Agatha Raisin and the Quiche of Death Page #7

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And what I did for her

was dignity.

Dignity? Yeah.

She forgave her sister on Oprah.

There was a big hug,

and she got a huge settlement.

Afterwards, it transpired

that she'd never loved him,

and the sisters had played

this long game

in order to disgrace him

and get their hands on his millions.

Well, that's the world of movie

stars - they're all crazy.

They're still people. And there was

something stagey about Jo's hug.

There's been something staged

about her ever since he died.

You don't think

they're in it together, do you?

I think if the police

got them in for questioning,

frightened them a bit,

one of them would crack.

Yeah, but they're not going

to do that, are they?

They're not daft.

Inspector Wilkes, Murder Squad.

Ahem!

South Gloucestershire Police.

How can we help you?

Inspector, this is Agatha Raisin.

I think Andy Cummings-Browne

was murdered.

And I have two suspects.

'I told you our luck would change!

'Get the sausages on - I'm famished.

'Agatha! Where are you going?

'I'm just going to look at

my cottage.

'Dinna be too long, Aggie. Your

dinner will be ready. OK, Dad.

'Any more of these lagers?'

I warned you.

What are you doing? Get back!

Come on, then!

Stay away!

Don't chase him.

We've all seen who he is.

Are you all right?

Er... no, not really.

Let's get you into your house.

Aaargh!

What happened?

She's just been attacked

by John Cartwright.

Put your arm here. OK.

One, two... three.

I'm heavy-boned.

Let me do it.

Let's get you some sweet tea.

Bill said they're releasing

the two jailbirds

you got taken in for questioning.

Do they know it was me

who called the police?

Not if I don't tell them.

But they might guess by themselves.

I was right, though, wasn't I?

There was a murderer in the village.

He tried to take me out

because he thought I was onto him.

Well, you've covered your bases

by accusing everyone in Carsely.

Yeah, well, we...

we don't need to tell anyone

about that, do we?

We won't say anything.

Thank you. Thanks for your help.

Well, we had a motive to keep

you alive, Mrs. Raisin.

We were coming to find you. Why?

We know what everyone

in the village thinks of us.

That we're useless.

But we've borrowed a bit of money

and set up a firm in my dad's garage

selling second-hand quad bikes.

You two are running a business?

We've got a website

and a few orders,

but we could do with some help

with publicity.

You're big in PR, aren't you?

Well, I was.

I'm not really anything any more.

Are you all right, Agatha?

She's in shock.

We're both in shock. You've had

some orders for those things?

I'd love to help.

We'll leave it with you.

Well, everyone out, cos I

need get round to the Cartwrights,

but I'll come back straight away.

I'll stay with her.

Are you all right with him

staying here? I don't have to go.

Go on, Bill. She'll be all right.

Excuse me.

We've found loads of stuff

in Cartwright's shed.

The stuff burgled from Mrs. Raisin's

last week,

and a few others

in Moreton-in-Marsh.

That was all Cartwright?

Why did he attack Mrs. Raisin?

She didn't accuse him of murder.

She's been snooping around his wife,

asking about the Cummings-Browne

death,

but she said he couldn't bake

a quiche to save his life,

and on the night Cummings-Browne

died,

they were both down the club

in Cirencester.

He must have thought she was

snooping about the burglaries.

Have we got him? His van was seen

heading down the Fosse.

'Attention all units.

'The suspect John Cartwright

'has been apprehended

south of Princethorpe. '

I'll pass that on, Bill.

John Cartwright had nothing

to do with Andy's death.

She says she's very sorry for

interfering with police business.

Yes, she's very sorry.

Bye.

I've made a right mess of things,

haven't I?

Oh! I don't know

what I was thinking about.

I've never going to fit in here.

I'm going to go back to London.

Don't be put off. Stop this madness.

Just give things time.

I used to be someone, you know.

I had my own business and I was

bloody good at what I did.

I don't doubt it.

And now the highlight of my week

is seeing Mrs. Boggle

urinate by the side of the road.

I'll have to go, before I face

the wrath of your sister and Jo.

Miaow!

Hello, you!

We're going to go back

to London, aren't we?

And we're going to make it sit up

and take notice again.

Pedmans closed the little office

and moved us to their big place

in Aldwych.

Come on! You and I both know clients

don't like the corporate stuff.

It's the personal touch they like.

So I have a proposition for you.

I'm setting up business again,

and I want you to be my partner.

I'll give you... 20... 23...

25% of the company.

25% of what, Aggie?

All your clients have come to

Pedmans. They're happy there.

I'm happy there.

I'm ecstatic for you. Great.

All right, then,

I'll set up on my own.

I'll give the cat 25% of the company.

Why, Aggie?

What do you need to prove?

I need to prove...

I need to prove that

Cummings-Browne was murdered.

Because... I don't know. I just

feel it. I feel it in my bones.

And when have you ever known

my bones to be wrong about anything?

OK. Who did your bones first tell

you was the killer?

His wife.

Then trust that, Aggie.

And think it through.

The thing I don't understand

is why his wife would stay with him

if she knew he'd slept with everyone.

Some women are pleased

their men go elsewhere.

No, they're not! They are.

They're not. They are.

Fidelity is not important to them.

But they would have some other hold

they would protect violently

if it was threatened.

Like status or money?

Exactly. A woman like this would

be very protective of the hold

that her money, say, had on him.

The psychological profile

has been well mapped...

Oh, God!

.. by Jung, Freud... Argh!

Have a nice day.

I realise I'm the last person

you ever want to see again, but...

No, you're the second-last person.

I really need to know.

I want you to tell me again how you

think cowbane could have got into...

No. Please go away. Please! OK.

Who is the last person

you ever want to see again?

That Mrs. Cummings-Browne.

Every time the door opens, I dread

looking up in case it's her.

She came here?

The day after the inquest.

What did she want?

100,000. Out of court.

Said if I didn't settle,

she'd sue me for every penny I had.

What did you say?

I told her it wasn't my quiche.

Wasn't it?

You're not the only one

who cheats, Agatha.

That weekend, I was at my cousin's

in Devon. We have the same business.

And although we say

"baked on the premises",

I borrowed some of his quiche,

so we didn't have to come back

a day early.

Yours was one of his.

Why didn't you say all this

at the inquest?

My cousin's daughter...

Her husband is not yet registered

with the British authorities.

This boy is working for his

father-in-law without a permit,

so I didn't want the police

snooping around.

And when you told Jo all this,

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