Adventures in the Sin Bin Page #4

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DON'T DO THAT.

YOU NEVER LE ME DO THAT.

NOT THE HAIR THING-

YES, DON'T DO

THE HAIR THING,

BUT DON'T BREAK UP

WITH HER FOR ME.

I DID THIS,

I WANT TO.

WELL...

I GOT YOU SOMETHING.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

CLOSE THEM.

OKAY.

WOW.

YOU DON'T LIKE IT?

NO, I REALLY LIKE IT.

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD

TALK DIFFERENT WITH IT ON.

THANK YOU.

DO YOU MISS BEING HOME?

KIDS I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL

WITH ARE MARRIED.

NOW, THEY HAVE KIDS,

AND DOGS.

I HAVE A WEIRD:

THING WITH ANIMALS.

A BUNCH OF FRIENDS OF MINE

FOUND THIS CAT IN AN ALLEY.

I DROPPED IT OFF A ROOF

TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.

TO SEE IF I LANDED ON ITS FEET?

I KNEW IT WOULD DIE.

I JUST WANTED TO WATCH,

YOU KNOW,

ITS LAST MOMEN ON EARTH.

JUST KIDDING.

[CHUCKLES]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

THIS IS REASSIGNMENT.

YOU ARE TO QUIET STUDY.

YOU GET A HALF PERIOD

FOR LUNCH.

HERE YOU GO.

SON, WHAT ARE

YOU DOING HERE?

I'M SORRY SIR,

I WAS TARDY.

TARDY?

HOW MANY TIMES?

TEN TIMES.

TEN!?

JEEZ LOUISE.

YOU'RE WALKING A TIGHTLY-ROPED,

HIGH-OCTANE DANGER ZONE.

WHEN WE GAVE YOU

THIS SCHOLARSHIP

IT WAS BECAUSE OF YOUR

ACADEMIC PROMISE.

YOU DON'T WAN TO SCREW THIS UP.

YOU DON'T SEE

TONY IN HERE.

OKAY,

NEVER AGAIN.

ABSOLUTELY NOT, SIR.

OKAY GOOD, HIGH OCTANE.

TOUCH THE SKY.

YES!

IT'S A GREAT DAY TO

BE ALIVE EVERYBODY.

GREAT DAY.

SORRY.

WHAT THE HELL,

PUMA?

I'M SORRY, I GOT "REO".

YOU'RE A BAD KID.

HOW WERE THE:

BOTANICAL GARDENS?

BORING AS F***,

BUT SOMEHOW REALLY

PRETTY AND INSPIRING..

PUMA?

SORRY... WHAT?

EH, IT WAS

SOMETHING ABOUT FLOWERS.

I GOTTA GO.

WILL I SEE YOU MONDAY

OR YOU GONNA GET BUSTED

FOR SOMETHING ELSE?

WE'LL SEE...

OK.

LATER, PUMA!

HI!

HEY!

SO, I WANTED TO

ASK YOU SOMETHING.

YOU HAVE:

AMERICAN STUDIES, RIGHT?

YEAH.

I KINDA NEED:

HELP WITH THE REVIEW,

DO YOU THINK NEXT WEEK WE

COULD HANG AND YOU COULD...

HELP ME?

I'D LOVE TO.

WHERE IS THIS:

COMING FROM, HANDSOME?

I'M BEING SERIOUS.

HAVE YOU?

LOWER THE:

BIG-BOY VOICE PLEASE.

YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

I'M NOT GONNA LET THAT SULLIED

WHAT I HAVE WITH SUZIE.

I'M GONNA TELL

YOU THIS ONCE:

ERICA'S A VERY SHARP GIRL,

VERY PRETTY, VERY SWEET,

SHE SMELLS LIKE FALL.

NOVEMBER-ISH.

BUT SHE FUCKS:

LIKE A BLOW UP DOLL.

I SPENT THE DAY:

IN REO.

THANKS FOR LEAVING

THE KEY.

I'M SORRY, BUDDY-BOY.

ESPECIALLY ABOU THE FIELD TRIP,

I KNOW YOU WERE LOOKING

FORWARD TO THAT.

HAVE A SEAT.

SIT.

DON'T LET MY INFIDELITIES

SALT OUR ARRANGEMENT.

BECAUSE IF YOU:

TOLD SOMEBODY...

I'LL GET INSIDE YOUR MIND

AND I'LL F*** MY WAY OUT.

[TOILET FLUSHING]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

TRAIN FARE.

MY TREAT.

IF I TAKE THAT MONEY

FROM YOU,

THEN WHAT WE'RE DOING

FEELS PRETTY BAD.

WE HAVEN' DONE ANYTHING.

TAKE IT.

I'M GOING TO SPEND I ON SOMETHING ELSE.

AT LEAS YOU'LL HESITATE.

I DON'T WANNA

GO HOME.

I GOTTA GO.

IT'S HER MOTHER'S

BIRTHDAY.

YOU CAN GO.

