Why did you cancel the insurance

on your car?

I don't have enough money

for car insurance!

We give you money for your insurance,

and you spend it all on literary contests!

It's an investment in my future.

Stop being such a child.

Everyone needs to stop

calling me a child!

You are a child.

All right.

This is my last stop.

Okay, um...

You think you could drop me off

where you dropped off my friend,

you know, the guy... the girl.

- Rubia?

- Yeah, that would be great.

Rubia?

Rubia?

Ms. Rubia?

It's me, Amy.

Remember?

Hello?

- My parents kicked me out.

- So, why'd you come here?

I don't know any other bus routes.

Jesus Christ.

Come in.

Thank you.

You're not sleeping on my bed.

- That's... that's fine.

- Mm-hmm.

I'll stay out of your hair.

I promise.

- What is that?

- It's crack.

Oh, Cool.

I'm just kidding.

It's medical marijuana.

It's for my TMJ.

I don't do drugs.

You a poet?

Take a hit.

You need to chill out.

Come on, Suburbia.

- You're pretty.

- I'm a Diva.

- Out of my way, please.

- Sorry.

Say something.

You look like a cheap hooker.

Oh my God.

I didn't mean to call you a whore.

I mean, a hooker.

I...

You're not either.

- Sh*t, I do look like a hooker.

- I'm sorry.

I don't know why I said that stuff.

I think the drugs are talking.

Don't get cray.

At least I can trust you

to be honest.

My teeth feel so big in my

mouth right now.

It's just pot, okay?

It's not acid.

Don't your teeth feel huge?

- Ginormous.

- And sharp... they're really sharp.

You need to get them sanded down.

Teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth.

Took a long time to dig it.

But I found out

you don't really dig me.

Mm-mm-mm.

So, get your heels a-clicking!

- We are the 99%!

- We are the 99%!

- Candace!

- We are the 99%!

- We are the 99%!

- We are the 99%!

- We are the 99%!

- Candace!

Oh!

My God, you got my message!

- How are you?

- I'm so glad you came.

Sarrah, you look great.

Oh my God.

Hey, Pablo, can you help her up?

Please come up.

- I'm getting up.

- One, two, three!

Oh, my God.

How are you? Oh, my God.

It's so good to see you.

- How are you?

- I'm so good. I'm so good.

After, like, Cuba and Darfur,

I just realized that this is where

I needed to be, you know what I mean?

in our own decaying country

instead of everywhere else.

Right! Well, great.

I'm so happy for you.

Oh, my God. Sorry.

Pablo?

Pablo, this is Amy.

Oh, Hi.

Pablo and I met hiking across

Ecuador.

- We met at the airport.

- No, we didn't. We met in Ecuador,

with the organic chicken farm.

Remember?

- We met at the airport.

- No. He's so crazy.

- No. He's so crazy.

- All right, I'm gonna go.

- I have to go to work.

- No, no, stop.

- Come on. Join the movement.

- Maybe next time.

- No, we need you.

- It seems awesome, so, um...

Maybe next time.

But I'll see you this weekend.

- Let's get together.

- Love you.

Good to see you.

Nice to meet you, Pablo.

- Hell, no, we won't go!

- Hell, no, we won't go!

- Hell, no, we won't go!

- Hell, no, we won't go!

Um, I gave you a $100.

$75.75?

You're right.

I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking.

Don't worry about it.

Everyone makes a mistake sometimes.

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