I DON'T WAN TO GO HOME.

I'LL SIT RIGHT HERE.

IT'S NOT MY VAN.

WHO'S VAN IS THIS?

A FRIEND'S.

JUST PUT THE KEY BACK?

WHY DON'T WE

USE YOUR CAR?

NO, BECAUSE MY

TRANSMISSION'S SLOW

AND OTHER SILLINESS

I CAN'T AFFORD RIGHT NOW.

THEN WHY ARE:

YOU GIVING ME MONEY?

STOP.

OK, JUST PU THE KEY BACK.

I'LL PUT THE KEY BACK,

I'LL PUT THE KEY BACK,

I'LL PUT THE KEY BACK!

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[CAR HORN SOUNDS]

[MUSIC]

COME ON.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

HEY PUMA, DON'T YOU

EVEN THINK ABOUT POUNCING-

YOU F***ING P*SSY.

JESUS.

WHAT ARE YOU:

DOING HERE?

BIN'S MINE TONIGHT.

SEE.

I WROTE IT DOWN.

SOMEONE'S IN THERE.

THAT WHORE KIM?

DID SHE HUM?

NO IT'S NO THAT WHORE KIM.

IS A HUMAN:

ACTUALLY IN THERE?

SH*T!

TH-THAT'S NO WHAT YOU THINK.

OH, NO, IT'S BETTER!

YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY

MATTER NOW.

I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO HAVE TO

REARRANGE SOME STUFF TONIGHT,

BUT GOD DAMMI I'M PROUD OF YOU.

THAT MEANS THE:

WORLD TO ME MAN.

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

GIMME THE KEYS.

I NEED THE BIN.

WHAT? NO. I CAN'T.

GIVE ME THE KEYS,

IT'S MY CAR.

WAS YOUR CAR.

THERE'S A GIRL

IN THERE.

GIMME THE F***IN'

KEYS BRIAN.

NO.

YES.

[BANG!]

WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT?

SEE, I WASN' LYING!

IT'S A REAL

LIFE GIRL.

I NEED YOUR HELP,

I GOTTA MOVE HER.

NOT MY PROBLEM.

I DIDN'T GIVE YOU A HARD TIME

WHEN YOU MOVED AWAY

OR ASK YOU FOR:

ANYTHING WHEN DAD DIED.

SO HELP ME MOVE:

THE DRUNK GIRL UPSTAIRS.

WELL, WHEN YOU

PUT IT LIKE THAT...

I THOUGHT SO.

GOT TO LIFT HER UP.

[CRYING]

I'VE NEVER WITNESSED AN

ACTUAL PASSING OUT BEFORE.

I DOUBT THAT.

HOW DO WE DO THIS?

GRAB HER BY THE ASS,

IT'S EASIER.

I'M NOT GRABBING HER ASS

WHILE SHE'S PASSED OUT.

I'M NOT SAYING DO I LIKE A PERVERT.

I'M SAYING, DO IT LIKE

YOU WERE TOUCHING GRANDMA.

THAT IS AWFUL.

SHE'S HEAVIER THAN SH*T.

SHUT-UP, YOU'LL

GIVE HER A COMPLEX.

SHE'S A DRUNK GIRL

IN A VAN.

WHAT ARE YOU:

TWO J.O'S DOIN'?

F***, LOOK NOW WHAT YOU DID.

IS SHE DEAD?

YES, OFFICER.

YOU CAUGHT US.

WE KILLED HER.

THAT'S WHY YOU

GRAB HER BY THE ASS.

OKAY. CRACKER, NO!

THAT'S A GOOD JOJO.

BIP-BIP-BIP.

SHE DRANK:

A LITTLE TOO MUCH.

WE'RE PUTTING

HER UPSTAIRS:

AND SHE IS NOT DEAD

WE GOTTA COME UP

WITH A STRATEGY,

COME UP WITH SOME

KIND OF ROUTE HERE.

WE GOT IT MAN.

JUST GO HOME.

I'M NOT GONNA EXCHANGE

IDEAS WITH YOU.

I'VE OPTED TO

EXPEDITE THIS SITUATION.

YOU'RE NOT THE

BOSS OF US, MAN!

GET HER MID-SECTION.

FINE.

SHE'S REALLY

A VERY NICE GIRL.

CAN YOU SMELL:

MY PERIOD?

WHAT'S HER NAME?

JANE.

JANE?!

DO YOU HAVE TO FLASH THE LIGH IN HER FACE LIKE THAT?

I DO, ACTUALLY.

JANE?

DO YOU KNOW:

WHERE YOU ARE?

THE WORLD.

YOU AND YOUR:

GOD DAMN VAN.

THIS IS YOUR VAN?

ALRIGHT.

ONE...

TWO...

THREE.

SHE IS HEAVIER:

THAN SH*T.

THAT'S WHA I SAID...

WHY IS THE:

DOOR LOCKED?

BENNY, WHY'D YOU

LOCK THE DOOR!?

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